SayonaraItsuka Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I met this girl on eharmony. Normally I wouldn't talk to a girl without a picture, but I took a shot at this girl, because her short bio interested me. Eventually we started talking, and now we're texting each other. She lives over a thousand miles from me. We talked about meeting each other up in California over Spring Break, but of course I would want to get to know her more. She seems really sweet and a good match, but not being able to see what she looks like sort of discourages me. Has anybody had this happen to them before? What should I do?
Carenth Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Ask for a picture or maybe suggest chatting on skype with cam. If a flood of excuses come in. Like I don't have a camera (of any kind) or similar reasons. You can assume she is hiding something. Or she could be a 50 year old dude pretending to be a girl. I wouldn't be agreeing to meeting up with someone unless I knew exactly what they looked like... 1
Author SayonaraItsuka Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 She told me she has trust issues and that she'll reveal herself when she feels like she could trust me. I really hope she's not a 50 year old guy. lol
Carenth Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 If you are talking about potentially meeting up I think enough trust has been formed where it is not an unreasonable request to put a face to a name. I would be very wary if I was you.
Author SayonaraItsuka Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 I'm just enjoying our conversations. Putting a face doesn't really matter to me as much now, but would really appreciate it if she did soon.
LittleTiger Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 My guy flew 12,000 miles to meet me, after chatting online for two months, without knowing what I looked like. His choice not mine. I had photos on my profile but none that showed my face and, although I offered many times to send him some, and I described myself in detail, he said it didn't matter to him because our emotional and mental connection was so good. Three years plus and we're still going strong. I'm telling you this to point out that 'no photos' isn't always a red flag. She may be genuinely very cautious, just as I was. I'm not suggesting you take the risk that my guy did but I do think your instinct should be kicking in to some extent. If you suspect something isn't quite right then it probably isn't. Perhaps you already do and that's why you are posting here. Is she 'cagey' in other ways or just about the photos? How long have you been chatting? If there is nothing to raise your suspicion, perhaps you could just get to know her for now and forget about what she looks like. Concentrate on buiding some trust and rapport and, if she's genuine, she will offer her photos pretty soon. If she doesn't you might have a problem, not necessarily with how she looks, but with someone is too 'private' to be dating online.
To be or not to be Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Contact Nev from MTV's Catfish before you meet. 1
Author SayonaraItsuka Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 LittleTiger, thank you for telling me a story similar to my situation. But in her case, she didn't have any photos at all. Based on her personality (what I have observed so far), she seems to be the type to be very cautious and shy if I were to just talk to her for the first time in person. I have to say I am really happy for your strong 3+ years relationship. Although I do not know you, it always makes me happy to know there are happy long term couples out there.
LittleTiger Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 LittleTiger, thank you for telling me a story similar to my situation. But in her case, she didn't have any photos at all. Based on her personality (what I have observed so far), she seems to be the type to be very cautious and shy if I were to just talk to her for the first time in person. I have to say I am really happy for your strong 3+ years relationship. Although I do not know you, it always makes me happy to know there are happy long term couples out there. Thanks SayonaraItsuka If she has no photos at all online then she is perhaps unhappy with her appearance - her size or shape being most likely. Time will tell. I really hope it works out for you and that she is just shy and taking her time. If you like her personality just enjoy the friendship you have and see where it goes. Good luck
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