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Fell apart today at the gym - what a mess I am


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Posted

So, after reading it so many times here on LS, I decided I had to get moving and go back to the gym. I had already joined in September but then stopped going at the beginning of December, when things got really rough (and then NC began). I felt almost cheerful while going there, already foreseeing the well-being I would get from the physical activity, getting fit again, etc. But I started the class and after only 15 minutes I started getting tired, dizzy and nauseous, I tried to keep up but I just had to leave and go get some rest. I went away fighting back the tears, cause I felt so humiliated and out of options. I know it can be due just to lack of exercise, but it all felt so pointless, I'm just too weak. Every part of me is weak: my mind is unreliable, my emotions are out of control, even my body doesn't work. I'm really trying, but I'm such a mess.

Posted

i was the same, dreading going back in tomorrow.

Posted

It's awful when you have to drag yourself around and you can't get enthused about anything. Maybe you can just start off with walking and then gradually build up to more strenuous exercise - sometimes it's better to be out in nature than indoors. Are you eating and sleeping enough? Just make sure that you're looking after yourself as well as you can, and don't force yourself to do exercise that is too strenuous if you're not feeling strong enough. I've found that yoga combined with meditation is really helpful as it helps you get centered and calm, and in the present moment and out of your head. Try and nurture yourself as much as you can. Take care, you will get stronger.

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Posted

I feel you. Before my break-up I did workouts every other day, after I just laid in bed for days and didn't eat. Of course this only made it worse because when you don't eat your body feeds off your muscle and fat, so you only end up losing muscle.

 

Building self-confidence really is the only way to pick yourself up. I wrote down a list of all the positive things about myself, and I try to remind myself of these things everyday. It's not an instant cure, but it has definitely helped me.

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Posted (edited)
But I started the class and after only 15 minutes I started getting tired, dizzy and nauseous, I tried to keep up but I just had to leave and go get some rest. I went away fighting back the tears, cause I felt so humiliated and out of options. I know it can be due just to lack of exercise, but it all felt so pointless, I'm just too weak.

yeah sangel, thats not how it is. you are not weak! also, you can decide that you are not weak. just by deciding you are strong! i bet you are, too.

try to get a healthy daily routine (work or school), eat well, start with light exercise and work it up as you go, and you will be feeling better in no time, emotionally and physically. don't expect miracles from yourself. good luck! i am sure you will kick ass.

Edited by user6667
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Posted

Hi all, thank you for the kind words. I'll try taking it easy and not giving up. I'll have to get stronger sooner or later (and maybe "kick ass" again... :p )

 

@Sarahbee: thanks a lot for your interest, unfortunately not eating enough is not really an issue. On the contrary, I look for comfort in food more than I should, so I really hope I'll soon be able to work out regularly again. The only time I ever lose my appetite is when I'm happily in love with someone new and this is definitely not the case...

 

I'll try going to the gym again tomorrow and maybe I'll start with something easier. Hopefully my body will cooperate more this time. I really need a way to get out of this.

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Posted
Building self-confidence really is the only way to pick yourself up. I wrote down a list of all the positive things about myself, and I try to remind myself of these things everyday. It's not an instant cure, but it has definitely helped me.

 

Thank you Katie, but the fact is, I don't feel that bad about myself. I know what's good about me and, although I'd like to improve many things, I wouldn't change for anyone and I know it wasn't my fault if things didn't work out. I'm just REALLY discouraged - I know there's nothing wrong with me, but it seems I'm not really compatible with most guys out there. So I can keep telling myself how much I'm worthy, but finding a good match is another story. I'll just focus on being ok on my own, cause I'm done taking chances.

Posted

i feel for you hang in there, many things seem difficult these days but keep going one foot forward.

ive just accepted that im going to end up crying doing a lot of stuff, i was crying at the grocery store, and when i can home and was stocking my cabinets, i was crying like a baby then to but the stuff got done.

though i do cry a lot less these days, reading your story impacted me.

i think one day i went to the gym because i was crying non stop that day it helped to really get the heart rate up for sure. now that im laid off i need to start going a lot more

you can do it, f those that reject us

ive ended up crawling to church, they say jesus will never ever reject us and will love us forever, so im gonna try my best to goto church everyday now, maybe something like that could help you too so far its helped me.

i mean think about it, god loves us so much he sent a pert of him self to get tortured and killed, just for talking about love and forgiveness. i mean there were other things there that got him killed but ultimately that dude died for love, a love for all of us unrelenting, unceasing

Posted

But I started the class and after only 15 minutes I started getting tired, dizzy and nauseous, I tried to keep up but I just had to leave and go get some rest. I went away fighting back the tears, cause I felt so humiliated and out of options.

