Just smile Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Today as expected he returned from his vacation and all day I was having a bad feeling, well he sent a message to me from another phone saying he missed me wishes me the best hopes I've found happiness ( yea really in two weeks ? ) and sorry for hurting me .. Wtf??!!! I did not respond but I'm reeling Bd upset and bothered by the message .... Thoughts ???
Missing Him Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Sorry that you're hurting He's messaging you to assuage his own guilt is what I gather. It's good that you didn't respond, it doesn't sound like there's a reason to. 1
XKatieX Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 DO NOT RESPOND!!! It sounds like he is just being nosy..probably feeling some guilt too. If you respond it will just show you are not over him! 1
NoMoreJerks Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Today as expected he returned from his vacation and all day I was having a bad feeling, well he sent a message to me from another phone saying he missed me wishes me the best hopes I've found happiness ( yea really in two weeks ? ) and sorry for hurting me .. Wtf??!!! I did not respond but I'm reeling Bd upset and bothered by the message .... Thoughts ??? Trying to fish for a response that would alleviate his guilt. I say, don't give him that. He does not deserve it. He should feel guilty and more. It could also be that he wants to know where you're at. If you've found someone else. Maybe he's one of those people who don't want to commit to you, but still want to keep you as an option, and want to make sure that you haven't moved on... 1
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Nothing to think about. It's just a message. Don't respond.
Author Just smile Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Thank you I did not respond, although the urge was there, the freaking holidays passed and he did not reach out but NOW tht he is home and bored e reached out? And asked if I found happiness???!! REALLY!??? I'm more angry than ever. He did not follow up but I assume he will,this isn't done on his part and that's where my anxiety sets in. Why the ****KKKK is he reaching out now??? Why??!!!!!
Missing Him Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Anger is good! Anger will get you where you need to be, which is over him. He's reaching out because he feels guilty and he wants you to either a) validate his decision to dump you by lashing out and being emotional or b) relieve his guilt for dumping you by saying that you're doing well. Make a selfish decision and don't give him either 2
NoMoreJerks Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Thank you I did not respond, although the urge was there, the freaking holidays passed and he did not reach out but NOW tht he is home and bored e reached out? And asked if I found happiness???!! REALLY!??? I'm more angry than ever. He did not follow up but I assume he will,this isn't done on his part and that's where my anxiety sets in. Why the ****KKKK is he reaching out now??? Why??!!!!! Like everyone else said, and like you also noted. A number of reasons: 1) Guilt 2) Wants to make sure you haven't moved on. 3) Bored and testing the waters Ignore, ignore, ignore. Block his # if you have to. That won't mean he will stop, but it can reduce the chances that you might get anything from him (depending on how resourceful and persistent he is). After dumping me the first tiem around, my ex contacted me using a random number (Skype SMS), I am guessing because he was worried I might've blocked his # on my phone.. These people care only about THEMSELVES. He is NOT thinking about your well-being. If he were, he would've left you alone, even if you hadn't asked to be left alone. He should've realized how much he hurt you, and given you the space you needed to heal. But nope, they don't give a sh*t, if they think they can still get something out of you.
Author Just smile Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 For the record I did dump him but this is a first for me as he always was the dumper but it hasn't made this situation easier its hard very tough raw. Love him still and miss him awfully ... He's awful to me , very toxic and allowed the holidays to pass without thinking of mr while he basked in the sun doing god knows what , but now home and sends thus bull**** breadcrumb , his numbers have Been blocked but he always finds a way , he's not done , I know it ... I'm still weak but I haven't given in and will not , I'm so hurt and scared by this it's truly traumatic. To me
NoMoreJerks Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 For the record I did dump him but this is a first for me as he always was the dumper but it hasn't made this situation easier its hard very tough raw. Love him still and miss him awfully ... He's awful to me , very toxic and allowed the holidays to pass without thinking of mr while he basked in the sun doing god knows what , but now home and sends thus bull**** breadcrumb , his numbers have Been blocked but he always finds a way , he's not done , I know it ... I'm still weak but I haven't given in and will not , I'm so hurt and scared by this it's truly traumatic. To me I see. A pattern of multiple dumpings by him... and you broke that by dumping HIM. I think it's an ego thing. His ego took a beating. My ex did the same. Threatened to dump me, dumped me, then I begged and he took me back, and then I dumped him.. And a week later, he contacted me... ego thing, for sure. When he initiated the second break-up, though (which seems final), he did not contact me. It's been 2 weeks and not a single word from him. I think for people like our exes, dumping is a means of control/blackmail and by dumping THEM, we checkmated them at their own game. 1
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