londonlad Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Hello all, I'm new to this forum. I've come hear to see if I can get a female perspective on something. I recently met a girl online. I know loads about fitness/sports and I offered to train her half joking. She took up my offer. We met I trained her for an 1hr and half. We got on well all was good. But during the session I got the silly idea in my head she wanted me to take her home. She was flirting with me about finding some way to pay me other than money. Anyway after we parted my mind starting turning and I rang her up asking if she wanted me to turn around and come home with her for a massage. I know cringe . I have no idea why I did it, it was very silly. My question is, if I call her in a week and apologize admit my mistake in a calm relaxed way. Tell her that I think she is cool and I would like to get to know her properly and it would be a shame to let one bit of stupidity spoil a possible relationship between us. And that if she didn't want to see me again I'd understand. Do you think she'd give me another shot ladies?
MsSmurf Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Hello all, I'm new to this forum. I've come hear to see if I can get a female perspective on something. I recently met a girl online. I know loads about fitness/sports and I offered to train her half joking. She took up my offer. We met I trained her for an 1hr and half. We got on well all was good. But during the session I got the silly idea in my head she wanted me to take her home. She was flirting with me about finding some way to pay me other than money. Anyway after we parted my mind starting turning and I rang her up asking if she wanted me to turn around and come home with her for a massage. I know cringe . I have no idea why I did it, it was very silly. My question is, if I call her in a week and apologize admit my mistake in a calm relaxed way. Tell her that I think she is cool and I would like to get to know her properly and it would be a shame to let one bit of stupidity spoil a possible relationship between us. And that if she didn't want to see me again I'd understand. Do you think she'd give me another shot ladies? If you want anyone to advise you here then you need to fill us in on how she responded to your massage suggestion. Did she scream at you and hang up? Did she laugh it off and change the subject? Did you say this on her voicemail? We're missing a big piece of the puzzle here.
veggirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 oh yeah that def prob came off as really creepy. your best bet is to FORGET IT HAPPENED. do NOT mention it again, do not bring it up, do not apologize. it's over and done, and yes it was creepy and dumb to say but its not the end of the world. why would you want to REMIND her of that incident? so no don't call and apologize. call and ask her on a date. 1
Keenly Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Just play it off as a joke, if it comes up again just say it sounded a lot funnier in your head and then as it came out it just sounded weird. Playfully acknowledge it. 2
FitChick Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Timing is everything. If you had immediately replied, "Oooh, a massage would be nice" she would have exposed her true intentions, either laughing and countering with something like "I was thinking more along the lines of Jamba Juice and a protein bar" or "Let's go to my place now!" Ask her out. You have nothing to lose at this point.
Author londonlad Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 If you want anyone to advise you here then you need to fill us in on how she responded to your massage suggestion. Did she scream at you and hang up? Did she laugh it off and change the subject? Did you say this on her voicemail? We're missing a big piece of the puzzle here. Well while I was training her she said "I feel like I should be paying you, is there anything I can do for you *giggle, sounds really bad" So on the phone I asked he if that was a "come on" After I suggest the massage thing. She said "oh is that what it sounded like?". Then that she was busy and had to get something done that afternoon, I asked if she was sure she said yes. I tried to make a little small talk which must of sounded super lame. Then we said bye. I could tell by the tone of the "bye" she was not impressed.
sid3 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Well while I was training her she said "I feel like I should be paying you, is there anything I can do for you *giggle, sounds really bad" So on the phone I asked he if that was a "come on" After I suggest the massage thing. She said "oh is that what it sounded like?". Then that she was busy and had to get something done that afternoon, I asked if she was sure she said yes. I tried to make a little small talk which must of sounded super lame. Then we said bye. I could tell by the tone of the "bye" she was not impressed. Trust your gut feeling. I'm pretty sure you creeped her out too.
Author londonlad Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Trust your gut feeling. I'm pretty sure you creeped her out too. Yeah I know I did, that's not the point. I'm looking for some advice how to proceed from a girl's point of view.
sid3 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Yeah I know I did, that's not the point. I'm looking for some advice how to proceed from a girl's point of view. I'm sorry, you surely don't need me reminding you about that. Good luck turning it around. I think it can be done.
MsSmurf Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Well while I was training her she said "I feel like I should be paying you, is there anything I can do for you *giggle, sounds really bad" So on the phone I asked he if that was a "come on" After I suggest the massage thing. She said "oh is that what it sounded like?". Then that she was busy and had to get something done that afternoon, I asked if she was sure she said yes. I tried to make a little small talk which must of sounded super lame. Then we said bye. I could tell by the tone of the "bye" she was not impressed. Then she probably didn't intend for you to interpret what she said suggestively. Maybe in her mind she was thinking of baking you cookies or walking your dog, then you tell her it sounded like a come on and she was embarrassed and that wasn't what she wanted. Since you then mentioned the massage that made it clear that's what you wanted and then she was creeped out. No wonder she said she was busy and tried to rush you off the phone. I don't think there is anything you can do here but chalk it up to a loss and leave her alone. She's embarrassed and creeped out and it is unlikely she'll get past that. Continuing to pursue her will just make you seem even creepier.
2sure Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Just pretend it didn't happen. Call her and invite her to do something entirely different, see how she responds to that. It's your only shot. 1
nds522 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 If I was joking around like that when a guy was doing something like personal training with me, I'd kind of expect him to think I meant sex...then again, guys tend to take everything I say sexually lol I agree it depends on how she responded. However, if she really likes you and she *was* offended she may overlook it as just a joke if you ask her on an actual real date. I wouldn't bring it up again but make sure she knows you want to ask her on a real date, and then be on your best non-creepy behavior I'd only apologize in a joking manner if she seemed offended, and then change the subject to a real date. I tend to overlook these kind of jokes by guys because almost EVERY guy does it with me...but then again, that's probably why I get treated like crap (not saying you were going to treat her badly, just has been my experience with guys who joke like that right away) 1
todreaminblue Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Well while I was training her she said "I feel like I should be paying you, is there anything I can do for you *giggle, sounds really bad" So on the phone I asked he if that was a "come on" After I suggest the massage thing. She said "oh is that what it sounded like?". Then that she was busy and had to get something done that afternoon, I asked if she was sure she said yes. I tried to make a little small talk which must of sounded super lame. Then we said bye. I could tell by the tone of the "bye" she was not impressed. she did make a flirty comment...first thing i thought of when i read it was sex ....and if she meant cookies she should have said so instead of giggling......liek what can i do besides money..... giggle make you some cookies let you lick the beater.....giggle cook you dinner naked....giggle........still seems sexual to me like rolling around in cookie batter...not that i have done that....im shutting up.....ok......implied sex with her comments mine was just obvious.......so ask her out......she might have realized that her comment could have been interpreted as a come on...if she has a brain she will and give you a chance to make it up....best wishes....deb
Author londonlad Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 Cheers for the advice guys. Let's hope I didn't creep her out beyond forgiveness
newmoon Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 doesn't sound like she's a quality girl anyway - meeting up with some guy from the internet for free body training and flirting asap with him? i doubt you offended her morals...
Maneater Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I think you have potential to turn it around. I mean it sounds like she was heavily flirting with you.
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