jayy23 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 im curious about what others think about the reason for the ex (the dumper) just completely cuting all contact after a beak up. I understand that they dont want to be with you anymore but does that really meen that you cant keep in contact sometimes? with no hope that your goina get back together. in my case I was with my ex for nearlly five year's she ended things and cut all contact we have spoke a few times since witch was 10months ago but only over Facebook and it wasnt conversations worth having basically just her saying shes happy how things are now and shes really stressed with uni and to just leave it at that. I considered my ex my best friend and even tho we are not together anymore im still proud of her and without hope or agenda I would still like to be friends with her. things never ended badly between us but for some reason she wants nothing to do with me atall I dont get that. I wished her a happy Christmas and new year but she never even took the time to say it back. I guess I just find it strange how someone you spent so much time with and shared lots of amaizing memories with can just act like your dead or invisible.
crashvector Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 im curious about what others think about the reason for the ex (the dumper) just completely cuting all contact after a beak up. I understand that they dont want to be with you anymore but does that really meen that you cant keep in contact sometimes? with no hope that your goina get back together. in my case I was with my ex for nearlly five year's she ended things and cut all contact we have spoke a few times since witch was 10months ago but only over Facebook and it wasnt conversations worth having basically just her saying shes happy how things are now and shes really stressed with uni and to just leave it at that. I considered my ex my best friend and even tho we are not together anymore im still proud of her and without hope or agenda I would still like to be friends with her. things never ended badly between us but for some reason she wants nothing to do with me atall I dont get that. I wished her a happy Christmas and new year but she never even took the time to say it back. I guess I just find it strange how someone you spent so much time with and shared lots of amaizing memories with can just act like your dead or invisible. Because they're done and try to make things go away as quickly as possible. Women are usually less emotional about break ups than men are when they are doing the dumping. Once they're done..they're done.
newmoon Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 cuz, generally, these things are well-thought out by the dumper, so they have already had time to prepare/uninvest in the relationship. they are more mentally and emotionally ready to move on whereas the dumpee is caught off-guard and their emotions aren't yet removed from the partner and situation. the dumper will always have the advantage in that way
stevie_23 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Yes, the dumper has often moved on in their mind before acting on their feelings so by the time they dump you and you’re upset and distraught, they can’t even fully understand or access those devastated feelings anymore because they’ve already moved on. Also, it depends on the person. Some people consider being friends with an ex is just not a way to be. I myself am best friends with one of my exes (I only have 2 exes). We were best friends from age 14, got together and had a 4 year relationship from age 18 – 22, and are still best friends today, aged 34. I personally believe if things end in a relationship, as long as neither party hurt or was cruel or disrespectful to the other, and if you still value them as a person and not just for what they can give to you in a relationship, I don’t see why you can’t be friends with an ex.
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