LonelyKitten Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Now before I start getting the 'dump him' replies, Please know that I really want to work things out with my boyfriend more than anything. I would really like some sort of advice for this situation; We've been dating for about 6 months now. We also moved in together, It wasn't planned, it just happened. (One day y stayed over his place, then next, the next and then suddenly I was living there) At first sex was amazing. But now, I feel we're more than roommates than lovers. Fine we have sex once a week but I really have to beg for it. Ok, maybe not beg but like talk to him about it because if not be shows no initiative. Not that he ever, he isn't a very sexual person and he's quite reserve for the most part. The last two times we've done it, he has didn't cum. Which is weird because both sessions were weeks apart and I'd figure he'd cum... I don't know. It's nice he wants to please me when I ask. But I really do feel unwanted like I don't satisfy him... I don't know. How can I make him want me?
Author LonelyKitten Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Sadly I have, and he says he's just not that sexual. But that he likes doing it with me! Afterwards nothing happens. And I feel we have weekly re runs of he same conversation over and over again, silly fights included all because I can't control my temper because I just don't feel wanted. And every time it happens, I tell him. We fight. He says it's an annoying pattern. I say it's me trying to communicate my feeling to him. I just don't know anymore. :/
soccerrprp Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I'd also be concerned about the drop in sex. Great in the beginning, but now, not so much. Since you moved in together, right? I don't know, but I have a rule to never move in with my SO until married or have seriously made a LTR commitment. Too many couples tend to let things die down and become too comfortable, lazy after the chase, freshness is over. I personally feel that moving in together before really getting to know one another, COMPLETELY committed helps to foster some of this let down. He never initiated when the sex was good? I would try as the previous poster suggested and ask for more sex. Any guy that I know would drool at that. But you must also consider that he may not find you as desirable. Anything else change? Just my 2-cents.
rys Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Other than sex, does he make you feel unwanted/unattractive?
soccerrprp Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 ..and, oh, what of him? is he doing okay with work, etc. ? Does he seem depressed? Find out if his mental state is in order.
Casablanca Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I've never been in this situation, but I would guess you should ask him if everything is okay, ask him if he still is attracted to you? Have you changed since you two started dating? Put on a few pounds, don't use makeup anymore, etc?
Author LonelyKitten Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 No, he's always happy. Intact he often gets mad at me because I'm always 'depresses' but I'm not. It's more like frustrated...
Author LonelyKitten Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Maybe you're right... So I should move back to my house?
Author LonelyKitten Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Actually I've lost weight! She's my hair. He says he loves me, that he likes being intimate with me... I'm the one that doesn't feel like that's true. Maybe I need personal development or therapy. I'm so desperate by this.
Author LonelyKitten Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Lack of dates... Not that constant you're beautiful, kissing groping, couple stuff.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 You should try to share this with him, as well. You want a strong relationship, you have to communicate and see how he takes it. He may even change his style up.
veggirl Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 6 months is too soon to be in a practically sexless relationship!! Yes you should move back to where you were living--this is the type of thing that you easily could have known (no sex drive) before moving in if you'd waited a while..well lessons learned! You can't MAKE someone want to have sex more if they don't have a high sex drive. Why are you so majorly wanting this to work when you guys don't really have sex and you say he is not really affectionate etc on dates? Its only been 6 mos, this is around when people's true colors start coming out, you are seeing how he REALLY is now...you could put up with this forever? doubtful...sometimes you have to just acknowledge you are not compatible and move on accordingly...how long has the sex life been s.hitty for? out of the 6 mos you've been together, how long was sex regular for?
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