I was doing so fine moving on, but I really don't want to go back to square one!

[dchin1985]

Thanks for taking a look, and I hope you can offer me some wise words...

 

I have posted my story before but here you go again, i will keep the story short. So me and my Ex (both 27) broke up 1.5month ago from a 3 years relationship. We were very compatible with each other and the relationship felt like heaven. When i look back at our picture, we smiled at each other all the time. Our parents supported us to get married and we planned it. I almost got her a 2 carts ring as well.. But the last year of our relaionship really didn't feel the same anymore. She changed her job and i feel that she has GIGS. Then she became distanced and cold towards me the last few weeks of our relationship despite me trying to save it. At the end, I became emotionally exhausted that I have no choice, no energy left but let it go. So it was like a mutual breakup. She didn't think she sees a future anyway. (Can read my posts if you like).

 

So in the last month, yes I was very sad, but this is not my first breakup. I went straight to no contact (despite sending her christmas and New year wishes, which she replied and sent me back our puppy's photo). I partied alot and went to Korea for a week long holiday to get my mind out of things. Went on date with a few girls. Here is the thing, I met this girl, very nice and super sweet to me. Bought me scarf for christmas which she had the same and desert (of course I did return her by buying her nice dinner, some surprises and movie), and went out to date with other girls as well, BUT i don't feel much!!! Even my mind tells me to give them a try but i feel my heart is simply not available at this moment! I am not a player, and i know when i really love someone i would just go ahead even though i might get a slap in the face. But i just didn't seem to be able to pull it. I don't know why i feel like this.

 

I was doing so fine moving on, get myself busy (interview for new jobs, new activities, bought new clothes, new friends, working on a business idea, stock investment and so on), i felt my life was improving, but day like today i miss my ex and she was in my dream. And i wonder why did i think about her. I don't want to go back to square one if it just isn't meant to be.

 

Anyone came across this feeling before?

Edited January 7, 2013 by dchin1985

[Gingerxr2]

Thanks for taking a look, and I hope you can offer me some wise words...

 

I have posted my story before but here you go again, i will keep the story short. So me and my Ex (both 27) broke up 1.5month ago from a 3 years relationship. We were very compatible with each other and the relationship felt like heaven. When i look back at our picture, we smiled at each other all the time. Our parents supported us to get married and we planned it. I almost got her a 2 carts ring as well.. But the last year of our relaionship really didn't feel the same anymore. She changed her job and i feel that she has GIGS. Then she became distanced and cold towards me the last few weeks of our relationship despite me trying to save it. At the end, I became emotionally exhausted that I have no choice, no energy left but let it go. So it was like a mutual breakup. She didn't think she sees a future anyway. (Can read my posts if you like).

 

So in the last month, yes I was very sad, but this is not my first breakup. I went straight to no contact (despite sending her christmas and New year wishes, which she replied and sent me back our puppy's photo). I partied alot and went to Korea for a week long holiday to get my mind out of things. Went on date with a few girls. Here is the thing, I met this girl, very nice and super sweet to me. Bought me scarf for christmas which she had the same and desert (of course I did return her by buying her nice dinner, some surprises and movie), and went out to date with other girls as well, BUT i don't feel much!!! Even my mind tells me to give them a try but i feel my heart is simply not available at this moment! I am not a player, and i know when i really love someone i would just go ahead even though i might get a slap in the face. But i just didn't seem to be able to pull it. I don't know why i feel like this.

 

I was doing so fine moving on, get myself busy (interview for new jobs, new activities, bought new clothes, new friends, working on a business idea, stock investment and so on), i felt my life was improving, but day like today i miss my ex and she was in my dream. And i wonder why did i think about her. I don't want to go back to square one if it just isn't meant to be.

 

Anyone came across this feeling before?

 

I think you answered your own question mate , your heart isn't available , some people get over people by being under people , but it sounds like your like me and a few other blokes and women who need time to adapt and move in properly before going doing someone new , I dream about my ex to , and Im now expert and I'm sure you will get different answers , bit I think it's you just dealing with what's happened ?

[crashvector]

you cant force it.

 

You sound a lot like me, too.

 

I just can't even date until i'm completely done because i feel like I'm cheating until I move on.

 

Yeah, doesnt make any sense, but I feel like i'm being deceptive to the girl im on a date with, and I always come home afterwards feeling like crap anyhow.

 

I think it just happens like that: from time to time, for MONTHS or even years after, you will periodically think about the other person...at least that's how it is for me.

 

Sucks whenever it happens though.

 

I've been considering getting out of here for a while, too...just to clear my head and separate myself from the surroundings I am in because everywhere reminds me of her...grocery shopping with her...riding in the car together, EVERYTHING reminds me of her.

 

I'm sure it gets less and less (like in your case) but I think you are expecting yourself to somehow wipe her from your memory completely, and I just don't think that's possible.