RR1 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I've been there and also felt I needed to e-mail my ex.one last time and 'get things off my chest" cause it was driving me crazy. If and when you do make sure you say EVERYTHING you need to say..type it up but don't send it right away...sleep on it because your emotions/thoughts will change later. Do this for a day or so...re-read it..edit it send it and be done with it. You don't want to think later Oh I wished I would of said this or that and send another then another then another etc.etc. I personally wouldn't send anything and am a true believer in No Contact. Listen to geegirl. I can see why you say that but i personally have given up being so cautious in life. That's the approach of a cautious person and fortune always favours the brave. If i like someone i am going to find a way to tell them, likewise if i love them i'm going to tell them somehow. We only have one life so we can sit and watch life's opportunities go by and wonder why it didn't happen for us, well maybe we just didn't speak up when we should have done. If the only thing i have to worry about is losing a bit of pride i really couldn't care less, i'll sacrifice some pride to make sure i don't lose someone special. 2
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 Really have a mixed bag of opinions on this one. I always come to geegirls and NoMoreJerks posts. Everything they say rings true. If he wanted to talk to me he'd contact me. But then I think 'Oh **** it, what have I got to lose'
Honiebee Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I don't think emailing him would help. You will be setting yourself up for sadness- you will send the email and be waiting for him to reply. If he doesn't reply straight away you will be upset and wondering why he hasn't- what's he doing what's he thinking etc. If he doesn't reply at all you will be devastated and asking yourself why- questions you will not know the answers to. And if he does reply and you don't like what he has to say, you will still be upset. In no part of this will you be happy- or satisfied with the outcome. Don't do it xx
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 This is what I keep telling myself. I just don't feel like I've done enough to try and get him back....
geegirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I just don't feel like I've done enough to try and get him back.... Translation: I need to beg more.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 Translation: I need to beg more. I wouldn't beg, I wouldn't even say anything like 'Lets try again' I'd just explain why I said what I did...
geegirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I wouldn't beg, I wouldn't even say anything like 'Lets try again' I'd just explain why I said what I did... It's a passive way of begging. Hoping your explanation for the seventh time as to why you said it will make him change his mind. Lost, if you want to send the email, send it. As I said, sometimes breaking NC will be the only way to make you realize, at some point as to what a gift it is. Do what you need to do. Again, this festering is causing you more distress than acting on your need and accepting the consequences.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 It's a passive way of begging. Hoping your explanation for the seventh time as to why you said it will make him change his mind. Lost, if you want to send the email, send it. As I said, sometimes breaking NC will be the only way to make you realize, at some point as to what a gift it is. Do what you need to do. Again, this festering is causing you more distress than acting on your need and accepting the consequences. Is saying 'I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I just said it to be a cow' count as a proper apology? That's what I said when I text him. Honestly? Would that be enough for you to forgive? If yes then I leave it as it is.
geegirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Is saying 'I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I just said it to be a cow' count as a proper apology? That's what I said when I text him. Honestly? Would that be enough for you to forgive? If yes then I leave it as it is. "Now I'm being crazy! Thinking way too much. I keep posting on here just so I don't contact him. I was just thinking about how I worded my apology. I was in such I state that I can't actually remember what I said. I kind of remember saying something like 'I didn't think you were taking us seriously so I just said it to be a cow, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it' (That was one of them)" What did you say in your 6 messages to him aside from the above, whereby you already state you didn't think he was taking the R seriously and you said it to be a cow?
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 "Now I'm being crazy! Thinking way too much. I keep posting on here just so I don't contact him. I was just thinking about how I worded my apology. I was in such I state that I can't actually remember what I said. I kind of remember saying something like 'I didn't think you were taking us seriously so I just said it to be a cow, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it' (That was one of them)" What did you say in your 6 messages to him aside from the above, whereby you already state you didn't think he was taking the R seriously and you said it to be a cow? I can't remember. They were all very similar and all very short. I just remember that I kept saying I was sorry.
geegirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I can't remember. They were all very similar and all very short. I just remember that I kept saying I was sorry. It's up to you, Lost. If it helps you let go and move forward, regardless of the outcome, then send the email but make sure you write everything and close the door.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 It's up to you, Lost. If it helps you let go and move forward, regardless of the outcome, then send the email but make sure you write everything and close the door. Would you see those apologies as crumby?
geegirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Would you see those apologies as crumby? If it is the 6, I will say that you acted in desperation and needed to do damage control. If you or the R meant anything to him, it would have been enough for him to reach back to you. He would not have viewed it negatively. If the email, it only matters what it means to you. His viewpoint has no relevance because we will never know what he thinks.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 If it is the 6, I will say that you acted in desperation and needed to do damage control. If you or the R meant anything to him, it would have been enough for him to reach back to you. He would not have viewed it negatively. If the email, it only matters what it means to you. His viewpoint has no relevance because we will never know what he thinks. They were all very desperate and short, all saying the same thing.
geegirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 They were all very desperate and short, all saying the same thing. As I said, if you and the R meant something to him, it would have been enough to want to reach back to you. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 As I said, if you and the R meant something to him, it would have been enough to want to reach back to you. **** the email. Surely what I said wasn't unforgivable. 1
geegirl Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 **** the email. Surely what I said wasn't unforgivable. We all say things out of anger and hurt. You apologized more than once and he knows you didn't mean it because he knows how much you love him. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 We all say things out of anger and hurt. You apologized more than once and he knows you didn't mean it because he knows how much you love him. He even said 'You're being a bitch' so by saying that he must know that's exactly all I was being.
Amelie1980 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Give it up... I just did everything I could to try and get my ex to forgive me and stay with me. I feel a lot worse now and wished I had told him to f ..k it at the start of it. I feel dirty for all the apologizing etc........ Just let it Go for 2
Simon Phoenix Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 This is what I keep telling myself. I just don't feel like I've done enough to try and get him back.... He knows where you stand. Nothing you say will be a surprise or a revelation to him. You are more likely to cause yourself more pain than get any sort of meaningful response from him. And if you do this now, you'll do it again in a couple of weeks. You'll invent some other reason in your head to contact him and you will. Wash, rinse, repeat. At this point he knows what you have to say. If he wants to discuss it, he'll contact you. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 He knows where you stand. Nothing you say will be a surprise or a revelation to him. You are more likely to cause yourself more pain than get any sort of meaningful response from him. And if you do this now, you'll do it again in a couple of weeks. You'll invent some other reason in your head to contact him and you will. Wash, rinse, repeat. At this point he knows what you have to say. If he wants to discuss it, he'll contact you. Well it's been a week now. I've left him well alone. He quite clearly doesn't care or miss me so I won't be sending that email. 3
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