makeitright Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 My girlfriend left me last Friday. Saying she wants to be more independent and on her own (i have a house and she lives with me). She asked for space and time.. saying that i may text her each day and call occasionally. Well Saturday and Sunday were hard i was texting books non stop. calling because i was having panic attacks.Monday was difficult as well with the new years.Tuesday I didn't text much.. but was so desperate to talk to her.Wednesday we met and she explained that she didn't think getting back together was an option. I appologized for the things I did wrong and smiled the entire time showing her I was changing. We had fun.Thursday I didn't text.. after we met it went from desperate to more heartache.Today(friday).. i texted her a book.. asked to talk on the phone to give her.. her space. She said i'm making this really difficult and i need to respect her decision for space. I said to her that all relationships go through periods of unhappiness. If you love the other person you give them the option to change. If your partner changes your relationship gets better.. if they refuse then its time for you to end it. I was willing to change.. i started to change. I was hoping she would see that. I'm afraid she's cashed out.. I'm afraid with space comes distance.. with distance feelings are lost. Will she come back to me? Or will time allow her to miss who I'm becoming and she'll come back to me?
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 You didn't start to change. You became desperate. Change is when you're really truly happy with your life without her. You're trying to force her into feeling how you feel, which she doesn't. If she really loved you in the way you wanted to be loved, she wouldn't have broken up with you. Things didn't work out. She's not the end all be all, trust me. For your own sake, I would recommend not contacting her at all anymore and finding things in your life that make you happy or that you want to accomplish just for yourself. 2
Author makeitright Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 You didn't start to change. You became desperate. Change is when you're really truly happy with your life without her. I really am starting to change. Like most i'm hitting the gym, playing less games, no longer depressed. I saw what my depression was doing to her and as soon as she left and I realized what had happened I snapped out of it. I am slowly becoming more happy with my own life but it remains empty without her.
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Yesterday you were experiencing heartache and today you're no longer depressed? Sorry...I'm not buying it. Good for you for going to the gym. Now focus the rest of your energy on yourself, too. And then maybe you'll start to change or be truly happy without her.
na49 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 If you want to give her space. Then give her space. Don't bother her to tell her that you're giving her space. I know that YOU want this relationship to work. and that YOU are willing to change. but right now it doesn't matter what YOU do. It's about HER and if SHE wants it to work with YOU or go find someone else instead. I'm sure you guys were meant for each other like I was meant for my ex, but we can't make the other person love us if they don't. No matter how many times we go to the gym or feel less depressed. They have free will and do whatever the hell they want in the end. 2
Author makeitright Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Yesterday you were experiencing heartache and today you're no longer depressed? Sorry...I'm not buying it. Good for you for going to the gym. Now focus the rest of your energy on yourself, too. And then maybe you'll start to change or be truly happy without her. There's a big difference between depression and heartache. If I was depressed i'd be taking my anger and frustration out on others. Instead i'm reconnecting with old friends and family. I'm opening up emotionally to people who have not seen that side to me. The heartache is just always there.. knowing that she's not longer there.. knowing that she's not a phone call away to ease any pain.
LostOne1 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Time does heal wounds.. I am slowly feeling better about my ex in terms of not hating her as much or being angry at her as much. But for this relationship.. if the girl needs space give it. It's what my ex said and the truth is if someone doesn't feel it. There is NOTHING that can be done. It's a 2 way street and if only 1 side wants to work it out.. it won't help. Convincing won't work.. I think most of us here have tried and failed. That person needs to realize it on their own. Probably why some ex's come back. They realize it later and by then the person has moved on. It's going to be tough for you, but there sadly nothing you can do besides giving her the space she needs. Trust me I been there a few months back and NOTHING can bring her back from your end. It's all on her end now and the ONLY thing you can do is try to let go and accept it's over.
Recommended Posts