Skippy89 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Hello All, I am new to this forum, and would appreciate any help I can get. Guys, I'm sure there are times when you ask a woman out and she originally says no, but some time after says yes. Please share your stories. Yesterday I asked out a woman at work. Yes, I know the whole shouldn't date co-workers thing, but I work in retail, so I'm assuming that isn't as bad as if I was in an office type business. We've been working together for about 5 months and we are friends. I would have asked her out a few months ago but it was really busy with the holiday season. I've tried to notice signs if she liked me or not, and I couldn't really tell. So yesterday I asked her out to dinner. I asked her, she smiled at me, and just said no. She didn't say why, and I didn't feel right asking why. I don't know if it's because she just doesn't like me in that way, or she doesn't want to because we work together, or she just thinks of me as a friend, or some other reason. I'm trying to decide if I should try again down the road or not. Which is why I am asking for your stories and advice. Thanks!
Phoe Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 It's hard to tell what her reasons are for saying no, but I will give you this... I'm the GIRL who got pursued (for years might I add) and continually friendzoned the guy. He never gave up on me... and somehow, someway, feelings for him snuck up on me, very slowly. I can't even pinpoint when it happened. We are not currently in a relationship because that is just not in the cards for us right now... but maybe someday. But I must think that perhaps me developing feelings after initially rejecting him would be the exception to the rule. But yes... it happened
Phoe Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Not to mention, I do not recommend holding out for so long. I know it hurt him to be rejected for so many years... it's a lot of pain to go through But he never got upset with me. Never questioned me. Always was accepting of my choice
TheZebra Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Many years ago my cousin was pursued relentlessly by this guy in the gym. He would ask her out all the time and she would always say no. One day she decided to give him a chance and they had a great time. They dated for a while. Later she found out he was kinda crazy/clingy so obv it didn't work out, but hey, worked for him. Never happened to me though. If a guy keeps asking me out after I've said no, I'll assume he's crazy and my feelings will only get worse. If I reject a date with you, the best thing you can do is to stop contacting me. If I suddenly become interested, you will know. All women are different.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 That's how it goes for me about half the time. They say no, their not into that / I'm not their type. Then latter they come around looking for what I have to offer. On a more general outlook, yes this happens. A famous example would be that of Pierre Currie who had to ask his more famous wife to marry him three times over the course of a year.
Author Skippy89 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 I'm confused because she smiled at me before she said no, which is why I'm wondering if she said no for another reason other than she doesn't like me.
jcrew11 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Well, if she's pretty then she probably has a boyfriend or some other FWB that she likes better than you. You could have "buttered her up" instead of surprising her by asking her to a "group event" like a party or group dinner with your friends. That way you get some face time outside of work, and can get to know her better. I feel like for myself and other guys, they get rejected because they don't build up enough attraction or seduction before asking the girl out, so the guy gets rejected because she just doesn't see you as attractive. You have to lay the groundwork and build up the flirtation before asking her out. You might be able to get a "Pity sex hookup" if you get really depressed and she starts feeling bad for you. But you could play the "Long game" and have her come back to you in 1-2 years, after she is dumped and cheated on by her future boyfriends, so she'll come crawling back to the loyal monogamous nice stalker guy.
jcrew11 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I'm confused because she smiled at me before she said no, which is why I'm wondering if she said no for another reason other than she doesn't like me. Maybe she just doesn't want to date guys at work; and doesn't work to get a reputation as the work slut, if other people were around and heard you. You should have just texted her and gotten her cell number.
somedude81 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I have a 100% failure rate with women who initially said no. Once I pursued a woman for two years trying to win her over. She now refuses to speak to me and we've had zero contact for the past year.
CptSaveAho Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) It's hard to tell what her reasons are for saying no, but I will give you this... I'm the GIRL who got pursued (for years might I add) and continually friendzoned the guy. He never gave up on me... and somehow, someway, feelings for him snuck up on me, very slowly. I can't even pinpoint when it happened. We are not currently in a relationship because that is just not in the cards for us right now... but maybe someday. But I must think that perhaps me developing feelings after initially rejecting him would be the exception to the rule. But yes... it happened LOL................... Continue to string the poor guy along Guys are idiots /facepalm OP take no for No and don't try to read into it anymore then that. I asked a girl out and she said no initially and i disappeared for a few weeks and then she comes back and says we should date.. it was the worst 1.5 year relationship I have ever had. I went the friends route on this one too in the beginning... Edited January 7, 2013 by CptSaveAho
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