Necris Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) I was wondering how often are you approached, flirted with, etc? Also people you aren't attracted to still count for this question. Also how regularly people you are attracted to seem to be interested in you? How often do you approach people you are attracted to, flirt, etc.? How do they respond? Have trouble mistaking kindness for interest? I was going to think of more questions but I think that maybe enough. I guess to start this off I should put my response here, and no this thread isn't about me, but I am curious about the other posters on LoveShack. Like the difference between male and female responses or those that have some luck vs those with none. Anyway personally for myself being a guy I'm never approached which is fairly normal for most men I believe, as men we are the ones who are expected to approach, just a fact of life that I have no problem with. Though unfortunately I've really never had any women I can recall (not just counting the hot ones) being interested in me, now back in 9th grade in High School there was a girl that tried to flirt with me but she flirted with everybody, and at the time I didn't understand what flirting was. Then again there may have been some women that were interested in me but I never picked up on, but I don't know. I do have a problem with always mistaking any sort of kindness towards me as interest, but it always turns out she was just being nice or I'm just making up things in my head. Now I do try to flirt with girls as often as possible, randomly, all the time since that is what my friends who are highly successful with women do, so I try to imitate them a little to see where that takes me. It is kind of funny though how they are able to get women laughing, smiling, and interested so easily, while I'm usually met with a look of disinterest and "why is this guy talking to me":lmao:. Unfortunately as I've stated before I'm pretty bad at this dating thing, seeing as how I'm a virgin, never kissed, never had a gf, and can't seem to ever get at least a 2nd date. But its all good I just need to work on not caring about any of this and do something else. Edited January 5, 2013 by Necris
todreaminblue Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I was wondering how often are you approached, flirted with, etc? Also people you aren't attracted to still count for this question. Also how regularly people you are attracted to seem to be interested in you? How often do you approach people you are attracted to, flirt, etc.? How do they respond? Have trouble mistaking kindness for interest? I was going to think of more questions but I think that maybe enough. I guess to start this off I should put my response here, and no this thread isn't about me, but I am curious about the other posters on LoveShack. Like the difference between male and female responses or those that have some luck vs those with none. Anyway personally for myself being a guy I'm never approached which is fairly normal for most men I believe, as men we are the ones who are expected to approach, just a fact of life that I have no problem with. Though unfortunately I've really never had any women I can recall (not just counting the hot ones) being interested in me, now back in 9th grade in High School there was a girl that tried to flirt with me but she flirted with everybody, and at the time I didn't understand what flirting was. Then again there may have been some women that were interested in me but I never picked up on, but I don't know. I do have a problem with always mistaking any sort of kindness towards me as interest, but it always turns out she was just being nice or I'm just making up things in my head. Now I do try to flirt with girls as often as possible, randomly, all the time since that is what my friends who are highly successful with women do, so I try to imitate them a little to see where that takes me. It is kind of funny though how they are able to get women laughing, smiling, and interested so easily, while I'm usually met with a look of disinterest:lmao:. Unfortunately as I've stated before I'm pretty bad at this dating thing, seeing as how I'm a virgin, never kissed, never had a gf, and can't seem to ever get at least a 2nd date. I know i am being flirted with because i feel uncomfortable,its pretty direct comments that make me feel this way, most guys who flirt with me agressively flirt, and i tell them to back off or i make an excuse and cut and run, I am nto a touchy feely kinda girl dont hug guys, dont touch them if i am nto interested...so when they invade my personal space its pretty obvious......i dont kiss guys unless they are mine, so when they go for the kiss on the cheek i wont kiss back......ill go cheek to cheek....... my kindness, this is going to make me sound conceited but I am not.......has caused me issues........ i listen to guys and i try to help them out they take it as interest, it happened when i was younger and it happens with guys i come into contact with, I let a guy stay overnight once when i was younger he missed the train he had a wife and kids who had left him, i was living with my now ex,He was upset and wanted to knwo how to get his wife back, i was only a teen, he was 40 soemthing....i spoke to him fro a coupel fo hours made him laugh and said he coudl stay the night, he started moaning my name in his sleep, so i guess he mistook my kindness for interest....freaked me out a bit it was my ex who told me he had never been so creeped out....this happened recently with soem one i was trying to help another guy with gf probs......he go tdrunk and cam earound and i said he coudlnt come anymore if he turned up drunk, he started begging and hugging me kissing my cheek, makes me feel as i said conceited i dotn want these attractions...i am very careful about leading guys on...a couple of years ago a guy jumped into a car to go hoem with me to my friends place uninvited.....he had just lost his girlfriend in a car crash.......... so yes, i feel soemtimes kindness is often misinterpreted for interest....if a guy is broken i find them or they find me ...if people are broken or need help they find