she realy cares but wont let me in

[nirvana66]

Ok, I dated this girl three years ago, we worked together, everything was perfect I have never felt a connection like this with anyone we were so in love for those three months. It ended out of the blue one day with a phone call telling me it just wasent working and nothing more.it ended mostly because she returned to university for a year. But the times she came back to work with me in the holidays I could just see pain hurt and lostness in here eyes, she still loves me.

The following summer we met up at a party, still looking hurt and me to we couldn't hold a convosathion without one of us welling up. Anyway that night we got a little tipsy and she began to explain her self, she told me she was scared to get Cole, scared to hurt me/herself, and that I was the only man she's ever wanted to be with, it was pain full, and I pushed her away by saying I loved her blarr blarr blarr and we dident speak for another year even though we spent most of it working side by side.

There has been a couple of ocashions since then of about there weeks where we have text n text n got so close ending with a drunken kiss, at that point in days after I hear we never gonna work and I get pushed away.

Again months go by then all through December we were getting on like never befor, ending in a kiss on New year, which as normal she denies all knoll of and has been so distant ever since, she runs away, normally I freak out at her and try to tell her she loves ne etc, I want this time to be different help!.

It doesn't help that I am 30 and she is 22, also her friends control her and they think I'm just a pest. Iv dated tones of outhers in this time none of them come close to how I feel for her, help me befor I freak

[RR1]

this situation sounds remarkably similar to my last g/f and i. I had never met anyone that i had more of a connection with but we always seemed to struggle due to miscommunication. I loved her more than anyone i had ever known and i definitely felt she had feelings the same but she always stuggled to articulate those thoughts and feelings into words. My communication was poor as well, i always managed to say the wrong things at the wrong time or say nothing when i needed to say something. We also had the age gap issue to contend with and i know she struggled with that. Thing was i did as well, i'm sure the same thoughts went through my head as went through hers. I was pretty sure she had concerns about investing in something that maybe was not destined to last, so did i. I eventually reasoned that i'd rather regret something i had done rather than something i hadn't, you have the rest of your life to regret stuff but the opportunity might only be there for a certain time, i have learnt to take life's opportunities when they come along, i used to be one of those people that never took the opportunitires when they came along and then regret it later, i'd rather i failed knowng that i tried rather than contemplate failure because i never bothered giving something my all. You have the rest of your life to regret something but the opportunitity might only present itself for a certain period of time. I have learnt to take life's opportunities when they come along because i just know from experience that i shall be regreting this for ever more if i don't. She is like no other individual i have ever met, she's the most intelligent and complex person i have ever met, i had not encountered anyone i had this connection with on such a intuitive level. She is proper beautiful as well, couldn't believe my luck.

 

I remember saying to her that i had waited all my life for her, that was true. And i knew that having waited so long then i may never experience this again with another person, that's why i tried to persuade her that we were worth a try, what we had was too special to waste. I suppose i had the advantage of knowing that such opportunities only come along once in a life time, maybe again if you are lucky but the point is you don't know if they will. That's not to say i didn't get her reservations, i totally got where she was coming from but i had thought that through and i still kept coming back to the fact that i couldn't seem to live without her, life was just lacking in it's most vital element, that special bond that you can only experience with one other person. I understood her concerns, i even said to her once that i can see i was never going to be the most obvious candidate for b/f, yes she was going to have to difficultities taking me home to meet the parents, it wasn't just the age gap issue but a whole different outlook, i was going to be the difficult to justify choice i could see that.

 

In the end i decided to let her know i'm here and waiting for her and leave her to make up her mind without my pressuring her, she needs to be comfortable with and content with her choice so i need to let her weigh up the choice for a bit and then maybe try and talk about it for a bit.

 

Sorry for any typing errors but i'm really tired and the computer keeps doing annoying stuff which is making things difficult, i've typed this three times but the computer scraped the first two, yeah thanks for that.

[nirvana66]

Hey, thanks for replying its an awfully lonely world to be in is spending your life waiting for a gal to make up her mind. We still very close but I freak out if I don't hear from here for a day or two.70% of the time I'm convinced that this is going to be and all my work colleagues are beginning to feel the same. Though every day I still feel she is going to turn around and push me away again, too people should not be this complex, she gets drunk and tells my freinds that I'm all she wants but it's" complicated" wtf .

Staff do in two weeks let's see how that goes, will be the first time we have been friendly enough to do this since we dated.

You still close to this girl?.

Thanks

[RR1]

Well i'll keep my fingers crossed for you and hope that it all works out. Am i still in contact? No afraid not, i was asked to make no further contact and she told me she would be changing her number so i have done as i was asked. As much as it hurts to be told that by someone you were so close to you have to go with their wishes. So i've let go now, she knows how to get hold of me if she wants to and for the sake of my sanity i had to stop there. It all ended up so confusing for me, i just didn't have a clue what i was supposed to be doing anymore. I hope one day that i'll get some contact from her but i can't spend the rest of my life sitting waiting for a call that might never come. She was, with hindsight, right about one thing; we could never be just friends. The feelings were just too strong, we'd have always ended up back where we were emotionally. She was without doubt the most complex and difficult to read person i have ever known. She was also the most interesting and beautiful as well, oh well.

[RebelWithoutACause]

 

convosathion

ocashions

 

 

I love the spelling.

[RR1]

I love the spelling.

 

 

 

Easy to make a typo when you are rushing, also many people suffer from dyslixia.

 

Do you get the feeling that i am trying to stick-up for people with less than perfect spelling? I might be, and i'm also working on my spelling.

[Eddie Edirol]

She is using you for attention, thats why she can walk away so easily. She is carrying a torch for someone else, but he isnt giving her the attention she wants, so she goes to you. Dont let her use you like that. If she really wanted to be with you, she wouldnt find reasons not to, and be this mysterious. Her friends dont control her, the guy she REALLY is into does. And when she left you the first time, it was because of another guy, thats why she had no reason to tell you.