icklegnome Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) Hi I met this girl about 4 months ago although she had just broken up from a 6 year relationship and we went on a few dates and I kissed her on the beach under the moonlight. We kissed for a whole hour. We were quite intimate on a few occasions after this further dates and such although I didn't sleep with her because I needed to wait awhile. There was lots of sexual chemistry but we kept our trousers on basically. I asked her out properly but she cried and said she wanted no labels and to see what happened. She then went on holiday with her mum and friendzoned me when she got back saying she wanted to be single for awhile and didn't want me to be a rebound because she liked me too much. I have never heard of being friendzoned at this stage. So at the moment after a tricky period of being sometimes distance and unavailable we still hang out but she has now said she doesn't find me physically attractive and I'm not her type. Why would we flirt, kiss and get intimate if this is the case? She has started telling me about other men she is chatting to and has slept with "an airforce guy" after a drunk night out but this was just for sex I presume, I lost respect for her when she told me this. Still she continues to text me and ask me to hang out particularly a lot more as I have started to be busier in my life and chat and see other women. Confusingly she bought be presents and cards for christmas and came out on my birthday. I still flirt with her lightly and touch her arm, back, sometimes bottom, but I barely get a kiss on the cheek from her though she will link arms and tease me verbally. She sent me an email asking to see a band with her and though later added in a text that I can bring my friends?? Just very confused and wondering if I'd be more sane to stay well away. Just to point out I am shorter and lighter than her and she relates this to the not finding me attractive but she knew this when she met me! Otherwise I am on her level Edited January 4, 2013 by icklegnome
WhatYouWantToHear Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 This girl is a match, as in the kind that you use to light stuff on fire. Sure, its fun to play with them, but its only a matter of time before you are burned. I'm not saying you shouldn't play with matches, I love playing with them as much as the next guy. Just always know that they are dangerous, and don't come back here crying when you get burned by them.
sagetalk Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Just to point out I am shorter and lighter than her and she relates this to the not finding me attractive but she knew this when she met me! Otherwise I am on her level Do your future self a huge favor. Run for your life away from her. 1
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 She sounds like an immature pain in the ass and is using you for attention. I wouldn't bother giving her any.
jakelongot Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 If you want to keep her around as a friend fine, but nothing romantic is going to happen. You were a rebound guy (even if there was no sex). She needed a shoulder to cry on. I'm willing to bet in the time she's known you she has come to think of you as a friend, but that is it. You should not waste your time thinking of her in a romantic scenario because that is not going to happen. Do not get hung up on her.
Necris Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I agree with the advice already given and also it may help to just straight up ask her as well, you'll be surprised how effective that can be.
Maneater Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Sorry to say but she's definitely not interested. I hate reading these posts
Author icklegnome Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 If you want to keep her around as a friend fine, but nothing romantic is going to happen. You were a rebound guy (even if there was no sex). She needed a shoulder to cry on. I'm willing to bet in the time she's known you she has come to think of you as a friend, but that is it. You should not waste your time thinking of her in a romantic scenario because that is not going to happen. Do not get hung up on her. Thanks for this, I am beginning to accept her as a friend and in this sense I am beginning to actually appreciate the time and attention she is giving to me which now seems to be increasing as I become less interested in pursuing her and more interested in pursuing my career, health and the right girl :-)
Author icklegnome Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 I tried to be friends with her and yeah I guess it's not working out so well, one evening we were out together to see a concert and the "airforce guy" she slept with is there too, and she becomes anxious, distracted, flicking her eyes around the theatre for most of the evenining, her mask is uncovered and her behaviour is dissmissive and rude at times as I try to hold a normal conversation with her she doesn't isn't listening, texting her friend throughout the concert with her brightly lit phone discussing the fact the guy is also in the audience. It's obvious to me he has just used her for sex and know she's obsessed on him, I guess that's instant karma! Explains a lot and how anyone is going to be able to start a relationship with her at the moment is beyond me?
WhatYouWantToHear Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 how anyone is going to be able to start a relationship with her at the moment is beyond me? Because guys who are blinded by beauty and an open vagina will try and be in a relationship with her. You had that hope.
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