misterhappyface Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Hi. Been dating #girl for about two months now. Been some rough patches along the road but the further we get the better our relationship progresses. Now, this girl has a record of being very "attention-wanting" since she had a lonesome childhood, and we have talked about it several times. I've been incredible mature about the matter and told her that I don't accept her flirting to other guys frequently, not because I'm getting jealous but because it's just downright disrespectful to a boyfriend. Last night we talked about it again - She started texting some dude right after sex. And I told her that it was the last time I wanted to see that behaviour. It's not like it happens sporadically but constantly when eating, resting, talking etc. She told me this morning that she had quit the contact with all the guys (not that I wanted that, she can talk to whoever she want's, just not flirting). Later she went out shopping and I just couldn't resist the urge to check her facebook when she got a message notification from a guy. All of her latest conversations was flirtatious and with guys. Problem is we live together, but I'm losing my love for her everytime something similar happens. Should I cut the strings promptly or try to confront her? (I know I shouldn't have checked her facebook but she has allowed me so many times and I've told her that I don't wan't to each time) Thanks in advance guys and girls! Hope somebody who has the same dilemma has use for the same information.
Joaquin Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Tell her that you want to revert to a non-exclusive relationship so she can text and call any guy she wants. To my mind you seem to have a good handle on healthy boundaries. Her, not so much......
Balzac Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Dating two months and living together implies to me that she has another residence option immediately. You're telling us that the issue you have, discussion & agreed limits, are meaningless to her. Then you ask us if "confronting her" is advised? I see no purpose to a confrontation. Your feelings were expressed, she chose to flirty chat as her priority. You've been clear and so has she.
Author misterhappyface Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Thanks for such a quick answer! I told her in the beginning that I don't wanted an on/off relationship or a "**** buddy" and she had the same attitude. Obviously I can't tell her straight out that I viewed her facebook, but I feel like provoking the question again, "Do you wanna look at my messages?" and actually look at them this time and then cut the losses quickly. I know she will be very sad because I still think she doesn't understand the gravity of what she's doing while in a relationship. She also have admitted that she likes the attention from other guys when they flirt with her.
coffeebean201 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Women need to stay connected, they need the emotional and intellectual stimulation. Doesn't mean it is disrepectful to you. Texting during sex - would be way off-side. I don't know what to say about the flirting. Try telling her to knock it off and just relax about it. Hopefully when you relax, she also enjoys your company more and doesn't dive for her messages. And encourage her to talk to her friends about you - so that they know you are around and love her very much.
Author misterhappyface Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Thank you Balzac. We live together with two others. Working purposes. I feel it, but at the same time I can't just end it from nowhere when I gave her a last chance yesterday. Just don't know how to open a discussion about the matter yet again.
veggirl Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Really, it's only been 2 mos and already drama? I would just tell her to kick rocks...2 months in things should be blissful, you should be walking on cloud 9, you shouldn't have already had MULTIPLE rough patches! I suggest you dump her and find someone who is more mature. this girl is a walking red flag and will probably cheat on you when she decides the attention she is getting from you is not enough. why put up with drama and s.hit only 2 months in? surely there are girls out there who will be better suited for you, find one of them.
Author misterhappyface Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 Thanks for all the answers, very much appreciated. I will see the right thing done!
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