Is this regret?

[Paige1377]

So to make things short my ex-husband and I have been divorced for over a year and a half. We share custody of our two year old daughter and right now my daughter and I live in Iowa and my ex-husband lives in Texas. We had a very bad split where my ex wanted it and I didn't because of our daughter. He literally kicked my daughter and I out of the house and put us on a bus to get out of his life. I found out later on he had started very quickly after our split a relationship with the woman he had been texting about a month before we split.

 

So fast forward to now, after many months of pain and hurt, especially myself hurting and missing him alot b/c of of daughter about a month and a half ago I finally let go. I had tried many times to get back with this man b/c of our daughter and was told that he was happy with his new woman he lives with and that I wasn't good enough. He would even go to the point of telling me b/c I had stretch marks and had a baby I was therefore ruined. Let's just say my ex-husband is not the nicest person around.

 

About a week ago my ex-husband took my daughter for a week b/c of our custody agreement and was a complete jerk about, wouldn't let me talk to our daughter on the phone b/c he was "teaching me"...he was always doing this stuff when we were together for six years and now tries to do the same now to control and manipulate me, however it doesn't work b/c he holds nothing above me. He can't kick me or hurt me any worse, b/c I am my own person now.

 

Since our split we have fought a lot, mainly over the fact he said I denied him his daughter and I told him he kicked us out for another woman which he denies but we all know is true. After this most recent visit and him denying me speaking to my daughter I became very annoyed with him and especially agitated with him altogether, just sick of his crap. Mind you I loved this man for a year after the split, waited for him, lost 90 pounds, grew up and was raising my daughter by myself and I was still not good enough for him.

 

During the visit with my daughter while he was in kansas visiting family and I was in iowa a fight ensued, which isn't uncommon b/c we do that quite frequently although not in front of our daughter. The fight started b/c for five days he would not give me a pick up time for our daughter, was being a jerk so my dad intervened and asked him simply when we could pick up my daughter. And then the texts started, and then the e-mails as well. It didn't take me long from his mispelling and agitated state that not only was he derailing but he appeared drunk and out of it.

 

After our spit I had alot of remorse, but my ex-husband never showed any. I would derail on him, and he never did b/c he had moved on before he kicked us out. What's interesting about him derailing that night was randomly out of nowhere he sends a picture of me from six years ago, when we had our first apartment together, were young and in love just standing there smiling. Not only did it shock me, but I could tell as well it was something he has saved to his phone. I only kept one picture of him and that was for my daughter to see him, but I would never keep anything on my phone b/c he hurt me enough to last a lifetime.

 

The texting ensued, him derailing, basically telling me alot of crazy stuff like how my daughter hadn't mentioned me which I don't believe and then after the drunken parade he sends me an e-mail of our daughter sleeping, which was odd. I even asked if he was drunk but he denied it of course.

 

Now this man has a hard time expressing emotions...never really been able to do it, and can hardly do it with his own child. So the idea he was texting/e-mailing me and reaching out obviously distraught and sent me that picture confused me to no dickens. Why keep it? Why send it? What purpose was it? I think he's having issues with his current living arrangement, which would explain his derailing, but I don't get it.

 

The next day he was back to mister nasty, saying rude comments, saying the day we split was when he started to get happiness in his life again and blah blah blah. The night with the derailing was him showing his under belly, which he hardly does. In the six years he and I lived together I saw him cry twice, once over his dog dying and once when he dumped me for this other woman.

 

My friends told me this episode of his was him showing some regret...even when I picked up my daughter I have decided we don't talk face to face b/c of the negative stuff that can occur in front of our daughter, but the way he looked at me...and the way I woudln't look at him...shocked me...plus what really baffled me was when we left...I looked over at him in his car and he is just staring at me with this sad look in his eyes...and i immediately grimaced...lol

 

I waited a long time for some remorse from him...and for all he tells me he is so happy with his new life...this was a shocker....he has said he's over me...that I am gross and disgusting which I am not...In fact not to toot my own horn or anything but since I lost my weight, grew my hair out and starting taking care of myself I get asked out alot...single mother status and all...

 

So two questions...is this some kind of regret? And if he is so happy with his life why the hell is he still so mean to me? He dumped me, gave me his daughter...why the hostility towards me still?

 

Thanks for your thoughts!

[HaveFaithxx]

Sounds like a right a**hole. Who cares if he regrets?

[TaraMaiden]

The question is not "Why do they do....?"

 

The question is always, unchangeably:

 

"What do I do now?"

 

The answer is, continue to act in a dignified and respectable manner, adhering to your principles and getting on with your life.

 

He acted despicably.

He's not worth wasting time over, in pondering the whats whys and wherefores of his demeanour and temperament.

 

The minute he is out of your sight (or you finish talking to him) put him out of your mind.

As they say: Don't let him live rent-free in your head......."

 

If he's messin' with your mind - quit the cogitation on the conundrum.

His business, not yours.

you have more important things to think about, like you and your daughter....