OpenBook13 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Hi all... I need some advice (good and bad) about the situation I'm in. I'm looking for general pointers to see if this is a lost cause or something that is manageable. Background Me and this girl both work in the same hospital but in different departments. When on break we meet up in the cafeteria, talk about everything and get along great. We text back and forth about everything under the sun. We have gone on a couple of outings to the gym and park but because of both of our schedules, going out at night is not really an option unless we plan on taking days off together. Situation NYE she took off because she was legitimately tired and needed time off. So I called her to go out and celebrate. After an initial refusal, she agreed. We went out, had fun and went back to her place for drinks. She said he was getting sleepy and we just laid on her bed talking. This is totally my fault but I was being awkward that things were moving too fast and didn't make a move. I didn't even try and kiss her. I excused myself from her house and that was the end of it. Problem Things are a bit awkward. We didn't talk about what happened that night. Texting doesnt happen as often as before. I offered to take her out for ice cream on our lunch break. I'm afraid that I put myself in a friends situation with her and now. How do I go about making sure that doesn't happen?
Leegh Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 She has far more respect for you then if you tried to have sex with her. If this happened repeatedly, time after time, she may consider that you only liked her as a friend, but this one time, I would not worry about it at all. When you do see her again on a date, you can take things a little further and it will be clear to her that you like her romantically. 1
april38 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 It's not necessarily a bad thing to be in the friend category for a while. It gives you an opportunity to really break down some of those walls that can occur when romantic relationships move too fast. Plus, for women attraction grows deeper during that friend period. Let the pot between you simmer for a while, it will make it so much hotter if/when you finally become passionate. You were being authentic when you didn't make a move because you weren't ready, and you shouldn't feel bad about that. Instead feel pride in knowing that you have enough character to be true to yourself. If I were you I would try to point out the giant elephant in the room. Maybe initiate a light discussion about it saying that things have seemed a bit ackward since that night, that you really value her, and kind of like her, but just enjoying getting to know eachother better. (Or however you feel comfortable opening up the convo). But either way, whether you become friends, or great lovers, without breaking down that communication wall, you will never truly become either. I call them courageous conversation because they require the courage to say what the other party is thinking. For me, as a woman, if I'm interested in a man (as it sounds like she is in you) I would be thrilled that I'm worth enough to you to even have that discussion.
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