Zammo25 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I loved this girl with all my heart. Now putting the pieces together after 8 months I am almost certain she had the new shiny guy as a plan B when she was withdrawing from me. I am positive this guy was sniffing around and biding his time whilst we fell apart and I am sure she transferred her feelings from me to him during this time. Now, 6 months on they are having a wonderful life whilst I am here on my own with only " what if's " and I have never felt worse. I know this guy is better than me in everyway and I guess I should be happy for her but it is the toughest thing I have ever had to deal with and I do not think I can get through it. That makes sense to me now how she moved on without any fight or looking back and now Mr Wonderful is in her bed tonight. This is HELL.
Mcnulty Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Women are like birds. If they want to leave the nest, they don't just get up and leave. They take a twig from the one that they're in and find another tree across town. Then they return for another twig, then another, and another until they have enought to ditch the nest that they're in. I thought of this, when i read your words mate. Not saying it's true with ALL women, but I remembered it and just wanted to show you it. Nuances...every single person is different, that's what makes us unique! He may not be better than you, you're just assuming that because right now, she's with him and not you...doesn't make him a better man, just this month's model. 1
Author Zammo25 Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Thanks mate, just put the pieces together after a long time and I am sure this new bloke was sniffing around and waiting for his chance. Well he took it, fair play and now she loves him, the new Mr Great Guy and I am here a shell.
user6667 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 zammo, i felt like that once too. but you know what, this so called mr perfect, he will always have to accept the fact that she had deep feelings for you once. for all you know he is jealous even when they are together. you had her before he did and that makes you the winner. hope this helps.
MyAngel Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Yes it is easier to leave a relationship if you have another one to go to. A pure case of grass is greener this one zammo. It is heartbreaking to know that while you were loving her and content, she was planning a life away from you - she just had to wait for the right moment to tell you. That is plain awful. I feel like I've received much of the same treatment - looking back, I am sure my ex was thinking of ditching me for a while. Not sure how long but to think that, while I was still in love with her, just makes me feel like such an idiot.
Author Zammo25 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 The problem is that the grass was greener obviously. I had to hear about their moving in xmas party a couple of weeks ago from a mutual friend.
MyAngel Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Yeah, it's greener NOW, maybe not in a years time. How long were you two together? I'm sorry zammo :/
Author Zammo25 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 Yeah, it's greener NOW, maybe not in a years time. How long were you two together? I'm sorry zammo :/ Just over a year but I still love her now. I am 99% certain she knew of this guy whilst we were together and he took his chance when we fell apart. She didn't really communicate with me at the end and when I bottom lined her over a lack of affection and intimacy she made no effort at all to salvage the relationship. The thing is he is better than me, in everyway, but I am a loyal and loving man who was very good to her and her daughter so it hurts.
Mcnulty Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Mate, exact same thing happened to me..read my previous. I felt everything you're feeling, believe me. Previous poster was right...you had her first, he has to deal with that. My ex went with my "friend" FFS!! You know what, he was a twat, she wasn't allowed to mention my first name, he was obsessed with the fact, she was with me before him...in the end he freaked, screwed it up and she dumped him...AND I'm friends with her, took 11 months of healing and now I DO NOT WANT HER BACK. Soiled goods mate...remember this, because way down the line if you had the chance to reconcile, i bet you, you wont be able to in your heart, because she's been with him..it's irretrievable.
winstonsdreams Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 "I know this guy is better than me in everyway and I guess I should be happy for her" What is that s***?! Dude i am telling you right now you are worth it, you can do better, and you need to move on. Stop thinking of the what ifs and all that bs it will destroy you. She has a new fella, ok i know it is terrible and we all make mistakes but this is not going to kill you. What you need to realise is it means she was not the right one for you. So you need to keep NC and move forward and be ready for the next one, because it will happen i can guarantee you that. Dude i was in the same position as you and i listened to everybody here and i am slowly getting there, you can do it too! You need to stop analyzing this situation and realise you cannot change the past. All the best and remember you are a good person and you deserve better!
Minadee Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I know how you feel sweetie, not that it's any condolence! But stop comparing yourself to him. You are you, you are unique and wonderful and special, and one day you will be the apple of someone's eye! Someone who deserves you and will cherish you. I know it hurts right now, my ex was seeing this new female despite knowing I was pregnant with his child and when I told him to tell her, his whole little bubble crashed and she (apparently) is no longer speaking to him, putting me in a very strained position. You will get through this. Don't base your life decisions on trying to be better than him or trying to win her back. I wish you all the best, and i'm here if you ever want to talk!
Author Zammo25 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 I have to get over the fact she did not love me, not like I loved her anyway and she must have been setting up the plan b whilst withdrawing from me and that sucks. I feel a bit disillusioned with this.
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