How do you act when you're trying to be friends with an ex?

[supergirl79]

I've posted a few times in here, but have something that's bothering me. I've never been able to be friends with an ex and recently my bf and i broke up - so now he's the dreaded ex. I love him dearly, but it was definitely one-sided in that aspect. I know he cares about me and if anything, I'd like to remain friends with him - but am not sure how to detach from the love I still have for him? I guess I just don't know since I've never been able to be friends with exes in the past. I'd really like to try this time and i"m honestly not sure how to act. I mean, I feel like when I want to call and say hi casually that I can't, and feel like I need to wait for a longer period of time. Can anyone help me to be more of a friend to him and explain how you can act as a friend when we're both still attracted to each other but it's just not working right now? This may sound like a dumb question, but all instincts I have on this matter are non-existent....

[supermom]

You can only really be friends once the relationship emotions are over. I am friends w/ my ex H only after I stopped loving him like that.

 

If you try to become friends too soon eventually you'll have an argument about the past and it will blow up in your face.

 

Wait until you're over him.

 

Good luck

[Nemmy]

Frienship is also a two-way street. He'll have to make an equal effort to remain friends with you otherwise there will be an imbalance. Your feelings will be hurt all over again at losing a possible friend if you don't let him do his part.

 

You're right not to call him. It sounds like you're not nearly ready to move on yourself. Until you are you're not doing either of you any favours by trying to fake a friendship.

[supergirl79]

Thanks for you advice. I think secretly I was hoping that if I kept in touch with him now that he wouldn't move on and find someone else - as long as I kept answering his calls and hanging out with him every once in awhile. But it makes sense what you're saying about giving it time, it's actually been pretty ackward when we hang out because we're not sure what to do with each other or how to act. When I see him I miss him dearly and want to take it all back and just go back to where we were, but I know that I made my decision for a reason and need to stick to it. It's so hard, and I'm sad....I hope this blows over soon!