Fannie57 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I'm pretty much the LAST person I ever thought would be involved in a cyber relationship. The story is almost so clique it hurts. Boy from high school. Didn't really know him. Reconnected on a social media network. Started chatting, laughing, talking about the good old days. I posted a picture of myself in a small group and he starts flirting. He's married. I'm pretty happily married, although there have been real holes in my marriage. My husband is not fully engaged in our marriage. In retrospect, I can see that he never was, and I've always known it. He was a widower. I think I reminded him of his late wife. I overlooked signs, jumped in, married the guy. I've had my foot out the door for 14 years, more or less. We've had a good time. We're friends, but sex has been lacking. We've had a few years of good physical intimacy, but my husband is 15 years old, in his 70's now, and my sex life is over. I'm not ready for that, but he's not interested. We've rarely talked about it, but he is a man who has lived his whole life in denial about so many things, and we don't talk. We don't have any real emotionaly intimacy, and in five years no physical intimacy. So I guess we don't have a very good foundation. Flash forward to a guy from high school messaging me on Facebook. Talking about lots of topics, all interspersed with sexually suggestive remarks, plus a lot of what ifs. What if we had connected when we were both single and frequenting the same club? What if we had connected in high school? He's smitten. I'm smitten. We message late into the night most nights. We exchanged messages most days several times throughout the day. We have talked on the phone once. He claims he has a sexless marriage, but I wonder. He's just so hot to trot, I can't believe he'd tolerate that, but he claims his wife has healthy issues. He's very private on Facebook. Doesn't post much. Claims he doesn't care about Facebook. He has thousands of friends, whom he claims are from one of the games that he only played a few weeks. He says the only reason he's on Facebook at all is to talk to me. I suspect he's chatting with other women, although he claims not. I don't get it. I don't understand why a man who claims to be married to his best friend would be talking to me online. He's married less than 10 years. No kids. She has a grown daughter who needs a lot. Husband doesn't work. He supports his wife, her daughter, contributes to the daughter's family. He's retired. Big flirt. Likes to laugh and drink with his buddies. Have a good time. I understand what's in it for me. I'm longing for more out of life, but I will never leave my 70 something sick husband. I'm longing for the touch of a man, I guess to the point that I let my head be turned by some guy online. I have a couple of good friends who know what's going one. One says to just have fun, that it's been good for me. And I have to say I feel more alive than I have in 10 years. My retired husband makes me crazy with his control and lack of real interest in me. We have one car, so I'm limited to how much I can come and go. He says he could do hard time, because he doesn't care about going. I'm 55 and feel like I'm dying on the vine. I know why I'm doing this. On the flip side, I have another friend who says, "I know you think you've got this, that you have your eyes wide open, but you are going to get hurt." I don't think she's right. I think I'm emotionally attached to the guy, and I kind've think the guy is toying with me. He says he's got two shoulders anytime I need them. He says we're dear friends. He says a lot of pretty stuff, but doesn't friends mean you can pick up the phone? Doesn't friends mean your relationship is not a secret? I mean I feel like I can be a good friend to him to an extent. I think that disappointment is inevitable. It will eventually fizzle, and I'll be hurt, but I've survived my mom's murder, two divorces and more than my share of romantic heartbreak, including this marriage that I would describe as concerned roommates. Right now, I guess I think it's worth the risk to feel good about myself and to feel like a woman again. I'm a tough girl. I just don't understand what's in it for him, unless he's being sincere and really does just want from the friendship what I want.
ThatJustHappened Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Sorry but I don't really see a question in that post. What are you looking for exactly? Not trying to be rude..just wondering. Because honestly, I don't really know what to say, and considering the conspicuous lack of other replies, I don't think I'm the only one. I'd like to help you if I can but I'm not sure what you need..
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