Scarlett5 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 So here I am full of a cold and feeling sorry for myself. It’s times like these when I’m on my own and feel like death, that it reminds me of exactly that…I’m on my own. I have close friends (with their own lives), but no boyfriend who cares about me. To make me chicken soup, or to check in that I’m doing ok. Or even just to snuggle with. And of course, I would do the same for them Then there’s the romantic weekends away (never had one), the sex and intimacy (I miss this A LOT & crave it regularly) and just having someone to share life’s ups and downs with. I just don’t seem to meet anyone who I do want to share my life with….I know I need to make changes/more of an effort, and not expect him to just drop into my lap, but it’s tough when most of my friends are settled and very rarely want to go out or try new things. I live in a small dull town and I’m thinking of moving to a city….for both personal and professional reasons. I love my friends but I feel the need to mix with people who want to travel (as I do) and who enjoy socialising and trying new things. I’m young, attractive and outgoing - at 27, I know I should be making the most of my life, but I’m just bored and it’s making me feel really anxious. Like as if I’m wasting my life when it could be so much more fulfilling. I also think there will be more job opportunities in a city (I’ve recently graduated) and so I at least have my degree and some experience to offer. I’m earning a really low wage at the moment and live on my own, so I don’t have much spare cash. Career progression is important to me, but I also want to travel at some point. Has anyone ever felt like this before, and moved away for afresh start? Or managed to resolve their issues some other way? I lived somewhere else briefly so I know to some extent what it feels like to move away and not know anyone. But I’m feeling quite positive about it, as I tend to make friends quite easily. And also excited, as I really do want a change. I’m still worried though, as I don’t think it’s necessarily an easy task to make a whole new group of friends. But my life at the moment is really not what I want, so I don’t see any other way. We only get one shot, after all! Any advice, suggestions, or shared experiences would be much appreciated! Thanks for reading
StandByMe Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I try to avoid giving advice, but it sounds like you ought to give it a shot. It could be a cool adventure and worst case scenario, you don't like it and move back. 1
sweetkiwi Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I moved to another continent. And even though it has its ups and downs (currently), it is so worth it. I went from a small town to a big city and I can really say its awesome. I love Just being able to stretch myself beyond the realms I thought were possible. 1
Anna84 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Reading the first half of this post made me double check whether I hadn't written this myself. Yeah, this seems quite familiar! I've been thinking a lot about this recently. Making future plans, thinking about possible career prospects, hoping for Mr Right to drop by is all so tedious though. I've found (like some advice that was given to me in a previous thread) that you've got to keep moving. Things will happen the way they're supposed to, do what you feel like doing/need to do. We'll get there, and yeah, we're young still and attractive, we've got to remember the world's open to us, and celebrate it (did I just sidetrack? Oh well )
SpiralOut Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I grew up in a small town so I know what that atmosphere is like. I think if you want to move away, you should do it. Have you applied for any jobs in the city? Have you thought about travelling alone and meeting up with a tour group? I did one of those years ago and there were lots of people who went alone and made friends with the other travellers in the group.
theLWord Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 So here I am full of a cold and feeling sorry for myself. It’s times like these when I’m on my own and feel like death, that it reminds me of exactly that…I’m on my own. I have close friends (with their own lives), but no boyfriend who cares about me. To make me chicken soup, or to check in that I’m doing ok. Or even just to snuggle with. And of course, I would do the same for them Then there’s the romantic weekends away (never had one), the sex and intimacy (I miss this A LOT & crave it regularly) and just having someone to share life’s ups and downs with. I just don’t seem to meet anyone who I do want to share my life with….I know I need to make changes/more of an effort, and not expect him to just drop into my lap, but it’s tough when most of my friends are settled and very rarely want to go out or try new things. I live in a small dull town and I’m thinking of moving to a city….for both personal and professional reasons. I love my friends but I feel the need to mix with people who want to travel (as I do) and who enjoy socialising and trying new things. I’m young, attractive and outgoing - at 27, I know I should be making the most of my life, but I’m just bored and it’s making me feel really anxious. Like as if I’m wasting my life when it could be so much more fulfilling. I also think there will be more job opportunities in a city (I’ve recently graduated) and so I at least have my degree and some experience to offer. I’m earning a really low wage at the moment and live on my own, so I don’t have much spare cash. Career progression is important to me, but I also want to travel at some point. Has anyone ever felt like this before, and moved away for afresh start? Or managed to resolve their issues some other way? I lived somewhere else briefly so I know to some extent what it feels like to move away and not know anyone. But I’m feeling quite positive about it, as I tend to make friends quite easily. And also excited, as I really do want a change. I’m still worried though, as I don’t think it’s necessarily an easy task to make a whole new group of friends. But my life at the moment is really not what I want, so I don’t see any other way. We only get one shot, after all! Any advice, suggestions, or shared experiences would be much appreciated! Thanks for reading I'm in almost the exact situation as you. Small town, dead end jobs. I'm single and in my mid twenties. I've suffered severe depression this past year, and am scared to leave my ” comfort zone” and support system of family. A lot could go wrong, but a lot could go right. I just got out of a nightmare of a relationship a few months ago where I was planning my life to move to a city far away and now I have to restart, alone as well. It's scary but really is good for us to be able to make decisions for just ourselves at the moment. All my friends are in relationships as well. I think it's important to be happy alone, take risks, and follow your passion(s). That's what I'm doing this year and am in the process of looking for a new job in a big city. We do only live once and when we feel complacent, I think it's time to change. I hope you will do what makes you happy this year, good luck, and happy 2013.
