Castia Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 My first post on these forums thanks for reading Iv been seeing a girl for around 6 months everything was perfect we never argued or disagreed on anything and we had a lot in common. I love this girl and she was constantly saying how she loves me. We had a great Christmas then all of a sudden over the new year she ends the relationship. It's the most random/unexpected thing to ever happen to me has I thought we were both so happy. I was working on new years eve (daytime) and I get a text saying she's not well and is spending the night at her mums while she recovers, I was kinda annoyed because it was one of the most romantic/important nights of the year but I phoned her and wished her well without showing any disappointment and planned to see her new years day. New years day arrives and she's still not well and says she just needs some time alone to recover, now I have never had any reason to doubt her and I trust her 100% but this seemed a little fishy. Not a chance going by our previous months of dating that she would blow me off 2 days in a row, iv seen her sick before and she's wanted me around to 'look after her'. So the new year goes bye and 2 further days without actually seeing her or having very little contact then all of a sudden she ends the relationship by txt, says she's just not ready to be in a relationship and she wants to end it. Now id be able to accept that if this was a new relationship and if she wasn't telling me every day that she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me, it's like we went from being the happiest couple in the world to being finished without anything bad happening and for no apparent reason over the space of a few days. Iv found it hard to get over it so far mainly because I just don't understand what's happened. Iv just been thrown away by someone who I thought was having the time of her life and loves me very much. Is this a common thing? for a girl to be happy and in love to all of a sudden breaking it off?
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 It is very common for people's emotional side to change...it sadly can on a dime. However, she could have had it in her mind for a while, to leave you. Unfortunately girls do this...all the while telling you they love/care about you(they may love you..but not in that way.) And as always....guys can do this too.
rn0408 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Sounds like you dodged a bullet and loose cannon.
Coping Vortex Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 You will learn that women have this ability to throw the switch at any moment. Men can do it too but its less likely. A man will tend to hang on until the relationship dissolves. A women will make changes in her life to do what she feel is right in the long run. Even if she loves you like crazy there was something that made her feel unsafe or would be better for her in the long run even at the expense of feeling happy today. men tend to live for what they feel for today. The other issue is that she found someone else. There are a lot of women that have low self esteem issues (my ex for one) as soon as a man pays attention to them Bam!! they feel excited and wanted. It gives them some sort of validation they are looking for. Face it as guys we don't get hit on much but women do all the time. As a result they immediately feel like this new relationship is exciting and they see the current relationship as old. They convince themselves that they need to pursue it. However I have had a lot of exes come back once that new exciting feeling wears off. Then lies the issue with timing and relationships. A famous comedian had the greatest like to describe women and relationships. He said "Women love you until they don't". Trust me this site is full of guys blindsided by being dumped me included. 6weeks ago I got a text saying she wanted to end it out of the blue. I have been a wreck ever since. Give it time. I would say give her two months and asses the situation. It tales women a lot longer than men to come around. By then she will either come back or you will know that it s really over. In the mean time do what everyone says go NC. I was NC for 5 weeks and we are communicating a little now but I don't hold out hope.
Author Castia Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Thanks for the replies guys, it just feels good writing this down. I was thinking about her cheating Coping Vortex, it fits right in with her being 'sick' over the new year, she could easily have been out with somebody else. Like I said everything was great we couldn't see enough of each other then she 'blows' me off for 2 of the biggest days of the year. It's like somebody flicked a switch in her, we never argued or fell out hell I can't even remember us disagreeing on anything. She ends it and some of the txts since have been really unlike her, iv started seeing a nasty side to her that I didn't even know she had.
Author Castia Posted January 6, 2013 Author Posted January 6, 2013 I haven't had contact now for over 3 days and in all honesty the pain is starting to ease. I miss her and probably will for a while yet but Im coming to terms with the situation much faster than I thought. I can't stop thinking about her/us but that sickly/scared feeling id been having after the split is starting to die down, iv been taking plenty of walks to try clear my mind and keep myself busy over the weekend (hardest part of the week) and I feel better for it. The only thing that's annoying me still is the reason why she left me, I understand what she said but it just doesn't make sense considering how our relationship was but I just have to accept her decision and move on. I just thought id update the past few days, writing this down seems to help me out.
Author Castia Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 Just an update to the situation. After a week or so NC she contacted me at 11pm last night. Said she's sorry that she hurt me and that im a great guy and I deserve somebody better than her and she's sure someone special will come into my life soon. She asked how I was and hoped everything was OK. I don't understand why she decided to text me this but It felt kinda good knowing that she's at least thinking of me. Friday night was 'our' night we would usually go out or do something together. I know it probably doesn't mean anything in the long run but It felt nice knowing I was still on her mind.
na49 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 After a week or so NC she contacted me at 11pm last night. Said she's sorry that she hurt me and that im a great guy and I deserve somebody better than her and she's sure someone special will come into my life soon. She asked how I was and hoped everything was OK. :sick::sick::sick::sick: Bleh, reading this makes me sick. She's not sorry she hurt you. "You're a great guy, and deserve someone better than me" = "Feel sorry for ME in all of this! I'm totally the one who's hurting! wah wah wah I'm not good enough but you're not good enough for me either" That is such BS. That reminds me of something my ex would say. It's total horse sh*t. You were probably a nice guy. Not your problem, which is why she's saying that. She doesn't hate you after all of this, she just doesn't want you anymore. So she might as well hate you. Idk what it is with ex girlfriends and texting us late at night. I always used to get late night calls and texts that said crap like that. I also got texts on Christmas saying how she "missed me". Oooo boy you could imagine how messed up my head was this Christmas once I read that. It really doesn't mean squat though. She didn't put as much thought into it as you put into deciphering the hidden messages. She misses you. She doesn't want to lose you from her life because you were a good guy. You told her what she wanted to hear, when she wanted to hear it and made her feel good about herself. Hows about doing that again but just as her "best friend"?
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