boblet Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Just a random rant.... since I feel like messaging him today. Why did you leave me when I was on my trip, after you knew how long I was planning it and how excited I was about it for months? I KNEW something was up before I left, I kept asking you over and over, you were acting so distant and uninterested in everything I was doing... yet you had the nerve to blame me for complaining about it? It makes me SO mad that I was away thinking everyday about you and when next I'd see your face.. to you I was already gone when I left.... it breaks my heart so much... then you get mad at me for asking to see you when I was back? I knew I asked over and over... but my heart hurt SO much, I missed you so much, I tried so hard to let you know when you were on my mind, I tried to make you feel special and loved even from a distance... yet you could act so coldly towards me? It makes me SO mad that I was the one yearning to see YOU, yet you could so easily tell me NO consistently every single F@#$% time I asked to see you after I was back, you go to school and work 5 minutes from me.... you could have made it work.. this f@#$^% situation makes me SO mad, it feels as though it made the BU easier for you, seeing as I was away and you weren't near to me.... you detached yourself so much from me there was nothing I could have done... no matter how busy you were, but I wasn't enough for you.. all my love, everything that I gave you... how dare you? I'm not perfect.... I know you had enough when I looked through your messages, right after we decided that we would stay together and push through... Why did you have to leave your messages open on THAT day after you left? Of all the times.... why THAT time, when we were so rocky? I know I shouldn't have been going through them... but you knew you cheated on me, I don't feel it should have been blown out of proportion as much as it did.. I'm so stupid for going through them I never go through your stuff.. so stupid of me The night you cheated on me, I was with you right before.. you acted so differently when you saw me, so surprised that I came to say hello as if I were some random girl.... you said you were drunk and didn't know what you were doing, but yet you were sober enough to tell that ugly b**ch to come sit on your lap?! I don't think you realized how much it took for me to give you a chance after that.... yet you couldn't give me another chance when I messed up? I know I finally said I'd sort my life out when we were talking about breaking up, you said you thought I'd just revert to my old habits when I was comfortable again... I can't blame you for thinking that, but I had my doubts too when you cheated on me, yet I still found it in my heart to give you the benefit of the doubt.. how is that fair? Why is it that you were the one who cheated and you were the one to reject my love ultimately? You ended up in an almost identical situation as your last ex, breaking up and acting coldly, you admitted to being an a** about it... if you know you're repeating the same cycle, why aren't you doing something to change that? I don't get it... how could you just let me go like that? I'm so f@#$^$ mad, sad, frustrated, lonely..... I think about you everyday... my life feels so lonely without you... it makes me sick
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