smurf38 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I know we should all work at our marriages but im tearing myself up because i know i should but also feel i deserve better... Im 38 on my second marriage, i have 3 children, 12 year old boy from my first marriage and a 4 year old and 2 year old girls from my second. my husband and i are seperated at present and have been since march 2012, but since aug 2012 he has been wanting to come back. he is seeking advise from relate to help him with his issues as i said we wouldnt work if he didnt, but i still dont know if i dare take him back again as i was so hurt the first time, he then came back and left again leaving me begging him to stay but he didnt, so i slowly built myself up and met a lovely man who i was very fond of but not ready for anything serious as i still loved my husband. my husband also put himself about rather alot and saw a girl for some time. we live in a small town so bumping into his conquests happen at time to time, plus while i was trying to pick myself up i confided in a friend about my husband but only to find out that he has slept with her too, but i took him back for him to leave the second time as i could not forget the hurt, my son also started to become a moody boy with a bad attitude and my husband said he couldnt handle him. so again he left. i went on antidepressants as i couldnt operate and needed help. but my kids kept me going, as i said i met a guy i moved house and rebuilt myslef but couldnt commit to this wonderful man untill i was over my husband he understood but said he would wait for me. but then my husband started to text wanting to come back pulling at my heart strings and we are now here, him seeing a councillor and really trying, building a relationship with my son and he seems to be changing, we still live apart as i said im not ready for him to move back, the wonderful man is still in touch hoping i dont take my husband back but we are good friends. i dont want another divorce or deprive my kids of having there daddy back home as they miss him dearly and i dont know if i can let go, i am happy on my own but am scared to end our marriage once and for all, i also still love my husband but also remeber how sad and hurt i felt the two times he left us before and that hold me back, i get close to him and then think what if he hurts us all again, i dont want me or the kids to go through that again, my 12 year old hated him for it and still said he worries. i still am very angry at him for sleeping around so much one being a now ex friend and hes still throws the man i was seeing in my face. are we over? can i trust him not to walk again. all this plus he has 3 children from 2 previous realtioships to which the mothers are very demanding, we have always rowed as i felt second best. the relate coincillor said she is amazed we have lasted so long. but im questioning my feelings now and im not sure if its just the hurt. advise seriously needed
jf2good Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 If there was a dog involved this would make a great country song. Too messed up for me to recommend anything. Just is bad situation for ALL the children involved from all the relationships. I don't know why your involved with a new man so fast before even divorced. It is not right for him to bring that up against you, but I can as things aren't settled between you and him and that was the wrong choice. Too late now.
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