ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 This is more of a vent than anything else. Its been 3 months post BU and I'm not sure how long since I have initiated NC (lost track but its been awhile). In the past three months since we have broken up I have gone through a ton of changes both external and internal. The changes have been so drastic that friends that I haven't seen in awhile are awed at what has happened to me. I have changed my appearance for the better, advanced my career and more importantly matured tremendously at least emotionally. The breakup has forced me to focus on myself and recently I have been really happy or so I thought. For some reason these last couple of days I've been thinking about my ex. I have been having urges to reach out to her or at least check up on her facebook to see what shes up to. These urges are not strong enough where I would act on them but enough to annoy me. It seems that these urges stem from curiousity more than anything else. I know if I check up on her it will probably set me back but still i'm curious as to what she has been up to. Again, these urges are not strong enough where I would act on them but they are freaking annoying. Anyone else going through this?
th90 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Yes. Few days ago I started to have urges to break NC (8weeks) and I want to just catch up with my ex on how we've both been since the BU. I know it's too soon and if I do it then it'll probably set me back a hell lot. Then last night I dreamed of my ex came back to me and reconciled. Woke up from the dream and felt like crap because I know it won't ever happen. Feeling a bit depressed but overall still doing okay I guess. Just need to focus on myself and stop thinking so much.
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 Glad to see that I'm not the only one going through this crap. I definitely agree with you. We are doing well with NC because the alternative I know will set us both back to emotional hell. Do you know what triggers your urges? Im trying to determine whats causing mine. 8 weeks of NC is pretty impressive. I think my NC period is about that long maybe a little less than yours. I would think that at this point in time we would be able to move past this but it keeps rearing its ugly head every now and then....ugh! When will this be over????
FailedFirstLove Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 All the time!!! but I've given into my urges before and it did alot of damage. So I think I'm learning from that now. Every morning I wake up feeling like complete ****. I just want to call him have a talk. To Text him or something. But truthfully. I'm too scared of what I would hear. It most likely won't be wat I want. And I don't wanna go through hell all over again And I checked fb before and trust me. Worse feeling ever!!! knowing his happy and going out. Seeing happy photos when ur miserable. OMG don't do it. Save URSELF!!!!!
th90 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I think I'm coping pretty well and I'm amazed at myself for being so strong and really proud of it. It's because of that I guess. I want to show my ex I'm stronger than he thought I'd ever be. I want to shower him with love, compassion and kindness so he'd know I'm the one with the bigger heart. I know I'm gonna take a long time. I was with my ex for 7 years 3 months and 2 f*king weeks. I don't see an end to it anytime soon but I think the more I let go the better I feel.
th90 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 And I checked fb before and trust me. Worse feeling ever!!! knowing his happy and going out. Seeing happy photos when ur miserable. OMG don't do it. Save URSELF!!!!! Done that too. Totally sucked.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I think I'm coping pretty well and I'm amazed at myself for being so strong and really proud of it. It's because of that I guess. I want to show my ex I'm stronger than he thought I'd ever be. I want to shower him with love, compassion and kindness so he'd know I'm the one with the bigger heart. I know I'm gonna take a long time. I was with my ex for 7 years 3 months and 2 f*king weeks. I don't see an end to it anytime soon but I think the more I let go the better I feel. Good on you it must be so hard cause even I'm dying inside. I want to look back in the future and think thank god he left me cause I wasn't strong enough to but it was the best decision his ever made!!
th90 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Good on you it must be so hard cause even I'm dying inside. I want to look back in the future and think thank god he left me cause I wasn't strong enough to but it was the best decision his ever made!! You will. We all will We will meet someone better, who doesn't give up on us, who is way more compatible with us than our exes ever were, who'll always want to be with us and love us for who we are. Then we will have our exes to thank for dumping us.
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 All the time!!! but I've given into my urges before and it did alot of damage. So I think I'm learning from that now. Every morning I wake up feeling like complete ****. I just want to call him have a talk. To Text him or something. But truthfully. I'm too scared of what I would hear. It most likely won't be wat I want. And I don't wanna go through hell all over again And I checked fb before and trust me. Worse feeling ever!!! knowing his happy and going out. Seeing happy photos when ur miserable. OMG don't do it. Save URSELF!!!!! I think that is my biggest fear too. If I check up on her I'm afraid of what I will hear. Every now and then I would think about how shes having fun and dating a new guy and it would piss me off. I'm always afraid that there will be that one day that I will get weak and check on her facebook. This is why I had my account deactivated. I wanted to remove any chance of me being able to check up on her. I'm not sure how far you are post BU but I am 3 months out and I dream of her every freaking night. The mornings suck for me but its not as bad as it use to be. I mean I get kind of sad but not enough where it would affect me like it use to. Like I said I just want this crap to be over with.
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 I think I'm coping pretty well and I'm amazed at myself for being so strong and really proud of it. It's because of that I guess. I want to show my ex I'm stronger than he thought I'd ever be. I want to shower him with love, compassion and kindness so he'd know I'm the one with the bigger heart. I know I'm gonna take a long time. I was with my ex for 7 years 3 months and 2 f*king weeks. I don't see an end to it anytime soon but I think the more I let go the better I feel. lol...youre like me. I was with my ex for almost 9 years and we lived together and was engaged. I also think that I'm doing well. Its only been 3 months and I'm so proud of how far I've progressed and how strong I've been considering the length of time we were together. I'm hoping that I will be over this in about another 3 months time. People tell me that it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them....gosh I really hope thats not the case as I don't think I can handle all this lingering crap for another 4 years.
th90 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 lol...youre like me. I was with my ex for almost 9 years and we lived together and was engaged. I also think that I'm doing well. Its only been 3 months and I'm so proud of how far I've progressed and how strong I've been considering the length of time we were together. I'm hoping that I will be over this in about another 3 months time. People tell me that it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them....gosh I really hope thats not the case as I don't think I can handle all this lingering crap for another 4 years. You know my ex left me knowing that I have no one to turn to for any kind of support. Which is also why I want to show him how wrong he is about me. I know he has tonnes of friends (girls especially) who will help him get pass all his down moments if he's gonna get any after dumping me. As for me, I have to keep concentrating on my medical studies to make sure I'll be able to graduate in 2014. So it's obviously super hard for me to deal and cope not only with the BU but a lot of other things in my life. I saw on a website once that people say for every year you were with your ex, you'll take the same number of months to recover i.e. 3 years = 3 months. Well in that case you'll only need 9 months which sounds more comforting than 4 years haha
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