me.......i am not bragging it gets taxing on my psyche....i feel like a freak......i have issues myself major ones.....i am dysfunctional but functioning....i accept people from all walks of life is the only thing i can come up with.....and i always have........when i was ten this littl eboy was very sick he belonged to oen fo my grandmothers friends.......so i had him on my lap ....he wouldnt go to anyone else he just wanted to stay with me........i still remember sitting with him under my grandmothers house and we patted my grandmothers dog together........see....im a freak....i had to hold him for hours...he got upset when i tried to put him down....so i just didnt.......so with guys.....if i hug them first........they dont know it.....but i dont do it at all....i never even hugged my father...or my step father.....they have hugged me...i dotn initiate unless i am attracted to soemone........i am not really helping you necris.........i think i am almost an exception to the rule of what to go by....smilin.......but i do know you have to not mistake kindness for interest it would make most women uncomfortable........good luck...deb
ThaWholigan Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Maybe on average a couple of times every month if I'm very social. Usually it happens in clusters, I'll get nothing for a couple months, then for a few weeks girls just keep wafting around my vicinity yet I never took the hint. It coincided with a time when I was starting to come into my own and look a bit better. Right now I'm at another phase of self-improvement. Perhaps it will increase once it is over. Do I approach? Sometimes, depends on if I see someone I like. Last girl I approached, I dated for 6 weeks - didn't work out too well, she found someone who was a little further along in life than I (older). Women usually are kind in my experience, save for a few embarrassing nights at clubs. Never mistake it for interest. Only time you truly know is if they try to f*ck you . 2
todreaminblue Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Maybe on average a couple of times every month if I'm very social. Usually it happens in clusters, I'll get nothing for a couple months, then for a few weeks girls just keep wafting around my vicinity yet I never took the hint. It coincided with a time when I was starting to come into my own and look a bit better. Right now I'm at another phase of self-improvement. Perhaps it will increase once it is over. Do I approach? Sometimes, depends on if I see someone I like. Last girl I approached, I dated for 6 weeks - didn't work out too well, she found someone who was a little further along in life than I (older). Women usually are kind in my experience, save for a few embarrassing nights at clubs. Never mistake it for interest. Only time you truly know is if they try to f*ck you . minus the ****ing part i tend to agree.....deb 1
carhill Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 IME, women are generally pretty open and friendly with me but rarely flirtatious. The last time a woman flirted with me openly was about six weeks ago and she was married. That's fairly common, since most women I interact with, known and unknown, are married, meaning they wear wedding rings. I've had moments of curiosity about a few in my travels who appeared to be single, feeling a perhaps flirtatious vibe from them, but they were young enough to be my daughter so I discounted that. I've learned through harsh experience that it is consistent interest over time which defines the sincere amongst the 'others'. YMMV. 1
iris219 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I'm flirted with a lot, but that doesn't necessarily equate to romantic interest. 3
Ross MwcFan Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I'm flirted with a lot, but that doesn't necessarily equate to romantic interest. Are you the one who was saying it's no big deal if someone lives their whole life never getting to experience anything romantic/sexual, and that losing a limb is way worse?
iris219 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Are you the one who was saying it's no big deal if someone lives their whole life never getting to experience anything romantic/sexual, and that losing a limb is way worse? I vaguely remember that thread and I believe I posted something saying I would choose celibacy over losing limb. I'm celibate now. Why do you ask?
Ross MwcFan Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I vaguely remember that thread and I believe I posted something saying I would choose celibacy over losing limb. I'm celibate now. Why do you ask? I wonder if you'd feel differently if you was never flirted with, and never had any experience, and knew this would probably continue for the rest of your life? I just find it more insulting, when someone tells me it's not a big deal and I should feel bad for thinking it's worse than losing a limb, when they themselves are experiencing interest thrown at them left right and centre, and getting to experience relationships and everything.
iris219 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I wonder if you'd feel differently if you was never flirted with, and never had any experience, and knew this would probably continue for the rest of your life? I just find it more insulting, when someone tells me it's not a big deal and I should feel bad for thinking it's worse than losing a limb, when they themselves are experiencing interest thrown at them left right and centre, and getting to experience relationships and everything. I told you how I felt, not how you should feel. I answered a question posed in a previous thread based on my own personal experience. 1
carhill Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Considering the dangerous work I do and having dealt with the aftermath of my best friend running his hand through my table saw on a job, trust me, celibacy is a cakewalk. Don't even think of losing a limb compared to celibacy, or even attention from women. Fuggetaboutit. Life is too valuable. I remind married women of this when they're 'playing with me. How valuable it is to be married and have someone love one like that. It's good stuff.
