na49 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 So since I've joined this website I've pretty much lived in the Break Up forums trying to get over my first love who dumped me three months ago. I haven't been able to go a day without thinking of her since. and have found that I'm having a hard time being satisfied with my single life. I'm 18 and finished my first semester of college. Everyone says to enjoy being single because I'm still young, I am just having a hard time doing it. My confidence is gone, and I don't see myself ever finding someone else to love. I also have a problem with how shy I can be at times which keeps me from meeting people. I have good days where I'll talk to anyone and other days I just don't feel confident and am afraid those people will judge me. Besides going to the gym, are there any ways for me to feel better about me? I hate feeling this way all the time.
coffeebean201 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 How about some interests in your community, some projects to work on? Those tend to attract good people.
TaraMaiden Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I just posted this in another person's thread: Sometimes, we focus so much on what we don't have, that wanting it seems the most natural thing in the world. (It then becomes an obsession.) My cousin is firmly celibate and refuses to let a man into her life. She's hetero, but frankly feels the whole relationship thing is too much like hard work, too multi-layered and as she says - "I'm selfish about my time. I have no idea how long I have - so why should I waste it making allowances for the foibles and complications of a relationship, when I can get more satisfaction from playing to my own agenda?" She's one of the most liberated people I know...... And enviably multi-talented and intelligent. When you look at all the relationship matters on this forum, it's a wonder people get together at all - and to be honest with you - I frankly envy her a little...... She's found a great job she really loves, which involves travel.... but she worked hard to get her qualifications to be able to do it, and she had few distractions while studying, because she steered clear of relationships, serious or otherwise.... she has her own money, spends it the way she wants, lives where she wants and how she wants, and has developed some remarkable skills due to pursuing several fascinating hobbies - all unhindered by the needs of a SO. She really is complete Mistress of her own fate. Independent, serious, sociable and completely free to accept dinner invitations, or not. as she so wishes. Her 'family time' is entirely by her own choice. She let all her immediate family know this Christmas, that she would not be attending the family lunch, as she had decided to go to Vienna for the Holidays. She had a wonderful time.... and they were absolutely fine about it.... 1
Author na49 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 I hope to join some clubs once I go back to school. I could even use confidence to talk to people in my classes at times. I hate how I was satisfied being single before being in a relationship. Now that I'm not in one, I feel like I'm empty and that I'm missing something. Walking around seeing couples together used to make me feel great (when I was in one) now I see them and just feel depressed.
TouchedByViolet Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Try to focus on the positive sides. You are still in college and surrounded by women for the next few years to come. There are lots of women to meet and who have potential for relationship material. Just try to put yourself out there as much as possible, stay busy and eventually you will find a great catch.
Author na49 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 Try to focus on the positive sides. You are still in college and surrounded by women for the next few years to come. There are lots of women to meet and who have potential for relationship material. Just try to put yourself out there as much as possible, stay busy and eventually you will find a great catch. You're right. There's no way that there's not ONE person on the campus these next four years that I won't be able to relate to. Even as a good friend, that's really what I need right now. I missed out on an opportunity to meet a lot of great people my first semester because I was comfortable with having my ex as my best friend and if I had her and a few other friends I would be satisfied. Well now she's gone and I've got no one. I never thought I'd want to go back to school, but I actually do in a way lol.
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