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Posting here so I can sleep, maybe some insight would be nice


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Posted (edited)

Hey guys,

 

So im sitting watching tv and the thoughts are creeping on me again. I have been doing good, I had the meeting with the ex back on Dec 15th and im starting to see why everyone said dont do it. I thought after seeing her and getting everything out in the open she would be more receptive and want me back but she isnt, shes throwing away 2 years of a long distance relationship.. we were almost there but she is choosing to "explore other options."

 

I dont think the kid will work out in the end but thats not my problem now, I know and I think im starting to think of things now that she will be going back to school where the new kid is waiting. The thought of her saying, "I cant wait to see you" when that used to be me just 4 months ago. The thought that she came back when she saw me moving on to just kick me to the curb again when I gave her another chance to work towards things. She said she wasnt ready but then shes ready to continue seeing this kid? (im assuming i know.. they are not official but they are exclusive)

 

One last thing that has me thinking... with her always giving me hope and saying we have one more chance to try this but not right now... giving me the hope i couldnt take it any longer. January 1 i put my foot down and said I wouldnt be anyone's second option and I need to move on. I called her selfish and told her I have greater ambitions in my life and all this stuff. Told her to make her instagram private so we can both move on as I will do the same..

 

to get a reply that its so hard for her to say it but I needed to move on and she was so terribly sorry for taking away my happiness but she knows this is the right thing to do right now. The thought of her maybe asking him to attend her sister's wedding in Feb which I helped them plan and made suggestions for....... it just frustrates me.

 

I know i need to keep pushing and it has only been 4 day since she replied to the message... ive went 2 months w/o talking to her and i know i can do it again. I fell for her crying back the first time.. i wont do it a second hopefully. I just hate that she writes stuff like, "Maybe our paths will cross in the future."

 

Its messing with my head and i really miss her family too

Edited by jags2bowl27
Posted

My ex sent mixed signals to me as well, and I was blind to notice her keeping in contact with this guy.

 

She said I was the only guy that she wanted to see her naked, make love with, spend the rest of her life with blah blah blah all bull**** now.

That was all in the heat of the moment when she was still in LOVE with ME. People's feelings can change.

 

Turns out (I assume from her Twitter picture) she hung out with him or even slept over at this house the day after we broke up. It has helped me move on and though I still think of her it does not really hurt me anymore.

 

I think it is because my ex is young and I can assume your ex is in her low 20's from still attending college. They want to try and explore different options but honestly they just want to try new things and have fun.

 

Sorry to sound blunt and mean but they want to try another guy's dick. The sooner you accept that cold sentence the sooner you can move on.

 

Every time she comes to your mind think of a negative trait about her. (My ex critized me for my flaws, always complained, never paid for herself, my wallet is so fat without her, she now lies constantly, and was deceitful)

Try and spend time with family/friends, go out , drink, meet new girls, and take care of yourself.

 

Life seems so dark without that special lady but I can sure as hell assure you it will get brighter. I am coming out of my man cave I have been dwelling in for the month of December and it feels good :)

  • Author
Posted
My ex sent mixed signals to me as well, and I was blind to notice her keeping in contact with this guy.

 

She said I was the only guy that she wanted to see her naked, make love with, spend the rest of her life with blah blah blah all bull**** now.

That was all in the heat of the moment when she was still in LOVE with ME. People's feelings can change.

 

Turns out (I assume from her Twitter picture) she hung out with him or even slept over at this house the day after we broke up. It has helped me move on and though I still think of her it does not really hurt me anymore.

 

I think it is because my ex is young and I can assume your ex is in her low 20's from still attending college. They want to try and explore different options but honestly they just want to try new things and have fun.

 

Sorry to sound blunt and mean but they want to try another guy's dick. The sooner you accept that cold sentence the sooner you can move on.

 

Every time she comes to your mind think of a negative trait about her. (My ex critized me for my flaws, always complained, never paid for herself, my wallet is so fat without her, she now lies constantly, and was deceitful)

Try and spend time with family/friends, go out , drink, meet new girls, and take care of yourself.

 

Life seems so dark without that special lady but I can sure as hell assure you it will get brighter. I am coming out of my man cave I have been dwelling in for the month of December and it feels good :)

 

Thanks for the response... And your exactly right that is all she wants, she isn't thinking about the future. The problem in having is everyone around me is acting like what she is doing is normal for a girl in college that hasn't had many relationships.... And I seriously think she will try and make an attempt to come back. The sad part is I really think we were good together and that's why she wanted me to hang on the sidelines... I'm right to say that even with growth there is no way we should be back together right

Posted

She might come back, but seriously think about it. If she was willing to throw away your relationship away like that why would you ever take her back into your life?

 

Yes your relationship might have been considered 'good' in your eyes but I am sure as hell in her eyes she saw it as a boring relationship that was holding it back in college.

 

What you do IF she even considers to try a relationship with you again is completely your call.

 

If my ex ever wanted to be in a relationship with me again, I would politely decline because it did not work out for a reason. SHE DECIDED TO LEAVE, while I was willing to work it out.

