purplep Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 So my boyfriend and I started dating in late may 2011. We both lived in Georgia at the time but I was starting medical school in Utah in August as he remained in Georgia as a police officer. After dating for the summer, I drove out to school in early august and we continued to date long distance for my entire first year of school. I would fly back to see him frequently on weekends and he would fly out to see me on weekends sometimes. It was costly and hurt my grades..... He was the jealous type that would not like me to go out and have fun when he wasn't around because he feared other guys hitting one me. None the less I loved him. He had plans of moving out here to live with me and find work here, but it just didn't work out. When I went home for summer break, I moved my stuff in at his place to live with him for the summer of 2012, until school resumed in august. We got into a fight and he was really mean to me through text/phone. I decided to gather my things and go to my parents house until he apologized and he just continued to ignore me. This lead to us breaking up and it absolutely killed me. This was in late may/early june 2012 I drove back out to school in Utah that summer. I was really bummed out and hung around my friends trying to get over him while I was in Utah. In early august I met this one kid that was in my classes and we hung out and went on a few dates. I really enjoyed hanging out with him and we began dating a little more seriously. Early on, I realized I wasn't completely over my ex and relayed this to him, so we slowed down but kept hanging out. Eventually I felt I was over my ex, and this new guy and I dated for about 5 months. Then I went home for christmas break in Georgia.... after being there for about a week or so, my ex contacted me to get lunch and talk. I did, and after that I talked to him through text for a couple of days, and at one point he kissed me and I realized I had never gotten over him. He and I made a decision to try to make our relationship work again and hopefully have him move out to Utah at some point. I have 2.5 years of school here left. I told the other guy that I was dating rather abruptly through phone that I planned to get back together with my ex. He was shocked and surprised as he thought our relationship had been going really well. I just hadnt talked to my ex since we broke up and a lot of emotions came back when I saw him making me feel like he was still the right one for me so I acted on them and decided to try things again with him. Do you think this LDR can work better the second time around if we try harder? I'm nervous of my choice but its the choice I made.
Author purplep Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated
foreverM Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I believe anything is possible especially if both or one of you are willing to make sacrifices. I imagine it would have to be him (moving out to you) seeing as you have school to complete. Nothing wrong with trying again if you both still feel the same. Beat of luck I hope it works out for the both of you. L
Author purplep Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 yeah I'm just nervous cuz it didn't work out the first time and I'm just hoping I made the right decision leaving the guy in my class I was seeing. Just very confusing for me right now. I wish I could predict the future....
foreverM Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 yeah I'm just nervous cuz it didn't work out the first time and I'm just hoping I made the right decision leaving the guy in my class I was seeing. Just very confusing for me right now. I wish I could predict the future.... Don't we all but we can't. The way I see it is you had two choices and you made a decision. What was the reason for the fight and how he acted towards you after? If you don't mind me asking that is. L
Author purplep Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) We would get into some fights over the phone because he wouldn't like me going out on weekends cuz he was jealous I would meet other guys. When I went home over the this past summer to live with him for a couple months, we just got into an argument over dumb stuff and he was really mean to me through the phone. I packed up my stuff and went to my parents house expecting to hear from him and have him apologize but he never did. He just ignored me, hence why we ended up breaking up. I never heard from him again til I was home on christmas break.... Edited January 4, 2013 by purplep
tamara27berry Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that second chance is much sweeter... If you love him and you think you both have love and respect then go for it... 1
umirano Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 OP, you don't make it really clear what your issues were. foreverM asked for clarification and you said something about jealousy. If that was the reason you broke up, and the only one, then yes, it can work on the second try if the two of you have a strategy to deal with his jealousy now. If not, you're maybe just bored of the second guy and still kind of interested in the first. But I urge you to really think about why you want to get back to #1 and what reasons you have to think it will be better this time. Also the two of you fighting and breaking up over something as abstract as "jealousy" would make me think twice. Cheating is a reason to break up, or unjustified feelings of jealousy with the accompanying aggression and criticism. Who finally broke it off? You because he never trusted you? Or him because he was convinced you did or were about to cheat on him?
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