shahjahan Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 So, here's the gist of it: we were together for 6 months, but he broke up with me (it was pretty painful and back-and-forth) for "incomparibility issues", mainly worldview disagreements (religion, politics, views on marriage, family, future... me being the more liberal one, him being the Catholic of the two) almost two months ago. (Full story? Here). After about a month of NC from my side (he did sent me a couple fo christmas messages), now I get a message from him inviting me over for dinner. At his place. "I don't know how you'll react to this and I'll understand this if you don't think it's a good idea, but...." kind of message. WTF? After giving it some thought, I politely declined (by message) saying I'll be extremely busy this week (which is true), but what the hell is he up to? Is he really so silly to believe I'd be totally ok with a friendly chat over dinner at his place where we used to spend so many evenings together as a couple? Really??? I can't believe it's a "let's be friends and catch up" thing after I didn't contact him at all. What is this thing about, I wonder, inviting your ex alone to your place for dinner? After all, we will see each other in class ANYWAY, so what's the point?
movingforward2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 An ex did that to me. He said it was because he was thinking of giving this a second try and wanted us to hang around another. I would have went. If he asks again, and you are still interested in him, GO!
NoMoreJerks Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) OP -- I don't know if you've had sex with him (considering he's a Catholic, he might have objections to premarital sex? I don't know?), but if you HAVE, I 'd be careful about him treating you as a booty call / on-call girlfriend "just for sex." If not, then I am not sure why he'd want to invite you, and only you, to his place... I'd consider it really inappropriate... maybe some place in public, sure.. but at his place? no, sorry, but it's not gonna happen... if my ex invited me to his place after dumping me, and me going NC, I'd be suspicious about him wanting "make-up sex." Edited January 5, 2013 by NoMoreJerks
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Some people want to remain friends with exes. Some have alterior motives. Not sure if he does. But you clearly are uncomfortable with it. I don't blame you. It is painful being their friend. I wouldn't....you'll watch as they move on, and and it will tear at you. Keep a NC. You deserve better than friendzone, and someone of similar views. At worst, he feels like he made a mistake and wants you back...
Author shahjahan Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Thanks guys. I really have no idea still, what might be on his mind. I'm not even sure if I'd actually want him back, now that I have put so much effort and pain into forgetting about him. Maybe he just wants to be friends, but I think anyone with a little bit of emotional intelligence would know it's impossible, so why does he? I certainly don't want to be anywhere near the friendzone. Not now. And a booty call...? Flattering, but so what?
TaraMaiden Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 You're doing precisely all the right things, for precisely the right reasons. Read the NC guide in my signature.... And remember - it's never "What do they mean when they say/do this.....?" It's always - "What do I do, now?" And like I said - you're right, on all counts.
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