Louda_09 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 So i have been talking to this guy for about a month, but on our second "date" we started taking things really really fast. I dont mean sexually, but physically he wld hold my hand, when we wld watch movies with our friends at his place he had no problem showing affection by holdin my hand or giving me a slight kiss on the forehead. He would even rest his head on my chest. Anyway, one night he picked my up from my house and we went out to eat everything was fine, on the way back to drop me off, we started talking about if the other person was seeing/talking to other ppl, he said i was the only one, but that he wanted to take thing slow.... I wanted to reply with "we'r totally past taking things slow, i mean were freaking acting like a couple that has been together for years." But i didnt, instead i replied with an okay cool and said i wasnt seeing anyone else either. Well things were going ok, but another night we brought up the "exclusive" topic once more and he again said lets take it slow.... I at this point was getting frustrated with everything because here i am putting my time and my effort to see him. But i have never pressured him into like date me or anything like that, but at the beginning of whatever this was, he made it sound like he really wanted to date me and be with me. Even his best friend whom im really good friends with told me "yall will probly date (like be bf/gf)." I would make the effort to go see him when i could, yet whenever i told him he needed to come to my place because i had things to do with school or just because i was tired going to him instead of him coming to me, he would say "maybe" and then not come or just not text me back.... So things are rocky now i havent talked to him in almost two days and havent seen him in about a week. Im not texting him first bc he needs to make the effort and bc i know hes a busy guy with his personal training career and living on his own, trying to make his career fly. But i think its not going anywhere because its been a month and were still doing the same things and saying the same things... So i have a feeling the next time we talk, were going to end things.
Author Louda_09 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 It make me sad bc i thought he was different and its like he led me on knowing it wasnt going to go anywhere.... But looking at wverything now, i think he just wanted a "friend with benefits" thing if you now what i mean... What if im wrong? What do i do??
Star Gazer Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Even his best friend whom im really good friends with told me "yall will probly date (like be bf/gf)." Did he actually say BF/GF, or is that how you interpreted "date"? So things are rocky now i havent talked to him in almost two days and havent seen him in about a week. Im not texting him first bc he needs to make the effort and bc i know hes a busy guy with his personal training career and living on his own, trying to make his career fly. But i think its not going anywhere because its been a month and were still doing the same things and saying the same things... So i have a feeling the next time we talk, were going to end things. If it's rocky after a month, it's best to cut your losses and move on. However, FWIW... I wouldn't expect to be a couple after only a month either, and would be freaked out if someone pressed me for it.
Keenly Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 You are not really making sense to me. You think holding hands on the second date means you are not taking it slow? Taking it slow means not getting too physical early on, spreading out your dates, taking more time to do the milestones to make sure that this is what you want. Explain to me how him showing you affection voids taking it slow? 2
Treasa Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Acting like a married couple means figuring out what kind of car you're going to purchase, or how things will work around the house when one of you has to have surgery, not holding hands. LOL I don't see any problems with taking it slow. I don't see a problem with holding hands with someone I'm casually dating, either. Now, if he does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, by all means do something about it. But you're reading too much into this, I think.
Casablanca Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 However, FWIW... I wouldn't expect to be a couple after only a month either, and would be freaked out if someone pressed me for it. This is true, but you can still agree to be "exclusive" and take it slow and not be a couple.
soccerrprp Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 This is true, but you can still agree to be "exclusive" and take it slow and not be a couple. Huh? You can be exclusive and not be a couple? Please explain this? In my mind, once you've agreed to be exclusive are you not saying, "we're a couple"? If I'm missing something here, please educate me before I ask my current friend in the future to be exclusive, but that doesn't mean that we're a couple or a she's not my gf or something.....
Casablanca Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Huh? You can be exclusive and not be a couple? Please explain this? In my mind, once you've agreed to be exclusive are you not saying, "we're a couple"? If I'm missing something here, please educate me before I ask my current friend in the future to be exclusive, but that doesn't mean that we're a couple or a she's not my gf or something..... I use the world "exclusive" litely, but I've done this before where we agreed we only wanted to focus on seeing each other, but we're not ready to put any labels on it yet because we were still getting to know each other. Most often I agree with you, but I've done it before the way I described.
edgygirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 we only wanted to focus on seeing each other, but we're not ready to put any labels on it yet because we were still getting to know each other. I've done it too but honestly it means that one doesn't have their heart really in the relationship. It's not that fair to the other person and I don't think I'd do it again. Someone always gets hurt. 1
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