xoxo67 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 My guy and I are basically dating, were exclusive etc. I know he has been scared off and his confidence was shot in the past by a girl. It really bothers him. We havnt officially committed to each other but I want to make it so. I dont want to force him of course. I want him to too, which I know he does not want me with other guys either. I want him to want to be with me Im not cornering him or anything!! Im just asking what I should say or do about committing to him. Should I even bother?
naomii Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Trust me when I say if he wanted to commit, he would. You wouldnt have to bring it up. Has it been a reasonable amount of time to expect commitment? If yes, then he's stringing you along. If not, give him more time, dont pressure him, just tell him how you feel.
CptSaveAho Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Girls bring it up, guys accept or move on That's the way it works
newmoon Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 how long have you been dating? if it's been a long time (like 6 months plus) then there is nothing wrong with throwing a hint, but in almost every case a guy who is serious about you will bring it up first. they want to make sure you're just going to be sleeping with/kissing them. if this is early dating stages then wait, but anything over 6 months and he's probably still exploring options.
Maneater Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Girls bring it up, guys accept or move on That's the way it works Are you male? I feel like its this way now a days w dating. Men just expect women to bring up exclusivity and if they don't, the men assume the girl is not interested.
Pyro Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 My guy and I are basically dating, were exclusive etc. I know he has been scared off and his confidence was shot in the past by a girl. It really bothers him. We havnt officially committed to each other but I want to make it so. I dont want to force him of course. I want him to too, which I know he does not want me with other guys either. I want him to want to be with me Im not cornering him or anything!! Im just asking what I should say or do about committing to him. Should I even bother? Only one way to find out what he wants and that is to ask. Also it is primitive thinking to believe that it is the woman's job to ask about exclusivity. Whoever is ready first should ask first.
CptSaveAho Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) Are you male? I feel like its this way now a days w dating. Men just expect women to bring up exclusivity and if they don't, the men assume the girl is not interested. Yup, its your job to do it, even bring it up subtly Every girlfriend (ltr) that I was interested eventually said... ok lets date or lets be bf/gf... my response... I accept... usually 3-6 month and then both people profit You call it primitive... it's the way the world works Edited January 5, 2013 by CptSaveAho
Pyro Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Yup, its your job to do it, even bring it up subtly Every girlfriend (ltr) that I was interested eventually said... ok lets date or lets be bf/gf... my response... I accept... usually 3-6 month and then both people profit You call it primitive... it's the way the world works So the entire world works the way that it has happened to you? Glad that you could join the rest of us in reality. There is no rule stating that the guy can't ask to be exclusive. 1
SJC2008 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) Are you male? I feel like its this way now a days w dating. Men just expect women to bring up exclusivity and if they don't, the men assume the girl is not interested. I know you didn't ask me this but I wanna throw my 2 cents. This is based on the whole "challenge" aspect, that she "reeled him in". The challenge angle goes both ways though. If you look up enough dating andvice for both sexes you can pretty much interchange him/her. Edited January 5, 2013 by SJC2008 edit 1
CptSaveAho Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) So the entire world works the way that it has happened to you? Glad that you could join the rest of us in reality. There is no rule stating that the guy can't ask to be exclusive. Read every single guy thread on this forum about asking what happened when they ask for exclusivity.... Kaylans post... great example of asking for exclusivity... Women are cats, they like pawing, playing with a piece of string in front of their faces, they get bored walk away, let them... eventually you dangle the string again and they come back and play with it. What happens when you throw the string at them(ask for exclusivity) they hit it once and move on(get bored... challenge is gone) The only exception to this rule is marriage There are 2 women on this forum that give "ok" dating advice but they hide it behind their words... don't listen to advice from women on dating as a guy... get male friends Edited January 5, 2013 by CptSaveAho
Pyro Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Read every single guy thread on this forum about asking what happened when they ask for exclusivity.... Kaylans post... great example of asking for exclusivity... Women are cats, they like pawing, playing with a piece of string in front of their faces, they get bored walk away, let them... eventually you dangle the string again and they come back and play with it. What happens when you throw the string at them(ask for exclusivity) they hit it once and move on(get bored... challenge is gone) The only exception to this rule is marriage Threads from less than a half percent of the worlds male population doesn't give any indication that only the woman has the job of bringing up the topic. Do women generally bring it up more than men? Yes. Still ridiculous to say that men should never (not counting marriage here) bring up the topic of becoming exclusive. If he wants it then ask. 1
SJC2008 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Read every single guy thread on this forum about asking what happened when they ask for exclusivity.... Kaylans post... great example of asking for exclusivity... Women are cats, they like pawing, playing with a piece of string in front of their faces, they get bored walk away, let them... eventually you dangle the string again and they come back and play with it. What happens when you throw the string at them(ask for exclusivity) they hit it once and move on(get bored... challenge is gone) The only exception to this rule is marriage There are 2 women on this forum that give "ok" dating advice but they hide it behind their words... don't listen to advice from women on dating as a guy... get male friends Bad example on more than one front. For starters, he never asked her for exclusivity. Then you'll say he asked her what she was looking for... Yes he did! He told her he didn't wan't to rush into anything and she agreed and they continued as FWB. That's called communication, he didn't to lead her on (good man) and that was her out and she didn't take it. TBS they both acted like gf/bf and not FWB. Anyway, she seemed like she was pulling back and if you read the post clearly, it was because he was gonna go see her when he was off. She lived hours away and with her parents. So him driving that far to see her and meeting her parent (he said nothing about meeting them) was her "this is moving to fast" moment. She wasn't over some other dude and she slammed on the brakes. OP was dealing with an EA woman. I'm sure you'll have a counter to this but I'm stickin to my guns on this one homie!
runningfar Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 It's weird commitment wasn't a huge thing brought up in my relationship, it just was. He changed his Facebook status first I guess but he uses it more... My ex husband brought it up first. That was a long while ago... Time before that it didn't need said. The responses here are not my (admittedly limited because I have spent most my time in long term relationships) experience.
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