SpiralOut Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 In real life I am very private. I don't volunteer a lot of information about myself under most circumstances. For example, if I'm in a situation where socializing is NOT the main purpose, I WILL respond to people, answer their questions, try to be friendly. But I'll hold back information, especially if a topic comes up that I'd rather not get into and especially if I pick up a vibe from that person telling me I shouldn't trust them. If I'm in a social situation, such as a party, then yeah I'll start to volunteer a bit more information about myself because it would be weird if I didn't, under those circumstances. People are usually just fine with me the way I am. But every now and then I'll come across someone who just doesn't respond well to it. I don't think they understand that I'm being short with my responses on purpose. They will start poking and probing at me to try and get me to answer their questions in more detail. I don't think they understand that I don't WANT to answer it. Sometimes the tone of their voice becomes condescending, as if they think I don't understand how to make conversation. It used to (and still does) make me feel stressed out. It feels like they are trying to push me to behave in the way that they think I should. I don't think they understand that I am a private person. Am I imagining things, or are there people out there who just aren't able to grasp this concept? For the longest time I used to get angry at these people. I thought they were being dicks on purpose. But now I'm wondering, maybe they just don't know how to deal with people like me? It is very annoying when others misunderstand me and assume that I am a moron and speak to me as such, just because I am not a huge conversationalist. It seems like the pot calling the kettle black. What do you think?
Almond_Joy Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 If someone keeps asking you for info you're not volunteering then they're a bit obtuse. I am the same way, also, and I understand that stressful feeling. If someone keeps asking I usually start asking them questions. They either stop trying to interact, because they don't want to offer the same information they wanted from me, or they talk about themselves. I haven't had this situation happen in a while though - I think I've gravitated towards a nonchalant circle of folks - they don't ask many questions about anyone or anything lol. If their condescension annoys you you can also make it explicitly clear to them why you are abrupt by saying you are a private person or you do not want to share that information. May seem awkward but sometime people really don't get it and you have to spell it out for them like that. Then they either feel awkward for probing or think you snobbish or something lol. Sometimes you just can't win with people.
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