wise Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 (edited) Hi guys! Me and my girlfriend were together for 3,5 years. She dumped me 4 months ago. First she said that she needs a break for some time and she will see if she will miss me. That we met and she cried and said »What I should do? «. I said that I do not know. She said that she is also scared that she won`t find that nice guy as I am. She also said before that that I should be more of a man and that I should have maybe few more kg. So we were on »pause«. Then she said after 1 week that it is over that she is now happier. First I made mistakes and try to work things out with her but she was very rude to me. I decide not to contact her anymore and after a while she started to contact me. She called me like 14 days after breakup and start to talk to me and said that if we would live together that we wouldn’t breakup and stuff. And that now it is what it is. She said that maybe in future we will be together again. We were on lunch once after break up and I asked her if she ever missed me and she said that she had 2 or 3 times in one month. She said that she missed me and thought how was with me, that now she have nobody to be with and because of that she called me and when she heard me, she changed her mind because she said that I was so passive when she heard me and that she need someone more active. After a while she posted a lot of sad love song on Facebook and she also typed some lyrics from this songs. This was something new because I have never before spotted that kind of behaviour from her on Facebook. She still has all of our pics on Facebook but only I can see pics that I am on with her. She made this on purpose. In this 4 month period we were also together on drink but she said to me that we are over, that we won`t be together again. One week ago or something like that she called me and we chat again for like 25 min. She asked me if I already have any girlfriend and I said that this is not her business and she said why not? We are classmates and also friends. I said that I have female friend and she was interested how old is she and what’s her name and I we are having sex. From all of that I only said that she is my friend and her age. Then she still tried to get her name but I said that it`s not her business. After that I said to my her(my ex) that I don`t know if I want to be her(my ex) friend and she was very shocked, she started to ask why and stuff and I said that I don`t know and she said that that is fine, that we won`t talk anymore if so. 3 or 4 days passed and she sent me a message »Are we good? « I did not answer for a while but then after 2 days I sent that in is ok. After that fight she also blocked me on Facebook so I can`t see any albums, tagged pics, posts or data from her anymore. But I predict that she didn`t delete any of pics or album of us because I can see the number of albums is still the same. Recently she posted few sad love songs and after that one quote and song (Brand New Me) that I could saw. Quote was: »Never regret anything in your life because at one time it was exactly what you want! «. After one day she made this quote invisible to me again. All this songs recently posted from her were invisible to me except last one (Brand New Me). I saw all recently posted songs from other Facebook profile. Her friend said to me that she still has our big picture in her room and that she asked her (my ex) when she will take it off. She said that she will. Her friend said that she thinks that my ex is probably still thinking to be with me maybe one day in future. I must also tell that after the breakup she started to party a lot, drink, and hangout with people that she did not like before. As far as I know she is not in relationship but she was with guys for one night when she went out to party. She recently said to me that she do not want a boyfriend because she had boyfriend for so long and that she don`t have time for that. But she said to me that she will have it one day and that we still can be friend and go to lunch. Her parent liked me and they were shocked when she left me. They said to her that she won`t find that kind of guy anymore, that I loved her so much and it is true. I really don`t know what is the case here, but is it possible that she has GIGS? Edited January 6, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs
Keenly Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 It's more than likely she is just being youthful and stupid. Let her go man. You don't want that kind of drama. Find some one who you don't have to convince yourself of.
Author wise Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 I forgot to mention that she is 23 years old. And I know I should move but I am also curious what was wrong because we had nice relationship, we did fight from time to time but this is normal I think.
Hopeful714 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I heard this on TV today: GIGS= thinking the grass is greener elsewhere means you need to water your own yard. GIGS= thinking the grass is greener next door because you can't see the "sh*t" hiding in that lawn.
Author wise Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 I know what GIGS ("Grass is greener syndrome") is. I just want to know what is your opinion, if this could be this "syndrome"?
CptSaveAho Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I heard this on TV today: GIGS= thinking the grass is greener elsewhere means you need to water your own yard. GIGS= thinking the grass is greener next door because you can't see the "sh*t" hiding in that lawn. Both are true
mutant Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I don't agree with this GIGS ideology; that if an ex left you it could be down to a syndrome or whatever. You don't need to "understand" your ex after she has dumped you probably for another guy. So far, She has been rude and callous; you don't want to be in a R with such a girl. It's time tto evaluate the mistakes you made in this R and work toward being a better person in your next R. My advice go NC and work towards being a better person.
LduKaZ Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 This doesn't sound like GIGS to me man. In GIGS the person doesnt know what she wants, or is looking to replace someone with someone new. But this girl you're talking about sounds like a crazy. She sounds like she enjoys hurting you, and that my friend you should not accept!! You are a MAN, they might hurt your heart but never your dignity!. Tell her to have a happy life, delete her number and FB, and move on. Dont ever let a girl mock you!
