Will this Bunny Boiler ever go away!!

[nofool4u]

And here is something the OW that are here to tear Ali down don't dare address.

 

If an OW contacts a BS, gives them information they are totally oblivious too, wife will now go on being cautious and suspicious of her H's doings, an affair still goes on and the OW frantically goes out of her way to be in the BS's face to let her know she is still F'ing her husband, then what is the point of that while STILL F'ing their husband?

 

Because at THAT point, it isn't about a BS's right to know. At THAT point it is now to abuse the wife, rub her nose in sh*t, and it is at this point were it is simply vindictive, catty, and downright despicable.

 

Bottom line. Once the BS has been given the information that their spouse is a cheating piece of sh*t, then they have the information about who their spouse is from that point on. And if a BS wishes after that point to no longer be contacted by the OW, then RESPECT THAT and leave her the F alone.

[SmokeRat]

"You do realize that if you accuse someone of something often enough they're going to do it right? Wanna tell me again how I'm just here to make people feel worse?"

 

Generalization much?

 

I think you fail to see that people are against you, because you are attacking the very thing they are trying to recover from. You personify, the very thing we hate.

 

You are Infidelity Incarnate.

 

I'm sure people who, perhaps respect you, if you backed off from the married man, admitted what you were doing is amoral, disrespectful and wrong.

 

My wife has nearly as many 'mental health issues' as your MM's spouse. But you do not see me running off to find some 'woman' to feed my needs.

 

I have something called honour, pride and integrity. Look them up, I think all three of them would look absolutely wonderful on you!

[nofool4u]

Yeah, cause that's SOOOO much my style.

 

You aren't proving me wrong so far.

 

 

I dont' pretend to speak for anyone else but I was sincerely trying to offer my opinion and some advice.

 

Could have fooled us when you replied defensively about leaving a BS alone once they make it known that is their desire.

 

 

Guess you don't want to hear it, as we're often told, maybe you just don't like what you're hearing.

 

I don't even believe I have to explain it to you again. A BS should get the truth. And if the OW is the one to give it to them, so be it.

 

But once a BS has the information, and will from that point on be suspicious of their spouse, then once they make it known they want to be left alone, then do just that.

 

 

I'm going to stop being nice. It's not appreciated.

 

You weren't being nice. I know you think you were, but you weren't. You want to label it as BS's wanting to bury their head in the sand. Its not a matter of that at all. The OW in this situation already gave the BS the truth. Now its a matter of the OW wanting to tear the BS down when BS has made it CLEAR she doesn't want her to contact her again.

 

Ali knows what her husband is. She doesn't need OW to keep harassing her.

 

 

And yet I'm the one that's all souless and crap.

 

Oh no, you aint the only one.

 

 

You do realize that if you accuse someone of something often enough they're going to do it right? Wanna tell me again how I'm just here to make people feel worse?

 

Ok, I will, and its obvious in this thread, and in others.

 

So here it is again, and please ANSWER THIS:

 

If Alicat knows her husband is still a cheating POS, she will forever be cautious of his behavior, and simply doesn't want to be harassed by the OW, then why shouldn't she just be left alone?

[ThatJustHappened]

I always find it incredibly amusing that OW think MM lie to their wives but not to them.

 

Newflash! MM lie...to everyone. That lie may be outright, it may be withholding information or exaggeration, or it may be just simply letting the OW come to her own erroneous conclusions without correcting wrong assumptions.

 

Exactly! And here's a question..how can you know if someone is lying to you unless they come clean or you catch them? Answer..you can't. So there's no way to prove that a MM isn't lying to an OW unless he gets caught or comes clean. And we already know that MM who cheat are proven liars, so the probability of them lying to other people besides their wives is pretty high.

[nofool4u]

AND I said she should be... I simply pointed out, that the behavior of the OW makes it likely that there's more and that maybe she should look to see if it's new information.

 

Think the worst of me.

You already do... but that really was my only intention.

Some do stick their heads in the sand, some don't. Some simply never consider that there might be a reason.

 

I thought I was offering advice. I also said it's entirely possible the OW is bat**** crazy. She shouldn't have to deal with that, but her husband should be backing her up if he isn't still doing his OW. Period.

 

And if thats all you were saying, I don't think many would have a problem with that.

 

But in my first reply to you I respectfully just tried to get you to see that this is a different situation than first informing her of her right to know when she was oblivious. And that this situation is CLEARLY a case of Ali making it clear that she has heard enough of OW and OW goes out of her way to be in her face.

 

And then you came back with this smartass reply

 

Ok. So no one thinks that Ali should maybe consider that her NON remorseful, still gaslighting and lying to her, refusing to back her up in her attempts to get rid of this "stalking OW" husband might still be involved with the woman.

 

Ok. Ali, whatever you do... don't consider that option.

 

So when one respectfully points out that your characterization of people in the OW/OM forum saying that the BS has a right to know, and this situation is quite different, then when you come back with the above, it doesn't instill much confidence that you are really here to help.

 

Now I'll say that you aren't the main antagonist here. Perhaps you aren't trying to rub her nose in crap as another poster. But we've been told to mind our P's & Q's in the "other" forum. I respectfully request that of this forum then.

