keith99 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I was married for 12 years to a high flying career woman. She was very controlling. I moved to Australia from the UK to be with her. Anyway we had our ups and downs. She had many issues, including accusing me of having affairs all the time. This was crazy as I was very loyal to her. We had a son together and had a lot of issues with him. His school thought he had aspergers syndrome and it was left to me to deal with all the doctors and the school ringing me every day with various problems. my wife never supported me and just got very angry dismissing every thing that was said by the school. I spent a lot of money trying to get to the root of the problem which put a huge strain on my mental health. Being told your child may have Autism is beyond stressful, even worse when you have nobody to turn to. This saga went on for years, meanwhile I held a full time job and worked around my sons school hours. Pretty much every day I was getting complaints from school, having to go to meetings but I carried on because I loved my son. He started to get very hostile to me which really effected me. I think he got this from his mother. She was a fantastic smart woman but I think she may have had some kin dof personality disorder. Anyway to cut a long story short I gave my wife a ultimatum. To help me and stop being so angry with me all the time. This made her even more angry and she started to threaten to divorce me. After 3 months of going nowhere I just left and went back to the UK to stay with my parents. It was horrible. She ended up divorcing me which was awful. I ended up meeting a girl who was lovely and we are now in a relationship. my ex wife started to contact me and I wanted no contact but in the end for the sake of my son I caved and we started to talk. She started to say she loved me and wanted me back. I explained I had somebody else and for months resisted her. Anyway now I am at the point of going back to her. I miss my son so much, I miss my home and I do miss her. My girlfriend is so caring and understands and Id love a life with her but my son is in my head 24-7. My family will most likely disown me as they hate her and think she is bad news. Am I making the right choice.
jags2bowl27 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I was married for 12 years to a high flying career woman. She was very controlling. I moved to Australia from the UK to be with her. Anyway we had our ups and downs. She had many issues, including accusing me of having affairs all the time. This was crazy as I was very loyal to her. We had a son together and had a lot of issues with him. His school thought he had aspergers syndrome and it was left to me to deal with all the doctors and the school ringing me every day with various problems. my wife never supported me and just got very angry dismissing every thing that was said by the school. I spent a lot of money trying to get to the root of the problem which put a huge strain on my mental health. Being told your child may have Autism is beyond stressful, even worse when you have nobody to turn to. This saga went on for years, meanwhile I held a full time job and worked around my sons school hours. Pretty much every day I was getting complaints from school, having to go to meetings but I carried on because I loved my son. He started to get very hostile to me which really effected me. I think he got this from his mother. She was a fantastic smart woman but I think she may have had some kin dof personality disorder. Anyway to cut a long story short I gave my wife a ultimatum. To help me and stop being so angry with me all the time. This made her even more angry and she started to threaten to divorce me. After 3 months of going nowhere I just left and went back to the UK to stay with my parents. It was horrible. She ended up divorcing me which was awful. I ended up meeting a girl who was lovely and we are now in a relationship. my ex wife started to contact me and I wanted no contact but in the end for the sake of my son I caved and we started to talk. She started to say she loved me and wanted me back. I explained I had somebody else and for months resisted her. Anyway now I am at the point of going back to her. I miss my son so much, I miss my home and I do miss her. My girlfriend is so caring and understands and Id love a life with her but my son is in my head 24-7. My family will most likely disown me as they hate her and think she is bad news. Am I making the right choice. no, your making the wrong choice... in my eyes you love you son, you hate this women. No offense, let the courts decide when u can see your son. Love the women your with. Your happiness is important and even though seeing your son would make you happy, waking up next to this control freak will not and you will think about this women constantly which treats you right.
fancy feast Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 You're a good father, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with a ****ty spouse. I agree with the above post.
soccerrprp Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 You are not making a good choice to go back to your ex. There's NOTHING in your post that leads me to believe that it is. It's baffling how people go back to people who have treated them like crap. I just can't fathom it, but it's also a form of mental disorder of sorts. Not trying to be mean here, but you have a good woman right now and perhaps you can make arrangements to see your son more often, but don't go back to your ex. Bring your current lady friend with you to visit? Anyway, how do you know that your ex is not reeling from taking care of your son, the responsibility you once held exclusively it sounds? Maybe she wants you back to help take care of your son and not really want you back. She sounds unstable, controlling, nasty, etc. 1
darkmoon Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 if your son is in your head 24/7 - how will u feel if u don't go back? big but has to be - will your wife seek counselling to curb her anger? can she change? does she even know the meaning of the word nice? ppl here are saying don't go back, and i can see why, but i give ppl a a chance - just one
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