 

First, you should feel good for taking the step and returning to the gym. Second, you should understand that progress in healing from a breakup works the same way as progress in gaining physical health: everyone works at their own pace!

 

To heck with a "class". When I made my return to the gym after a few months of heartbreak, all I did for weeks was cardio. Work at your own pace, not one that someone else sets for you.

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Posted
First, you should feel good for taking the step and returning to the gym. Second, you should understand that progress in healing from a breakup works the same way as progress in gaining physical health: everyone works at their own pace!

 

To heck with a "class". When I made my return to the gym after a few months of heartbreak, all I did for weeks was cardio. Work at your own pace, not one that someone else sets for you.

 

Thank you, Mr Scorpio. The fact is that I used to really enjoy that class and I was pretty sure it would have made me feel good, so it was discouraging to see that I wasn't even able to finish it, let alone enjoying it. I guess I'll have to step back and treat my body as if I was recovering from surgery. It's crazy on how many levels heartbreak can maim us.

 

Anyway I'm feeling a bit better today, luckily music still works. I'll definitely focus on it more, in fact I'm resuming my singing lessons tomorrow. I'll probably end up singing just depressing ballads, but maybe it will be a way to pour it all out :p

 

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, it means a lot!

Posted
Thank you, Mr Scorpio. The fact is that I used to really enjoy that class and I was pretty sure it would have made me feel good, so it was discouraging to see that I wasn't even able to finish it, let alone enjoying it. I guess I'll have to step back and treat my body as if I was recovering from surgery. It's crazy on how many levels heartbreak can maim us.

 

Anyway I'm feeling a bit better today, luckily music still works. I'll definitely focus on it more, in fact I'm resuming my singing lessons tomorrow. I'll probably end up singing just depressing ballads, but maybe it will be a way to pour it all out :p

 

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, it means a lot!

 

I also do a class at the gym, about 3 times a week for one hour (M,W,F). My relationship ended Wednesday night. I was not emotionally able to go Friday. I managed to go do 2 miles on an elliptical Saturday (15 minutes) and promptly ran to my car and burst into tears. I tried again today and just didn't have the energy. I haven't been eating much and I feel weak. But, I did make it through. I came home and tried to eat a little something. It is really difficult because I am an active person and I feel like that's been taken away from me for the time being.

 

Just keep trying :)

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Posted

Thank you guys, it is so good to read about your similar experiences! Great advice and inspiring words. And I would have never suspected that the gym was the test bench for so many broken-hearted people...

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Posted

Today I discovered that the only thing worse than a difficult return to the gym is a gynaecological visit where you have to explain that no, you won't need that particular test since you are not having sex and you don't expect to have it again anytime soon... and all the time fighting back the tears and wanting to explain to the doctor that the only man you would ever want to touch you is a million miles away and is not coming back. But I figured the doctor wouldn't be interested in that story...

Needless to say, I cried all the way home. Definitely not one of my best days.

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Posted

Quick follow-up: thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, I went back to the gym yesterday and started with something easier, at my own pace. Didn't make a lot of progress, but it was something... I'll try that class again tomorrow if I feel strong enough, and if I can't do it, I'll go back to my own work-out. At least it doesn't feel like every part of me is falling to pieces... something still works.

It didn't help that he texted me today... but I kept control and sent a polite, but very short reply. God knows how many other things I would have wanted to write, but I know it wouldn't help. Miss him like crazy, but at least I'm proud of myself for handling this unexpected contact.

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Posted

When I was dumped I took the advice of a friend & started back at the gym. It wasn't easy, the first time I went I was running on a treadmill & was over thinking everything that had happened & broke down in tears. It took a few decent tries before it started to make me feel better! But keep at it it pays off.

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