somedude81 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) I think some of the big girls in my salsa class flirted with me but I'm prone to mistaking friendliness as interest. Every woman who I thought was flirting with me in the past 5 years wanted nothing more than friendship when I tried to make some sort of move. The only conclusion that I can come to is that nobody has actually flirted with or shown interest in me for as long as I've been in my current school. Edited January 5, 2013 by somedude81
ThaWholigan Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I think some of the big girls in my salsa class flirted with me but I'm prone to mistaking friendliness as interest. Every woman who I thought was flirting with me in the past 5 years wanted nothing more than friendship when I tried to make some sort of move. The only conclusion that I can come to is that nobody has actually flirted with or shown interest in me for as long as I've been in my current school. It's possible that you made your moves too late, or simply didn't flirt back. I lost a lot of interest that way and didn't realize it until a lot later.
Author Necris Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 I know i am being flirted with because i feel uncomfortable,its pretty direct comments that make me feel this way, most guys who flirt with me agressively flirt, and i tell them to back off or i make an excuse and cut and run, I am nto a touchy feely kinda girl dont hug guys, dont touch them if i am nto interested...so when they invade my personal space its pretty obvious......i dont kiss guys unless they are mine, so when they go for the kiss on the cheek i wont kiss back......ill go cheek to cheek....... my kindness, this is going to make me sound conceited but I am not.......has caused me issues........ i listen to guys and i try to help them out they take it as interest, it happened when i was younger and it happens with guys i come into contact with, I let a guy stay overnight once when i was younger he missed the train he had a wife and kids who had left him, i was living with my now ex,He was upset and wanted to knwo how to get his wife back, i was only a teen, he was 40 soemthing....i spoke to him fro a coupel fo hours made him laugh and said he coudl stay the night, he started moaning my name in his sleep, so i guess he mistook my kindness for interest....freaked me out a bit it was my ex who told me he had never been so creeped out....this happened recently with soem one i was trying to help another guy with gf probs......he go tdrunk and cam earound and i said he coudlnt come anymore if he turned up drunk, he started begging and hugging me kissing my cheek, makes me feel as i said conceited i dotn want these attractions...i am very careful about leading guys on...a couple of years ago a guy jumped into a car to go hoem with me to my friends place uninvited.....he had just lost his girlfriend in a car crash.......... so yes, i feel soemtimes kindness is often misinterpreted for interest....if a guy is broken i find them or they find me ...if people are broken or need help they find me.......i am not bragging it gets taxing on my psyche....i feel like a freak......i have issues myself major ones.....i am dysfunctional but functioning....i accept people from all walks of life is the only thing i can come up with.....and i always have........when i was ten this littl eboy was very sick he belonged to oen fo my grandmothers friends.......so i had him on my lap ....he wouldnt go to anyone else he just wanted to stay with me........i still remember sitting with him under my grandmothers house and we patted my grandmothers dog together........see....im a freak....i had to hold him for hours...he got upset when i tried to put him down....so i just didnt.......so with guys.....if i hug them first........they dont know it.....but i dont do it at all....i never even hugged my father...or my step father.....they have hugged me...i dotn initiate unless i am attracted to soemone........i am not really helping you necris.........i think i am almost an exception to the rule of what to go by....smilin.......but i do know you have to not mistake kindness for interest it would make most women uncomfortable........good luck...deb Not to sound rude or anything, but I find it very difficult to read and understand your posts.