Author wise Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 (edited) She still contacts me almost everyday. She contacts me about school stuff (we are classmates) and also other casual stuff. Today she asked me if I want to go on holidays with her and one more couple. We see each other also in class and when we are learning at school. We are actually prepare for exams together. But last day she let me know almost directly that we are just friends. I do not know what to do, I still love her . I want to be more than just a friend to her. It is hard to look on her only as a friend after being together for almost 4 years. What do you think, is it possible to get her back? Do you think if I text her that I can`t be just a friends with her and cut her off, that she will start to miss me? I think she now has her cake and she eat it to, she is fine with how we are now. Edited January 29, 2013 by wise
iouaname Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 There's no guarantee that cutting her off is going to make her miss you enough to reconsider her decision, but it seems like staying in contact and being friends is making you miserable. So maybe you need to stop contacting her and give yourself some space?
flitzanu Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 you can call it whatever you want, but all it means is that she wanted to pursue other things in life and end the relationship with you. "break" = breakup. "She said that she is also scared that she won`t find that nice guy as I am" = that's basically saying she is looking to find another guy.
Author wise Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 One of her friends said to me recently that my ex said to her: "I know I won`t find such a good/nice guy anymore". I am a little bit confused because now I don`t know why she dumped me. Do you think that there is still chance that she will come back?
FailedFirstLove Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 There is. But u shouldn't be waiting for that.... She will come back wen she realizes she can't find anything better. But you know you can...
pies Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 One of her friends said to me recently that my ex said to her: "I know I won`t find such a good/nice guy anymore". I am a little bit confused because now I don`t know why she dumped me. Do you think that there is still chance that she will come back? There isn't. As a girl, let me tell you that if she wanted you she would return to you. She doesn't want you, she just misses having a boyfriend, as harsh as it sounds. Please, do yourself a favor and remove her from your life. She is definitely not worth it, not just because she's a little lunatic with the childish behaviour, but because you are wasting a precious time of your life waiting around for someone like that. Best of luck
Author wise Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 There isn't. As a girl, let me tell you that if she wanted you she would return to you. She doesn't want you, she just misses having a boyfriend, as harsh as it sounds. Please, do yourself a favor and remove her from your life. She is definitely not worth it, not just because she's a little lunatic with the childish behaviour, but because you are wasting a precious time of your life waiting around for someone like that. Best of luck I still care about her and miss her. Why she said that she know that she won`t find such a good guy anymore? I think this is some kind of regret and she is to proud to admit that she ****ed up a little. If she just misses having a boyfriend than she would say it that way, I think.
meeji Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 It seems like she really wanted the breakup. It sounds like she wanted to experiment with other guys or experience freedom and being single. Of course a part of her misses you and missed what you had together but I think she's just transitioning from being taken to being single. You shouldn't hang on the hope of getting back together. If you guys do, she will probably leave you again when something "better," comes along.
flitzanu Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 One of her friends said to me recently that my ex said to her: "I know I won`t find such a good/nice guy anymore". I am a little bit confused because now I don`t know why she dumped me. Do you think that there is still chance that she will come back? you do know why she dumped you, she didn't want to be with you and wanted to pursue other things, hence, "the break". that's your reason.
Author wise Posted February 7, 2013 Author Posted February 7, 2013 you do know why she dumped you, she didn't want to be with you and wanted to pursue other things, hence, "the break". that's your reason. That is true, because she thought that she will find someone better. She wouldn`t left me if she thought that I am the best guy for her. But know she said that she won`t find such a good guy anymore. I assume she regrets her decision a little bit. What do you think? Her friend said to me that she is sure if I will be with other girl, my ex will be jelouse.
cavalier99 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 DUDE. What are you doing? It is 4 month since BU. You are never going to recover if you don't go hard core NC. It is time to move on. You can string yourself along like this forever. IT IS OVER. AND YOU CANT BE FRIENDS WITH HER... OR ANY OF HER FRIENDS. Ok? This is survival time. Do you want to get better? She is gone. You need to worry about your recovery now. Time to take action. She doesn't exist in your world any more. Block her on EVERYTHING and stay NC...unless you like a perpetual state of misery. Cav
flitzanu Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 That is true, because she thought that she will find someone better. She wouldn`t left me if she thought that I am the best guy for her. But know she said that she won`t find such a good guy anymore. I assume she regrets her decision a little bit. What do you think? Her friend said to me that she is sure if I will be with other girl, my ex will be jelouse. my ex said the same thing, and said i'm the only person she ever wanted to marry. guess what? i'm still single and she never got back together with me. it's all just words dude. if she wanted to be with you, she would be with you. she isn't choosing to be with you.
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