 

Of course you could always be her back up plan which is why you are on the sidelines, in case her Plan A does not work out you will be there to be her emotional tampon/doormat/ basically her BEACH.

 

It seems while you were on NC you did not move on with your life. Think about the progress you did in those two months of NC. Try and get outside of your comfort zone and live your life! I am sure you are young, single and ready to mingle! ;)

  • Author
Posted

Yeah I just don't know how I could ever see past her decision and it sucks that everyone around me says they get why she did it. She claims she wants to make sure the one she loves is really the one... I sayif you love someone you don't let them go! It's crazy how people think differently that's all

Posted

I understand exactly how you feel. Unfortunately I'm in the same boat as you. My ex dumped me once because she was curious with being with another guy. Now it has been 3 years and she dumped me again cause I had a lot of flaws in her eyes. All I can say is FORGET about people like that. Maybe you're young like me but also mature like me, and think long term and not playing games with I wanna try different things. Don't get me wrong people are free to do as they please with their lives, but in the end like at age 23 and up people want serious relationships. It isn't fair that mature people have to suffer for dumb people who don't know what they want. Maybe saying that a girl wants to try a different d*** is harsh but it proves a point. A girl like that want to have fun and experience different men.

Posted
Yeah I just don't know how I could ever see past her decision and it sucks that everyone around me says they get why she did it. She claims she wants to make sure the one she loves is really the one... I sayif you love someone you don't let them go! It's crazy how people think differently that's all

 

Her decision was to go live her life to the fullest, with no boundaries (no boyfriend) and to do what ever she wants.

 

My ex said the same thing , they are not SURE if YOU are really the ONE. They have their doubts so it is time to pack up and move on.

 

She is just giving you breadcrumbs and stringing you along! Like TaraMaiden says "Closure comes from within". You will get your own closure once you accept that your ex does not want to be with you.

 

Your ex put you down nicely because she was unsure of herself/you/the relationship you shared and wanted to explore other options.

 

It could be possible that you two get back in a relationship but don't dwell on it, seriously don't dwell on that hope. You need to move on with your life and accept that she herself DECIDED on her own to not be with you.

 

The path of the single man is ahead of you my friend, it may be rocky at first but it sure does get better the further you go on and move on with your life.

  • Author
Posted
Her decision was to go live her life to the fullest, with no boundaries (no boyfriend) and to do what ever she wants.

 

My ex said the same thing , they are not SURE if YOU are really the ONE. They have their doubts so it is time to pack up and move on.

 

She is just giving you breadcrumbs and stringing you along! Like TaraMaiden says "Closure comes from within". You will get your own closure once you accept that your ex does not want to be with you.

 

Your ex put you down nicely because she was unsure of herself/you/the relationship you shared and wanted to explore other options.

 

It could be possible that you two get back in a relationship but don't dwell on it, seriously don't dwell on that hope. You need to move on with your life and accept that she herself DECIDED on her own to not be with you.

 

The path of the single man is ahead of you my friend, it may be rocky at first but it sure does get better the further you go on and move on with your life.

 

Oh believe me, she has made it clear she doesnt want to be with me right now and i have come to terms wit that... but like i said, i know she will check in even though i sent her the final message on fb about not being anyones second option. Single life sucks right now, i have been on two dates with the best way to put it "creatures" lol and i was at a party with a ton of good looking blondes last night and I dont even have the confidence to go up to them. And the worst part, everyone around me asks if I have heard from my ex... constantly because no one can believe this is my ex... its not like her and honestly everyone thought we were perfect...

 

guess not:rolleyes:

Posted

Work on yourself, you keep mentioning that you know she will come back eventually - for whatever reason - Now is the time to hold up to your word and better yourself. What will she see when she comes back? Don't procrastinate, it could happen sooner then you'd like... The best way to confront her when this happens is to be as detached as can be. De more you will have moved on, the more you will be appealing (considered you worked on your physical and psychological problems). Keep your chin up, remember who you were- are- and will be. Walking up to pretty ladies won't be an issue once you have regained your confidence and self-esteem. It is a tough time but you need to work hard and harder to be succesfull.

Posted

And hey, don't be to hard on yourself. Live it one day at a time as much as possible. I know it is difficult when you know there will be contact in the future... There's just no need to decide today how you will react and wich path you will take when the time comes. It is wasting time thinking about it because until then, you will have work on bettering yourself and will probably have different feelings about the situation. It is also a waste of time because you don't know for sure in what state of mind she will be once she return. We can't predict those things, BUT we can prepare. Unfortunatly we don't have a question so we can't speculate awnsers. To prepare we must focus on our own person, regain your independance. Good luck :)

 

And since you told her that you will try and move on, do it.

If you told her you won't contact, don't.

Take responsibility for what you have said and act on it.

Forget about time! And slowly fade out of Love-Shack and other websites. Only come back to give good news. No more questions about what to do. You are far enough in the grieving process to move on without constant reassurance. Distance yourself to find and listen to yourself. :mad:

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