april38 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Hi, quick and simple question: A guy I've known for about a year from work asked me to go hiking with him. We don't kow eachother all that well, but have had nice chats at work. Anyway, it took him a month to contact me after we exchanged phone numbers, but finally did (via text). Do you think it's a date, or just is he just trying to make a new friend? Either way, I'm looking forward to it, but wondering what you think...
rys Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 i don't think it's a date. but it might be a way for him to get to know you better.
phineas Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Or murder her. LOL! Make sure someone knows who you are with just in case you don't come in on Monday. Not serious. well semi-serious. If you are co-workers & don't really know each other, a non-date hangout type activity like this (away from booze) is a good way for you to get to know each other.
Author april38 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 Well, you were right, it wasn't a date. We hiked for a couple of hours, had great convo, and then he dropped me off and thanked me, I gave him a hug and said see ya later, but no discussion of another time. Honestly he seemed a bit nervous, either that or disinterested...oh well, I guess I'll see if he ever tries to make plans again.
somedude81 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Well, you were right, it wasn't a date. We hiked for a couple of hours, had great convo, and then he dropped me off and thanked me, I gave him a hug and said see ya later, but no discussion of another time. Honestly he seemed a bit nervous, either that or disinterested...oh well, I guess I'll see if he ever tries to make plans again. I would consider this a pre-date. If he does try to make plans again I would consider that a date. 1
edgygirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I've had something similar happen last year and it wasn't a date either. He just wanted to make business connections. But it was weird as I always thought the guy was hot. I think guys should make it clear when it's not going to be a date as it's really confusing.
TheZebra Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Not everyone jumps in full speed ahead after just one meeting. Since he invited you hiking, why not invite him somewhere yourself this time around? Ask him if he wants to grab dinner or drinks and see what he says. Be flirty and try to show that you're interested in more than friendship. Honestly, most guys I know don't invite a girl hiking (you two alone) unless there's SOME interest there in the first place. Just keep feeling each other out. What have you got to lose?
Casablanca Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I would consider this a pre-date. If he does try to make plans again I would consider that a date. This, it made it low pressure and no risk. Guys (or people in general) won't ask someone they don't know that well to do something, especially something like hiking 1
Author april38 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Thank you everyone for your replies. He did end up texting me last night saying he had a good time, and we should do it again soon. Seems like a friendship in the making, and will only become a date if we find a lot chemistry between us, not sure there is, but it's good to make a new friend. :-)
somedude81 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Thank you everyone for your replies. He did end up texting me last night saying he had a good time, and we should do it again soon. Seems like a friendship in the making, and will only become a date if we find a lot chemistry between us, not sure there is, but it's good to make a new friend. :-) Just as a heads up, he may try to bridge the gap between friends and dating. Don't freak out if he eventually tries to make a move.
Author april38 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Just as a heads up, he may try to bridge the gap between friends and dating. Don't freak out if he eventually tries to make a move. I'd actually be suprized if he did. I've been attracted to him for a while, but he seems timid, and that could be a problem for me. I know the stress of getting to know someone new, so I'm not judging him on it, but would be pleasantly suprised if he displayed some boldness (if he's got it in him).
sid3 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Definitely was a date. He sounds a bit scared, probably has something to do with the fact you have a vajay jay. 1
Author april38 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Definitely was a date. He sounds a bit scared, probably has something to do with the fact you have a vajay jay. Bahahaha!!! LOL! And a lot of other assets, but yes the Vajay jay can be very scary!!! LOL!
sid3 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Bahahaha!!! LOL! And a lot of other assets, but yes the Vajay jay can be very scary!!! LOL! There's no doubt he's thinking about the boobies too. I doubt hiking is all he had on his mind. Maybe he'll make a move, afterall Valentine's day is just around the corner.
TheZebra Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I'm in a very similar situation as you right now (not sure if guy wants friendship or more). With my guy, I started warming up to him w/casual conversation for almost 2 months before I asked him out. I had to do the asking out the first few times, but now he's taking charge a bit more and the last like 3 times he's asked me out. He's also pretty timid, softspoken, and super polite (he rarely curses, and if he does, apologizes for it), along with being kind of a homebody. The other women in my office think he may just be the take it slow kind, because if he genuinely wasn't interested then he would never go out with me (much less do the asking). My mom continues to remind me that 'the best relationships start as friendships' to boot. So hang in there, there's still hope Maybe what we need to do is boost our flirting and get them to do happy hour, haha
jcrew11 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Hi, quick and simple question: A guy I've known for about a year from work asked me to go hiking with him. We don't kow eachother all that well, but have had nice chats at work. Anyway, it took him a month to contact me after we exchanged phone numbers, but finally did (via text). Do you think it's a date, or just is he just trying to make a new friend? Either way, I'm looking forward to it, but wondering what you think... Are you interested in him or do you like him? Are you single? Or do you see him as just a friend? He wants to get to know you better as a potential date. If you have no romantic interest in him, then don't go hiking because that will lead him on. Or at least be clear that you don't want to date him. If you are interested in him romantically then let him know. Hiking is a low pressure fun activity that friends can enjoy. Its sort of like going to happy hour or a sporting event. Only you can decide if you want to take the next step.
jcrew11 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I'd actually be suprized if he did. I've been attracted to him for a while, but he seems timid, and that could be a problem for me. I know the stress of getting to know someone new, so I'm not judging him on it, but would be pleasantly suprised if he displayed some boldness (if he's got it in him). Then you should ask him out to dinner. He's obvisously not aggressive or maybe he just got dumped and is afraid of girls. Its up to you to make the next move.
Author april38 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Hey everyone, I just wanted to share an update. It was definitely a date. And we've been on 2 since, all with his initiative. 2nd date he was much less reserved and open, and I really enjoyed his company, it ended with a big hug. Last night we had date #3, we talked for hours, then he finally admitted that he likes me but wants to be careful and wants to take things really slowly. We talked about our attraction, and were both open about everything. Date ended in a kiss (many kisses).... I'm so glad I was patient, and am letting him lead the way in this process. It seems that it allowed him time to pursue me, and moving at a pace he's comfortable with. I think if I would have pushed the issue, or moved quicker than he's comfortable with it might have made both of us uncomfortable. Now we are both just really excited! Thanks everyone for your comments in this thread and all threads - I love our discussions regarding all elements of dating. :-)
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