GirlontheLam Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Ok I just thought I'd post a rant about this...as I had a super weird first meet yesterday from online...and it is a recurring pattern. So for context. I am a black woman in my 30s. And by all definitions, my voice sounds like the typical California girl. It is pleasant (people joke I should do voiceovers). Basically I sound "educated" but I have the sort of lilt and and bubbly voice characteristic of people on TV. It's my phone voice, and my in-person one. As you can probably imagine, people usually notice it. I've always spoken this way...... (even when I moved to the south, I didn't pick up an accent other than a few words here and there) So reactions can range from: 1. nothing 2. shock and awe because I don't sound like a typical "black woman" 3. wow, you sound like a "white girl" 4. "your voice is so cute!" So here is the problem. There is a subset of men out there who are just a little too fascinated by my voice (and my general persona of being a bit hmm for lack of a better word, prim). Normal people notice it (or not) and never mention it again. The weird ones always keep bringing it up over and over and over again. With endless comments about "wow you sound proper." Or "wow you sound like a white girl." And the worst of them hide thinly veiled attempts to get me to talk "dirty" to them since they are so fascinated (as in when it is completely irrelevant to the conversation, they ask questions in aims to get to me to go into graphic sexual details.) OK rant over. Talk about your weird experiences related to your accent or persona!
TaraMaiden Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have what many in the UK call a "Cut-Glass" accent - that is to say, I was brought up to speak 'The Queen's English' and sound very posh and upper class.... I have actually, on far too many occasions to mention, had to tone it down and adopt a more general, 'middle-of-the-road' accent, in an effort to not stand out in a crowd.... So I know what you mean. I was once told by a client I met face to face, after several telephone discussions, that "I sounded taller on the 'phone".... 2
Pyro Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have a Midwest accent.....which I never would have known existed until I told so. When on the phone with customers some of them say that I sound like that I am from Boston. I am guessing that I do when I talk at a faster pace. Most people don't expect me to have a deep voice, but I do.
PhoenixRysing Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) I understand your pain. I work in a mostly virtual environment and "meet" most people via phone prior to meeting them in person. I have a deep throaty voice and a very direct demeanor. When I meet people in person later it never fails that they tell me they thought I was "older, taller, and whiter.":laugh: I am 5'6", biracial (I have been told I look a cross between Michelle Rodriguez and Alicia Keys), and 35. Apparently they expect someone more like Kathleen Turner. I don't mind that, but I do mind that they somehow assume that they should treat me differently once they see me verses how they responded when I was the "voice." Mostly I find it funny though and have now made a game of it. Right before I meet groups in person I ask them to write down the image in their head of the other people on the phone. We are all usually VERY wrong. It makes for a great laugh if you have people with thick skin in the room. Edited January 4, 2013 by PhoenixRysing 1
Author GirlontheLam Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 I don't mind that, but I do mind that they somehow assume that they should treat me differently once they see me verses how they responded when I was the "voice." Mostly I find it funny though and have now made a game of it. Right before I meet groups in person I ask them to write down the image in their head of the other people on the phone. We are all usually VERY wrong. It makes for a great laugh if you have people with thick skin in the room. Oohhhh! That sounds like a hilarious game. I am about 90% sure people picture Alicia Silverstone (or similar) for me.....
ErosOcean Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I understand your pain. I work in a mostly virtual environment and "meet" most people via phone prior to meeting them in person. I have a deep throaty voice and a very direct demeanor. When I meet people in person later it never fails that they tell me they thought I was "older, taller, and whiter.":laugh: I know what you mean. Over the phone, people tell me I sound like Danny DeVito. Then when I meet them in person, they are very shocked to see that I am a penguin. Just joking. Have a good one. 2
anne1707 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 jeez... you should try having a deep, broad Glaswegian, Scottish accent!!! lol noone understands anything you say, but most are in agreement that you're angry and about to kill someone.... :laugh: How about this - I knew someone years ago who was from Glasgow but moved to Liverpool when aged 10ish. Now that was one hell of an accent 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I get where the op is comming from. I have a midwestern accent and I often get questioned on it. Like everyone of any African descent has to sound like they are fresh from Mississippi. 2
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I have what many in the UK call a "Cut-Glass" accent - that is to say, I was brought up to speak 'The Queen's English' and sound very posh and upper class.... I have actually, on far too many occasions to mention, had to tone it down and adopt a more general, 'middle-of-the-road' accent, in an effort to not stand out in a crowd.... So I know what you mean. I was once told by a client I met face to face, after several telephone discussions, that "I sounded taller on the 'phone".... Taller?? OMG, too funny. I get told frequently that I have a sexy voice. In the proper context I like it, and with other people it makes me do a kthxbai kind of thing. My best friend, who is a black MALE, gets the thing you get a lot, though. He's been called an "oreo" because his interests are more "white" than 'black" (WTF does that even mean??), and his voice has NO accent even though he's from Mississippi and his parents have accents. I asked him how he managed to not have one, and he said that when he was first learning how to speak that he chose not to. That was priceless. That's one of his more enduring qualities. I believe it, too. I really believe he chose not to have an accent. And he speaks very "proper" as you mentioned. Why that should be a surprise to anyone, I don't know. He's a smart guy. *shrug* 1
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I get where the op is comming from. I have a midwestern accent and I often get questioned on it. Like everyone of any African descent has to sound like they are fresh from Mississippi. My best friend IS fresh from Mississippi (well, was when he first moved up here), but he didn't even have an accent while down there.