Author Scarlett5 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Hi LWord. It's a bit of a roller coaster isn't it! I go from being full of positivity, excitement and energy (about a fresh start), to feeling scared (although this doesn't put me off), worried that it won't work out and that I'll end up feeling lonely. I support myself 100% and have never had a long term relationship, so I'm always working to build a life for myself and am always doing everything for myself. I'm kind of tired of this now and want someone to share it with....so I'm dealing with two issues here really. Just to add to the confusion! But my main priority is focusing on my career, meeting great people, and hopefully travelling and trying new things. I know that will make me happy because I'll feel like I'm actually living, and not existing. And if I meet a guy in the meantime, even better Sounds like you have a lot going on too...vulnerability can be a scary feeling. But you know what, I wouldn't trade places with any of my friends. Would you? They might be settled and happy, but I hate predictability and I just don't think I could be as content as they are with this way of life. Sure, stability is great, but there's no mystery, no excitement. I hope you're feeling better after dealing with your depression...it's a tough one to deal with and can really change the way you see things. It can hold you back a lot too. Well best of luck with the job search wishing you lots of happiness and fun times! Which country are you from?
Author Scarlett5 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 I love Just being able to stretch myself beyond the realms I thought were possible. That's what it's all about Kiwi sounds amazing
Author Scarlett5 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Reading the first half of this post made me double check whether I hadn't written this myself. Yeah, this seems quite familiar! I've been thinking a lot about this recently. Making future plans, thinking about possible career prospects, hoping for Mr Right to drop by is all so tedious though. I've found (like some advice that was given to me in a previous thread) that you've got to keep moving. Things will happen the way they're supposed to, do what you feel like doing/need to do. We'll get there, and yeah, we're young still and attractive, we've got to remember the world's open to us, and celebrate it (did I just sidetrack? Oh well ) Hi Anna. It's great to know it's not just me who feels this way! I totally agree with the keep moving thing...I know I will feel so much happier doing 'more' and keeping myself active. I'll feel like I'm living rather than existing. I also believe that if you're making the most of your life and enjoying doing your thing, Mr Right will show up. I guess my biggest 'problem' is not knowing what to do, where to go? I don't want to end up moving about all over the place because I can't settle, so it's kind of important for me to make the right choices initially. And then after that I'm happy to see where the adventure takes me How are you getting on with your plans? Your last line is spot on by the way! We do need to remember that.
Author Scarlett5 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 I grew up in a small town so I know what that atmosphere is like. I think if you want to move away, you should do it. Have you applied for any jobs in the city? Have you thought about travelling alone and meeting up with a tour group? I did one of those years ago and there were lots of people who went alone and made friends with the other travellers in the group. I have been looking at jobs, updating my CV and experience portfolio, so I'm pretty much ready to start applying. I would absolutely love to go travelling, I'd go tomorrow actually....but I'm just a bit worried that I'm getting further and further away from making any career progression. My worst-case scenario would be coming back from travelling and having to get a 'normal' job, unrelated to my degree. I'd feel like I was totally back-tracking and I'd still be on a low wage. This worries me. Any advice? Ideal scenario would be to work and travel, but it'd take a few years of hard work to get the experience to even be able to apply for a job like that....and by then I'll be early thirties I will be gaining that experience though, one way or another, so I only hope that one day a dream job like that is attainable.
Anna84 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 (edited) I have been looking at jobs, updating my CV and experience portfolio, so I'm pretty much ready to start applying. I would absolutely love to go travelling, I'd go tomorrow actually....but I'm just a bit worried that I'm getting further and further away from making any career progression. My worst-case scenario would be coming back from travelling and having to get a 'normal' job, unrelated to my degree. I'd feel like I was totally back-tracking and I'd still be on a low wage. This worries me. Any advice? Ideal scenario would be to work and travel, but it'd take a few years of hard work to get the experience to even be able to apply for a job like that....and by then I'll be early thirties I will be gaining that experience though, one way or another, so I only hope that one day a dream job like that is attainable. ..again, as if I'd written this post myself (sorry, that's the only useful comment I can make - keeping an eye out on any helpful replies to this one ) But on a side note, I tend to believe that taking risks is worth more than not doing what you feel like doing, and then later regretting not having done it instead of regretting having -done- it (not taking action feels worse than having taken action i think.) So; from my perspective, I'm close to actually taking the jump and booking my tickets (as soon as I have money!) and then this: "I guess my biggest 'problem' is not knowing what to do, where to go? I don't want to end up moving about all over the place because I can't settle, so it's kind of important for me to make the right choices initially. And then after that I'm happy to see where the adventure takes me" so very familiar - it's like there's too many roads to choose and then becoming apathetic because you can't make a choice, but all because you're afraid you'll walk the wrong path and then wasting time turning back and choosing a different direction again. I suppose, realising there's NO way of ever knowing which way is the right one, all of them are "right", and just choose. That's what I'm trying to do anyway, although it's taking me quite the effort. At the mo I'm just saving up, applying for jobs here and abroad keeping my travel plans in mind. If the perfect job comes along (which I doubt in this economic climate) then maybe my plans will change. 'T would be interesting to know what you end up doing!! Edited January 11, 2013 by Anna84
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