Charlene78 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) I met my husband 6 years ago and we married roughly over a year ago. He is from a wealthy family and has an influential job. Long before we married I was asked to sign a number of contracts. Example. One contract states that I agreed to give him offspring. Another contract stated that I would marry him before giving offspring. This was all established before we married. In his family, this is how things go. His family is of old money and nothing is left to chance, everything is arranged in advance and contracts are used to make sure that people from outside the family fulfill their "promises". You might think it is naive to sign such a contract, but this isn't something that is unusual in certain wealthy families. They try to protect their wealth this way, so at the time I didn't think much of it and I thought it made sense that they'd use contracts to protect their wealth. I myself do not come from a very wealthy family and before I met him I made my own money. I still do, but I have a different job. The kind of job I have now pays a lot better than my old one and I got the job through connections of his family. When we met things were amazing. They usually are in the initial stages and I thought I had landed in a fairy tale. Boy was I wrong. It turned out that my husband, which was still my boyfriend back then, cheated with a lot of women, constantly. I was heartbroken. But at the time when all this came out, I had already signed the contracts. So I did the only thing that I felt I could do. I ran away, far away, to get away from everything. But every time I ran away, employees of my husband found me and talked me into coming back, reminding me of the contracts that I signed and the legal consequences of breaking them. And every time I came back, he cheated again. I ran away several times, sometimes very far away to other countries. I was heartbroken and just wanted a normal life again. I am crying while I write this, but here I am today, married to him and it's too late to turn back now. I am bound to him, but not by love. I just don't know how to cope anymore or how to deal with this. I am all alone in this and I don't know what I can do. I feel that I have exhausted my options, because if running away doesn't even help, then what options do I have left? Edited January 4, 2013 by Charlene78
Author Charlene78 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 What country do you live in?? My apologies for not being specific here, but I have my reasons. I live in Europe.
GuyInLimbo Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 This is human slavery and no such contracts should ever be "enforced." I guess it depends on the laws in your country, but have you sought the help of an attorney??
Radu Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 You should probably speak to a lawyer. This will only be solved through this way. Also, with these families, they are very focused on how they are seen. That is something you can hit. This is human slavery and no such contracts should ever be "enforced." I guess it depends on the laws in your country, but have you sought the help of an attorney?? Obviously the contract does not directly stipulate this. There are probably penalties for other 'things'. PS: You should never sign anything you don't understand, especially something like this.
Author Charlene78 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 This is human slavery and no such contracts should ever be "enforced." I guess it depends on the laws in your country, but have you sought the help of an attorney?? I have talked to a divorce lawyer. He said that the contracts I signed are not covered by divorce law.
Author Charlene78 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Also, with these families, they are very focused on how they are seen. That is something you can hit. This is a difficult issue, because even if I had intentions to do that, then it probably wouldn't work, because it's already out in the open that my husband cheated.
Author Charlene78 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 While I already knew, it still breaks my heart reading this. Heart, what would you do at this point in my position?
Author Charlene78 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 What's your understanding of the legal consequences if you breach the contract(s)? At the very least it would bankrupt me personally and the people that stand in for any debt that I accumulate, which would mean family and even any future children that are not his own. So it wouldn't just affect me and that's the difficult part about it. If it just affected me, then I would be the only one that would pay for my mistakes.
GuyInLimbo Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 What's your understanding of the legal consequences if you breach the contract(s)? Very good question. It's not like you can be put in jail. No one on this planet can force you to have someone's baby. And if your lawyer said it's not covered by divorce law....well, he is still a lawyer and should be capable of advising you. Otherwise, find another attorney. I cannot fathom why any woman, in her right mind, would EVER agree to any sort of contracts like this. I don't care who you're marrying. If they are asking fro such things, that's a major red flag and you should walk away.
anne1707 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I would question whether any contracts like this were in breach of human rights legislation which would therefore make them null and void. 1
carhill Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Blood and turnips. If your life isn't in danger, break the contracts. See what happens. If it is in danger, fuggetabout everything but preserving your life. Any competent lawyer can give you professional advice on legal and illegal acts, as far as ramifications/consequences. Breaking a civil contract isn't necessarily 'illegal', dependent upon jurisdiction. I won't give you specific advice because some of it is in fact illegal, but I can tell you that there is legal and there is right and I never concern myself with legal when it's right. It's a tough world out there and I'll guarantee you that old money didn't get that way entirely legally. Hold yourself to their standard since they're the enemy. The high road is a wasteland of good intentions and battered consciences. Overrated. Get a consultation with/referral to a business/family attorney who is competent in contract law. It'll probably run 3-5K USD for competent advice before acting. Budget for it. Be very clear about *everything* before making the first step. Once each step is taken, you can't take it back. Make sure the ball rolls downhill in the right direction. It never gets to start again. Good luck.
Author Charlene78 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Blood and turnips. If your life isn't in danger, break the contracts. See what happens. If it is in danger, fuggetabout everything but preserving your life. Any competent lawyer can give you professional advice on legal and illegal acts, as far as ramifications/consequences. Breaking a civil contract isn't necessarily 'illegal', dependent upon jurisdiction. I don't think my life would be in danger, but like Heart said, they could make my life more difficult.
Author Charlene78 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 I would try to beat them at their own game. You make enough money to hire several lawyers. Some of them would need to be specialized in divorce law and others need to be specialized in business law. The reason is this: Those contracts do not fall under divorce law, because they are business contracts. (commercial contracts) You would need to get those contracts nullified in a court of law, but that is one of the hardest things to accomplish, because in western countries business contracts are holy. It is the foundation of capitalism, contracts are what capitalism is based on. Business contracts are protected by international business law and protected by the WTO. (world trade organisation) Your husbands family seems to know very well what they're doing. I have personally never witnessed a nullification of a business contract, unless the terms and conditions were breached by one party. (however I am not a legal expert) Marriage is also a contract, but it is not a business contract, so it is much easier to nullify. However even in the case of marriage it would help if one party would breach the terms and conditions, for example by cheating. So my guess is that it would be possible to divorce him, since he cheated and thereby broke the terms and conditions of the marital contract. However those business contracts are going to be more difficult to nullify. Your lawyers will have to find a breach of contract, a breach of the terms and conditions of those contracts. That is one thing. Another thing that could help is to appeal to the judge and to the court in general that not only should the law be applied by the letter, but also in spirit. Those contracts might be void when a judge looks at them in the spirit of the law. And another thing that might help is to appeal to the court and to the judge to be reasonable. Judges do actually have to apply a law with sound judgement. Those are all points on which those contracts could perhaps be nullified and declared void. That's only the legal part of it. I think both you and I know, that that will probably only be a part of what you'll go through. If he sent employees to find you and they even managed to find you in another country, then you might be in for a difficult life, even if you win and manage to nullify those contracts. Thank you, that actually makes it easier to understand for me. I appreciate it, I really do.
carhill Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I don't think my life would be in danger, but like Heart said, they could make my life more difficult. Correct, anytime you create an adversarial dynamic, your life will get more 'difficult'. Adversarial conflicts and fear of them are one reason people often will stay in an unhealthy marriage/job/business deal, etc. etc. It gets tough before it gets better. Think of this like Enemy of the State (great movie to watch BTW)..... you're small and hidden and they're large and exposed. Use their strengths, and especially their arrogance, against them. Smart facilitators know how to do exactly that. Like I said, I won't post ideas but my lawyer gave me a ton of them. Best money I ever spent. You'll find your way. One step at a time. HOAL gave you an excellent first step. Have those contracts scrutinized by a specialist. Good luck.
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