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Ok I just thought I'd post a rant about this...as I had a super weird first meet yesterday from online...and it is a recurring pattern. So for context. I am a black woman in my 30s. And by all definitions, my voice sounds like the typical California girl. It is pleasant (people joke I should do voiceovers). Basically I sound "educated" but I have the sort of lilt and and bubbly voice characteristic of people on TV. It's my phone voice, and my in-person one. As you can probably imagine, people usually notice it. I've always spoken this way...... (even when I moved to the south, I didn't pick up an accent other than a few words here and there) So reactions can range from: 1. nothing 2. shock and awe because I don't sound like a typical "black woman" 3. wow, you sound like a "white girl" 4. "your voice is so cute!" So here is the problem. There is a subset of men out there who are just a little too fascinated by my voice (and my general persona of being a bit hmm for lack of a better word, prim). Normal people notice it (or not) and never mention it again. The weird ones always keep bringing it up over and over and over again. With endless comments about "wow you sound proper." Or "wow you sound like a white girl." And the worst of them hide thinly veiled attempts to get me to talk "dirty" to them since they are so fascinated (as in when it is completely irrelevant to the conversation, they ask questions in aims to get to me to go into graphic sexual details.) OK rant over. Talk about your weird experiences related to your accent or persona! Geez, I keep forgetting my thoughts today. Anyway...I AM fascinated by people's voices, and I love accents (basically anything different from what I have), but it has no correlation to their race/gender/etc. Some people have voices I could listen to all day, and others...not so much. 2
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 How about this - I knew someone years ago who was from Glasgow but moved to Liverpool when aged 10ish. Now that was one hell of an accent OMG, my ex lives in Liverpool. Scousers have the best accents ever. I think that's the ONLY thing about him I still miss.
anne1707 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 OMG, my ex lives in Liverpool. Scousers have the best accents ever. I think that's the ONLY thing about him I still miss. And I think it is one of the worst - there is the Birmingham accent after all
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 And I think it is one of the worst - there is the Birmingham accent after all .....I'll admit I'm not very familiar with that one. I CAN tell a Scouse accent from all other kinds, though. I have no idea why I think it's so cute. I just do. LOL I'm kinda weird, though.
todreaminblue Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I am not fond of my voice, i have been told it is pleasant, dulcet tones, that was a line though, I used to radio work, and i have been mistaken for english, then i put on the aussie accent and they go yep ...aussie... i can be a bit of a chameleon in the voice department,i get mistaken for my teenage daughters,all the time, i am huge on voice inflections, tonal quality, singing voices, head voices, chest voices,I can hear subtle changes in emotions others cant helps me mediate problems and either comfort or get the hell out..... I use that skill to get myself out of trouble, there are voices that make me dreamy and their are voices i actually cannot stand, triggers things in me......so when i hear them i don't stay around long......i can talk dirty in donald duck fused with the creatures of the dark crystal....mmmmm gelfling......, if guys ask me to talk dirty that is what i do....quickly turns them off, not so dulcet and sexy then buddy, am i....lol...........smilin atcha.....deb 1
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 In my first reply, that should have been endearing, not enduring. Soo ashamed now.
ThaWholigan Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Heh, lots of people hear my voice and say I sound white . The only time they don't say that is when I am with my friends, and I talk in the same dialect - then they go "Now you sound black :p". I feel your pain . 2
todreaminblue Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 examples of melting voices...... james earl jones david attenborough a guy i know a radio announcer i used to know my grandfather arnie the terminator...kidding.......ill be back......lol...ahem....bye
anne1707 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 james earl jones david attenborough Agree with those. How about Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons? 2
todreaminblue Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 james earl jones david attenborough Agree with those. How about Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons? jeremy irons yessss...dont know alan rickman....who is he? liam neeson, julian sands add them adn a big add to colin firth
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