allenpo123 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 So I broke up with my ex a month ago, it was a mutual break-up off good terms, we decided we still wanted to be good friends. Yesterday he contacted me and it led up to audio notes, video notes and eventually he asked me to come on Skype. I missed him so much the second I heard his voice I cried. He asked me to change my profile pic because he thinks I look good and hot in the photo, and it makes him miss me more. He also said he's been coming on whatsapp just to look at my profile pic. I can tell we both missed each other's company a lot, and it made me feel better knowing that he misses me too. When we were talking on Skype he was very affectionate, telling me it's good to see me, and that I look good, but then it turned a little flirty.. He said the last time we met, he really liked walking together with me, my hands, figure, legs..etc, I stopped him and asked him what is this about, and he joked "I'm flirting with you, it's not serious". It suddenly made things so cheap I cried. I tried explaining how I don't want our relationship to become some meaningless back-up flirt, he told me not to worry, he understood what I meant, but he kept expressing the things he really liked about me... Eventually he asked me hang up because he was having unresolved feelings while talking to me. I thought it was a good idea to hang up, although I didn't want to, but it was the right thing to do. Afterwards I felt like I didn't miss him that much anymore, it was like I had a dose of him and I'm good for the road. Maybe it's because he was so determined to end the relationship before, it made me want him more. I was weak when we ended things, and I guess he knew he had to be in control for the sake of us both. But now I see that he can also lose control of himself, it makes me stronger and think that it's my turn to be the determined one. I know what we had was real and sincere, there will always be that chemistry between us, but we need to let the sparks die... Or maybe I just didn't want to see that he is in fact a jerk. (sigh) Sorry for the long vent guys.... anyone have similar experiences with your ex?
counterman Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 If you read around here, many people have had similar experiences. Me included. I spoke to my ex a few times after she broke up with me and you know what? It didn't help anything. It made my pain worse and delayed my healing. I didn't get over her for a while. Our exes are our exes for a reason. Here are two guides that really helped me out: Guide to No Contact Do you really think contacting your ex will help you? Bottom line is, you have to stay strong. Good on you for having the strength to hang up. And you need to build on that and stop ALL contact with him. Block him on Facebook, Skype, WhatsApp and stop any other form of communication. It's going to be tough. It's not going to be easy. In fact, the temptation to contact him would be so immense at times but remember that if you do contact him, all you are doing is increasing your pain and delaying your chance of healing and eventually meeting someone new. Any questions, feel free to ask - but now it's time to move on and to live for YOU, not HIM
118unknown Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I think staying friends is possibly the worth scenario unless you both truly let go. Just think back at all the good times you had, and just leave the relationship happy - knowing that both of you have paid a significant part in each others life. You can always be friends and nothing will be awkward if you both moved on! But yes, Ive also had a similar situation with my ex - in fact its one million times a lot worse if you look at my thread. We both mutually broke up again for good reasons, and a week later she phones me up and we ended up going to Paris together.... so im not really sure whats going on with me... 1
Author allenpo123 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 I think staying friends is possibly the worth scenario unless you both truly let go. Just think back at all the good times you had, and just leave the relationship happy - knowing that both of you have paid a significant part in each others life. You can always be friends and nothing will be awkward if you both moved on! But yes, Ive also had a similar situation with my ex - in fact its one million times a lot worse if you look at my thread. We both mutually broke up again for good reasons, and a week later she phones me up and we ended up going to Paris together.... so im not really sure whats going on with me... Thanks! I think it IS possible to stay friends with exgfs and exbfs... Although most people say it's impossible and the right thing to do is to cut off all contacts; but I believe if 2 people are mature enough, friendship can be developed through time. (Although it's going to be so hard in the beginning) Do you have a thread about your relationship? Looks like we have a lot in common...
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