Gottabestrong Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Tomorrow it will be 14 days of NC and for some reason all I can think about for the last few days is him and contacting him. How do you deal with those urges? I can't even tell myself that he does not want to hear from me, because he does. In our last conversation he told me that he loves me, misses me and loves to talk to me. So what am I supposed to do? Can I get over him without a prolonged period of No Contact? I feel like I am really losing my marbles. I just want to talk to him and hear him say he loves me one more time. I feel like a heroine addict on withdrawal and it is driving me crazy. Any advice?
Gaby Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Hang in there, my ex gf said the same things to me that she misses me and wants to talk to me and all. next week she was all cold about it. I went NC cause if they really want to be with you, they would ask you to do something or anything at all. Hang in there, you will get your peace of mind and heart ofcourse, it's always worse before it gets better
FailedFirstLove Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I was like that as well!was he the one that left you? Don't contact. your beginning to heal slowly day by day. Slight contact will make u step back! It's true that the sooner you stop the contacts a few weeks later you will begin healing. If u contact and hear him it will just go back to the beginning.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Who dumped whom in this case? You've gone without contact for 2 weeks, so I am sure you can do more! Just focus on NC, and try to take your mind off him, by doing other stuff (not necessarily going out or hanging out with friends -- which make me feel worse , actually). Watch movies, your favourite TV shows, do some cooking , etc.
Author Gottabestrong Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Hi guys, thanks for your replies and sorry for the disappearance. Am on vacation and did not have Internet access. He ended things. Summary of my situation: We dated for 6 months, it was long-distance for the last 2 and he ended things because he 'could not give me what I need and is a crappy boyfriend'. His words. Basically I felt that he got cold and distant since I moved away and no matter how often I tried to get him to change, he wouldn't . One day I told him that it does not feel like he even still loves me anymore or wants to be my boyfriend. His reply: If you feel that way we should split up. That was nearly 7 weeks ago and since then we have had a little contact. Whenever we talked he told me that he still loved me, missed me and was thinking about me constantly. But he does not want to get back together because 'it would not work right now'. So I asked him for space two weeks ago. But I miss him so much and just want to talk to him again.
geegirl Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 One day I told him that it does not feel like he even still loves me anymore or wants to be my boyfriend. His reply: If you feel that way we should split up. "If you feel that way"...he put it on you. It was an out for him. Rather than say, "I don't feel that way because of a, b and c. What can I do to make you feel secure in the R?" He dumped you. Use that to propel you forward. He loves you and misses you enough to let you go.
Author Gottabestrong Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Thanks geegirl. I am trying. Every time I think of him (which is practically every two minutes or so) I tell myself that he is willing to lose me so he can't love me as much as he claims. And I deserve someone who loves me enough to actually hang in there. Through thick and thin as they say. But it is so tough.
geegirl Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Thanks geegirl. I am trying. Every time I think of him (which is practically every two minutes or so) I tell myself that he is willing to lose me so he can't love me as much as he claims. And I deserve someone who loves me enough to actually hang in there. Through thick and thin as they say. But it is so tough. It is very tough. I know how you feel. Been there a a few times. Time, cliche, but it's all you have on your side. And what you do with that time. You have gone 14 days. Set a goal. Add two more days on the list. Then two more and keep going. At some point you will be too afraid to waste all that hard work and you'll keep barelling forward. Keep gaining momentum!!
Ruby Slippers Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 You moved away, things changed, and it stopped working. My ex moved away a few months ago, and that was a big factor in my decision to break up with him recently, too. We tried it long distance, but without a workable plan for him moving back, I just wasn't motivated to keep seeing him. Go read some of the no contact guides, like this one: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/81399-no-contact-q-you-ls-newbies
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