straightshooter82 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Every now and then when I go out I get approached by beautiful women non-stop, but that seems to only be when I visit an establishment that has a stage in the middle with some long shiny poles attached. When I go out to normal bars and clubs I rarely get approached. Thinking back on the past, I've had times when girls would smile at me when we made eye contact or would linger in my space when at a bar, but I don't think I've ever had a woman approach me and directly express her interest. I don't do much approaching of women either unfortunately. Whenever I go out all the women are either in large packs or already with men.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 (edited) I was wondering how often are you approached, flirted with, etc? Also people you aren't attracted to still count for this question. Also how regularly people you are attracted to seem to be interested in you? How often do you approach people you are attracted to, flirt, etc.? How do they respond? Have trouble mistaking kindness for interest? I was going to think of more questions but I think that maybe enough. I guess to start this off I should put my response here, and no this thread isn't about me, but I am curious about the other posters on LoveShack. Like the difference between male and female responses or those that have some luck vs those with none. Anyway personally for myself being a guy I'm never approached which is fairly normal for most men I believe, as men we are the ones who are expected to approach, just a fact of life that I have no problem with. Though unfortunately I've really never had any women I can recall (not just counting the hot ones) being interested in me, now back in 9th grade in High School there was a girl that tried to flirt with me but she flirted with everybody, and at the time I didn't understand what flirting was. Then again there may have been some women that were interested in me but I never picked up on, but I don't know. I do have a problem with always mistaking any sort of kindness towards me as interest, but it always turns out she was just being nice or I'm just making up things in my head. Now I do try to flirt with girls as often as possible, randomly, all the time since that is what my friends who are highly successful with women do, so I try to imitate them a little to see where that takes me. It is kind of funny though how they are able to get women laughing, smiling, and interested so easily, while I'm usually met with a look of disinterest and "why is this guy talking to me":lmao:. Unfortunately as I've stated before I'm pretty bad at this dating thing, seeing as how I'm a virgin, never kissed, never had a gf, and can't seem to ever get at least a 2nd date. But its all good I just need to work on not caring about any of this and do something else. This is like one of those questions I used to dread that would come up at drinking parties. Cause other guys get hit on a decent amount. Maybe in my life, less than 5 times. And none of them were for sure interest. -When I was in college, a girl at a frat party asked me to dance when she could have asked a ton of other dudes. -A guy offered to kiss me once. -A girl I worked with called me cute in front of other people, but she clearly wasn't interested. It's pretty sad that I remember this stuff even though some of it was like a decade and a half ago. When most people can't even remember the names of people they've had sex with. I approach women somewhat often, but there's peaks and valleys. Just about every woman who has shown the most blatant signs of interest ended up not being interested. Yep. I've had to work pretty hard for everything I've ever gotten. I get kinda sad when I see how easy it is for some other guys. I know why you made this post. You're not alone. I'm here with you. Edited January 5, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember
somedude81 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Not to sound rude or anything, but I find it very difficult to read and understand your posts. Heh, when ever I see one of her posts that's over a line or two long I just skip it.
Ross MwcFan Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I can sit on a bench at the park staring at the ground and picking my nose, and women will approach me. Maybe that sounds arrogant, but its just how it is. I'm not completely sure why....its just always been that way. Women do stupid stuff to get my attention, and beautiful women at that. It's really like I'm the girl and the girls are guys. My STBXW was an insecure woman, even though she is absolutely gorgeous. It was a HUGE problem for her. She hated the attention women gave me, even though I wasn't seeking it. It's pretty much like this.....if I leave the house, I meet a girl. You have the right genes, people like me don't.
Vercetti Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 1. Once a week / month get approached by someone that gives me that vibe. My wife seems to notice more then that. Perhaps only get that feeling when the person is my type, so simply oblivious of the others. 2. Can't recall any girl that was ever nice to me that wasn't intimate with in some way. Memory can be selective about nice. 3. Can't recall any girl pined over that couldn't get ( well can think of one, waitress at my job when was 16...growing pain ). 4. I flirt all the time...will complement, joke, ask questions, network with about anyone. Sometimes see what can get away with. Hummm if I stand about here bet she will touch my arm, arm gets touched. 1
trevzilla Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I get quite a few really hot younger women smiling at me when I walk around my neighborhood. I don't know if they're just being friendly or what. I'm not the spontaneous type who will stop them on the spot and try to get a number, which is a shame because it's probably a pretty good opportunity. I could be wrong though and they may just be flirty and friendly. It definitely depends on my mood though, I get way more when I'm up. Lately I've been super depressed and I think it's been a couple of months since that's happened. Sometimes I get one or two a week. Also my theory is that hot women are more confident and a lot more likely to just smile at you.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I get flirted with and approached by someone new about onece a week. The thing is, as carhill has said, I only let myself get excited by people who show their interest over time. I like to get to know people, let them know what my deal is. I let them process that and if they are still interested after knowing that then I get really excited.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 It's WAAAAY more than just genetics. I personally don't think I'm super attractive, but the attention I get from women seems to contradict that (for the record, I hate talking about this crap because there's no way to do it without sounding arrogant, and I'm not arrogant). A lot of it has to do with attitude, persona, style (I keep it simple), confidence, etc. For me, I've always been about individuality, having fun and not trying to impress anybody. My physical stats are nice, and those attributes might get my foot in the door, but its humor, intelligence, good stories, insightfulness etc that are the hook. Also, I don't really care if I meet women, and apathy is the #1 weapon in the arsenal against women. I don't think we're even talking about that. This thread is about that initial "hey there good lookin" kind of interest. This is way before they even speak to you and is 100% visual. Granted, 90% of the time after that initial interest the first few senteces somoene says ruel them out as a potential. 1
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