Beersdawg Posted August 18, 2004 Posted August 18, 2004 I started dating this girl about 2 months after she had gotten out of a 2 year relationship. He dated for about 3 months and things were progressing pretty well ( or atleast I thought so). We started dating during the summer and spent a lot of time together, however, she is a school teacher and once she went back to school we were only seeing each other on the weekends. She is also training for a marathon. Well, she always seemed to busy to spend any time with me other than the weekends. I told her that I would like to see her some during the week. We only live 15 minutes from one another and plus she runs with a girl that lives in my neighborhood. I work and have hobbies but because I like her a lot I would make the effort to see her as often I as could but she would not. Anyways, she told me two nights ago that all she could offer me was the weekends and I would just have to deal with that. I said I didn't want to because I wanted someone who would make an effort to see me. I told her I understood she is busy and I support her in work and her marathon but that I would like to be a priority in her life as well. This only seems fair because I made her a priority in my life. Well, she said she wanted to cool things off for a while. Anyways, to make a long story short, we haven't talked in two days. I am of the opinion that if you like someone enough you make the effort to see that person. What do you guys think? Am I expecting too much too soon? Is this worth ending?
EIN Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 Beersdawg, you are not expecting too much from her but however you are fast fowarding this relationship. Take into consideration that she just got out of a 2 year relationship. There might be lingering things of that past that hinders her from being fully committed to see you as you want. Take note that you guys are 15 mins apart so you're bound to run into each other in the streets or something. The feelings you have of going out of your way to see her is admirable but dont go out of your way everyday to want to see her. This sends a freaky message to her. She is training for the marathon. Thats good and marathons only happens once a year. Support her on it to show that you are part of the relationship not leading it and after, she can spend time with you. The key is to give her space that she feels comfortable enough to allow you into more of her activities during the week. At least you know the 5 days she don't see you, she'll be working and training. Dont put much emphasis into this and give this relationship more time to cultivate.
EIN Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 Yes, beersdawg, call her. Keep the conversation in a social pattern. Dont start changing the subject to setting priorities or seeing if she is committing to see you often. Her response will give you a good indication whether she likes to pursue this relationship. If she gives you one or two word responses, she is telling you to bug off. If however, you guys can have a really good talk, then thats progress and leave it at that until you guys see each other in the weekends. Good Luck.
Beersdawg Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 These are the thoughts running through my head right now. 1. I told her I wanted to see her some during the week as well as the weekend or I was not going to continue this relationship. My question is this, if I don't stand my ground then I would look weak. I know women don't want a weak man. Right? 2. Because I said what I said on Monday and have not called since, have I let it go too far where she might say she doesn't want to see me at all? I don't think she would say because we are very compatible and have a great time together. Also, we have been sleeping together and she is not the type of person that would do that unless she really liked me. Please give me feed back.
EIN Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 beersdawg, you got it all wrong. The more you keep pulling, the more they run away. What is this about being a man and standing your ground. All because you want her to see you more. With that attitude, I wonder how you react if she just talks to another guy and tells you that they are only friends. Fact is you don't really know a person until you know. Your assumptions is clouding your judgments. Just because you both slepted together does not mean that you are an item now. The only rights you both have is if to see if you can build on this relationship. Beer, you are stressing this issue about seeing her for only 2 days. Some people's schedule are like that. If you really find it too hard to adjust to that situation, decide whether you want to remain or start looking again for a girl who will see you in the weekdays as well. Good Luck
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