[whichwayisup]

So Ali isn't ready to throw in the towel yet, she hasn't reached her enough is enough stage yet..That's OK. I mean, it seems some get riled up when an OW or OM is told to end their A with their MM/MW and some advice is, do it when you are ready, then end it and do NC - ONLY when one is strong enough. So, this BS, Ali, isn't there yet. People need to chill out and stop making her the bad guy in all this! She is the victim here, the OW her H slept with is bothering her. She has an H who is an as.s, she knows this but can't deal with him yet. She will, in time. Support her, encourage her to do counseling, to talk to friends and family so she can walk away. How is someone supposed to just up and end a marriage if they aren't strong enough or ready to? All that they shared, the love, a life built. A hell of a lot more than what her H and the OW shared, that's for sure. Some can walk away quickly and never look back, some can't.

 

Anyway, Ali hasn't done an update in a while, so I hope she's doing alright.

[nofool4u]

Agreed, back on topic.

 

Ali, you continue to block OW at every avenue. You know what your husband is, you know what he is still doing, and you know you can never trust him fully ever again.

 

So if need be, you might need to publicly tell OW to F off, then go hold your jerk H's feet to the fire since its clear he has no interest in helping keep the OW at bay.

[Ellin]

Alicat, you sounds as if you're willing to tolerate your H cheating as long as it's not put in front of your face?

[thomasb]

You guys do realize this is an old thread brought back solely to stir crap. Ali hasn't been on it for a month.

[alicat009]

I haven't been on in a long time because my life is a complete mess. I had to change my acct name on here as well, i had to change my emails.

 

Long story short...Bunny Boiler did NOT go away. She sent me pages and pages of ranting and insults...and phone calls etc.

 

So to sum it up...I called the police once again and they went to talk to her AGAIN. I was told that i do not have enough evidence to press charges.

 

I have since filed for separation and am now living with my husband in complete turmoil and devastation. I hate my life & I hate myself for allowing him to do this to me. And for giving him 2 years to make it right. I am sad 100% of the day and I am empty inside.

 

It took all the courage and strength I had to file for separation, It is taking forever and the negotiations have not even started.

 

He is NOW begging me to give him another chance, that he is willing to do everything and anything it takes if I don't go through with it.

 

I am getting weak as the days go on because it is taking so long. I don't even want to be anywhere near him. He allowed her to do this to me & I fully blame him. He should of been the one to call the police.

 

He said he would get a RO and go to councelling...have a trail separation anything.

 

He will be home tonight to once again beg and cry for forgivenes and another chance.

 

I am soo broken I don't have the strength I had 2 months ago.

 

I just want to run away or disappear.

[alicat009]

If I move out, I will have to pay child support And he makes way more money than me. I was already told by my Lawyer.

[alicat009]

I'm just trying to be patient. I did move out for a little bit but my kids need me and it's my home. He shud move out...but he wont.

 

Hoping things will move along quicker now.

[krazikat]

Why are you living with him Alicat when you have filed for separation?

 

IMO you should get away from him, go somewhere where you can feel safe and let someone you care for and trust take care of you until you feel stronger.

 

Your husband is an asshat! You deserve so much better.

 

Agree! x10!!!! You will find life is much more peaceful when you are no longer pulled down emotionally by such an asshat...

 

And LG, I must say I love that term...asshat...lol!

[latergater]

Hello:

 

My husbands OW, will not leave me alone. She is tormenting me. You would think after getting caught she would have the deciency to back off!!

 

I'm new & have been doing alot of reading on here, I know my story is not unique & didn't want to post but I really have no one else to talk to anymore.

 

I will try & make it brief.

 

It's been 2years since D day. I don't know how I've survived this long, I can only describe my emotional state as beaten & spent. I am losing this battle. I am still a complete mess, with no chance of healing because she just wont go away.

 

I had to delete my FB acct & block her from all emails. However she just makes up a new email address & sends them from the new one. She insists on sending all the details of their love affair, all the broken promises he has made to her.

 

She goes out of her way to try & ruin every special occasion. Everytime I start to feel better about myself she pops up again. I have recently reported her to the police for the 2nd time & haven't heard anything from her in a few weeks.

 

My H has NOT been supportive of this because he is NOT remorseful at all. He is still just trying to hide all his BS lies. I know it is up to him to end it with her cut her off, but he just hides everything & pretends there is nothing going on.

 

He just keeps telling me that she is unstable & a very angry person because his decison was to stay with me. All her emails to me say that he promised her he was going to leave etc. We have been together for more than 25 years, we are not going to break up.

 

I could heal & forgive if she would just go away, but that isn't happening. I am still sooo incredibly anry. I hate him so much & yet I still love him & am not ready to give up.

 

I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

Two words. Restraining order!

[BeholdtheMan]

My H has NOT been supportive of this because he is NOT remorseful at all. He is still just trying to hide all his BS lies. I know it is up to him to end it with her cut her off, but he just hides everything & pretends there is nothing going on.

You are still married to this remorseless man...why?

 

I could heal & forgive

Why oh why would you want to forgive a man who is "remorseless", tries to hide his lies, and pretends nothing is going on

 

If you don't respect yourself, don't be surprised when your husband throws you under the bus again in the future, which will likely happen because all this experience has taught your husband is that you're essentially a doormat who will put up with his philandering