My girlfirend doesn't know when to leave

[Treasa]

if i were his girl, i wouldn't turn down other dates, not after being sent away, told not to be around so much - i'd see a red flag n would quietly plan on going where i'm more appreciated or at least where there's some fun

 

what would you like me (her) to do instead?

stay in, til i get your calls?

 

If it were me, I would continue having the life I have even without a boyfriend. I don't need to see a guy all the time.

[darkmoon]

If it were me, I would continue having the life I have even without a boyfriend. I don't need to see a guy all the time.

 

nor do i hence my view/reaction that there's better fun n appreciation elsewhere, wing spreading time, you could say, dates, yes

[NoMoreJerks]

I have to say, I never really understood why some people need so much space -- if you need so much space, maybe you shouldn't be dating / be in a relationship. Sure, we all need some space, but I am not one to complain if the person I love/care about wants to spend time with me. I'd be flattered, rather than annoyed/upset. A few days a week is nothing. She's not staying there the whole week, is she? Maybe OP should've suggested going to her place and hanging out there at times, but it looks like he's being lazy in the relationship, and she has to drive 2 hours to see him.. where is the effort he's putting into this? And on top of it, he's complaining and wants her to drive up 2 hrs any time he feels like seeing her? Sorry, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. Looks like OP really wants a booty call type situation where he'd call up the girl last minute when he's bored/has no other plans, and she'd drive for 2 hours to see him and entertain him / have sex with him. If I were this girl, I would've dumped his lazy ass . He is taking her for granted, and not only that, he is now complaining about her behaviour, because she wants to spend some time with him without spending enormous amounts of money (and time) to drive back and forth between her place and his.

 

IMO, OP is a commitment-phobe who never really was serious about a relationship with this girl. Sure, everyone needs their space, but this looks like it's about much more than that.

Edited January 9, 2013 by NoMoreJerks

[NoMoreJerks]

I don't think women realize they are taking our time and attention even if they're just sitting there in the other room...it's the fact that they may come in and disrupt our harmonious environment, and they just don't get that.

Eh? I don't get it. So if that is a quite common thing that men feel/experience, how do they intend on living together with their partner, and ultimately marrying her? The married couple would live in different houses?

[melodymatters]

I'm in my mid forties and have had a good amount of relationship experience, enough to know what works for ME.

 

In this case, unless I/she was asking you to entertain her 24/7 while she was there, I would feel that he wasn't that into me and do what the above poster said " Spend more time with my local pals, perhaps date others ( after a discussion of course) basically de-prioritize the relationship with him.

 

I mean a 2 hr drive, But OH Gee I have "family in town", so lets cook dinner, watch a movie, f*ck and then I'll go to my aunt Sadies for the night !?!

 

I had a smaller drive than that ( he had horses so we ALWAYS had to stay at his place which was rather sucky in itself) but if I wasn't invited for the WEEKEND ( Fri after work, drive home Sunday afternoon,) I would have bailed !

 

I realize that I and everyone here are making assumptions as we only ever have to go on what the OP is sharing, but I also think maybe he isn't as into her/the relationship/ANY relationship as she may be into him. I also think she's handling it without being a BIT passive aggressive ( would be hard for me, after being told that I was around too much) so good for her, maybe she'll find someone in town who is thrilled that she wants to spend as much time with him !

 

Again, if she was acting like a needy 2 yr old " What next, ? I'm bored !" EWWW, but if she gets on her own lap top, phone, conducts business, has no prob with the op going out to run errands or meet up without her, then he would need too much "personal space" for me..

 

 

And for all those with the "IT"S ONLY THREE MONTHS" arguments, I assume they are having sex, and if I allow a man in my body, he better damn well allow my toiletries in his house !

[NoMoreJerks]

I'm in my mid forties and have had a good amount of relationship experience, enough to know what works for ME.

 

In this case, unless I/she was asking you to entertain her 24/7 while she was there, I would feel that he wasn't that into me and do what the above poster said " Spend more time with my local pals, perhaps date others ( after a discussion of course) basically de-prioritize the relationship with him.

 

I mean a 2 hr drive, But OH Gee I have "family in town", so lets cook dinner, watch a movie, f*ck and then I'll go to my aunt Sadies for the night !?!

 

I had a smaller drive than that ( he had horses so we ALWAYS had to stay at his place which was rather sucky in itself) but if I wasn't invited for the WEEKEND ( Fri after work, drive home Sunday afternoon,) I would have bailed !

 

I realize that I and everyone here are making assumptions as we only ever have to go on what the OP is sharing, but I also think maybe he isn't as into her/the relationship/ANY relationship as she may be into him. I also think she's handling it without being a BIT passive aggressive ( would be hard for me, after being told that I was around too much) so good for her, maybe she'll find someone in town who is thrilled that she wants to spend as much time with him !

 

Again, if she was acting like a needy 2 yr old " What next, ? I'm bored !" EWWW, but if she gets on her own lap top, phone, conducts business, has no prob with the op going out to run errands or meet up without her, then he would need too much "personal space" for me..

 

 

And for all those with the "IT"S ONLY THREE MONTHS" arguments, I assume they are having sex, and if I allow a man in my body, he better damn well allow my toiletries in his house !

THIS. Couldn't have said it better. Especially the last bit abut toiletries. It looks like OP wants to treat each "meet-up" with his gf as a one night stand.. so he isn't interested in a relationship with this woman per se, just a series of multiple-night stands... a friends with benefits sort of arrangement.His gf, on the other hand, sounds very reasonable and her expectations are not too high, considering that she drives for 2 hours. Also, yes, if someone is f*cking me, they had better "allow" me to leave some of my stuff behind, because I'm not gonna be carrying my shaving cream, my razors, etc., back and forth with me every day..