shenanigans Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I'm in a same-sex relationship for 18 months. Last year, my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I asked my girlfriend to move in with us for emotional support. We have not come out and my parents believe that she is just a very close friend of mine. My parents are conservative and I am their only child. Recently, my mom commented that the neighbors are gossiping on my GF's looks and actions and that she looks like butch. My mother further commented that I should be careful and that I might get influence by her. Upon discussion with my GF, we decided that at the moment she should move out and plan when and how are we going to come out to my parents. It's better to be prepared now than being in a situation wherein my parents will suddenly find out and she'll be thrown out and has no place to stay. This is decision is very difficult for the two of us because the past 10 months she was staying with me has been blissful. We have shared our life together and supported each other. My concern is that she might get lonely living on her own, might turn to alcohol. Her life tends to revolve around me at the moment and she has few friends. I would also probably stress that she's not eating right, or sleeping well. We go to the same company but she's currently deployed to our client. At most, we can go to work together, have lunch and go home together (since she'll be renting somewhere within my city). We have grown dependent to one another that the mere thought of us not being to in the same house breaks our hearts. It's almost unhealthy. I believe this is a test for the both of us but right now, the pain is undeniable. Would anyone has an idea on how can we adjust on this situation or, what should be our mindset? Any other thoughts are welcome. Thank you.
theLWord Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 She probably shouldn't have moved in if you were keeping that from your mom. Your mom deserves to know, and from her saying that about the neighbors comment, she most likely does know. She was testing what you'd say or hoping it wasn't true. If you really love this girl, it can't matter what your mom thinks, your neighbors, or anyone. If you are helping to take care of your mom, she should appreciate that. However, your gf looking for another place sounds smart if your mom isnt accepting to begin with. You should know that its very unhealthy to be dependent on anyone. You can't worry about what your gf is going to do/feel as you can't control how she reacts. If you both are that co dependent, you should see therapists individually. Good luck on coming out to your parents.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 The only way to tell em is to tell em. Odds are they already know your different.
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