cannonball1 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 my 5 year relationship ended after my boyfriend met someone else who he claims he can be his self around. i really dont get it.. as many would say i thought we were happy. we had been through so much together. and had always done our own thing .. even went to different universitys in different cities and were still going strong. he went away the summer and met someone else. came home and broke up with me. this was around 4 months ago now. since then ive had him contact me once saying he regrets it .. however decided he was just drunk. then ive had him tell me he loves me. he cant lover her. stupidly slept with him a number of times within a week space. while he says he wishes he never done it but hes made plans with her now for travelling so he cant do anything about it. maybe we will get back together one day!! we can be friends haaaa! .. and then when i obviously said if we both love each other you can.. i got the were in different places this is my life now! i just want to know if he means it or if im just basically being used and laughed at. i cant understand it as ive never known him like this or to be with anyone else. i only know the 5 years i spent with him. and i thought we were happy. hes saying hes just in this situation now. also any advice to move on from someone when they left you for someone else. thats the part im finding the most differcult. she obviously to me seems amazing and they seem really happy. making all sorts of plans. thanks
Quest4_TheLost Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 i really dont get it.. as many would say i thought we were happy. we had been through so much together. and had always done our own thing .. even went to different universitys in different cities and were still going strong. People grow apart unfortunatly it happens everyday. since then ive had him contact me once saying he regrets it .. however decided he was just drunk. If he had regretted it he would be with you and not the person he left you for. then ive had him tell me he loves me. he cant lover her. stupidly slept with him a number of times within a week space. while he says he wishes he never done it but hes made plans with her now for travelling so he cant do anything about it. maybe we will get back together one day!! we can be friends haaaa! .. He is keeping you as a back up option incase this relationship fails and he can't find anyone else he finds interesting enough to take on in a relationship. STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM!! i just want to know if he means it or if im just basically being used and laughed at. He is stringing you along which in my opinion is pretty much the same as being laughed at. He can play your emotions anyway he wants and at this point knows he can come back at any time and you will most likley welcome him with open arms. also any advice to move on from someone when they left you for someone else. thats the part im finding the most differcult. she obviously to me seems amazing and they seem really happy. making all sorts of plans. This is going to sound harsh and I am not one that always impliments this NC rule. In this case the way I see it you need to cut him off completley. Stop txting,calling delete him from facebook any other social networks. He is playing head games with you and your allowing it. Why would you want to get back together with someone who left you after 5 years for someone out of the blue? He has no respect for the 5 yrs you had together. So if he did come back and you took him back I see it it most plausable that he would do it again and the whole time you would be insecure that he would possibly do it again. I'm really sorry your going through this its really tough and I feel for you. Now here is the advice that best works to move on. You get yourself out there see your friends, family take up some new hobbies, get in shape. Do whatever you can to promote confidence in yourself again. Love yourself! Pamper yourself!Come here and post as often as needed for support. But don't allow this guy to hurt you any further then he already has. 1
fixing Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Yeah, great advice from Quest. Cut this guy off completely. Save yourself more prolonged months of pain and depression. Start No contact, and treat yourself. Even be open to meeting other guys, if anything, just for the company. You will be fine. Stay strong.
Author cannonball1 Posted January 5, 2013 Author Posted January 5, 2013 thankyou. I think i already knew. just needed someone to tell me how it is. im obviously shocked. but he's chose her and these things happen. obviously was not meant to be. thanks
almosteverythingx Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 GET HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE. I say this in 'capitals' because I truly mean it. He can't say things when hes drunk that mess with your emotions. If you do want him back, All I can suggest is break contact. Never text him/contact him first. Avoid replying to him and let him realise how he feels about you. Only time will tell my friend, but please get him out of your life for now. Focus on you, enjoy yourself and if you have him on social networking sites feel free to post fabulous photos of you having fun on nights out! If you sit at home miserable, he will never want you back. A hungry dog never gets fed.
jags2bowl27 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 if you have him on social networking sites feel free to post fabulous photos of you having fun on nights out! If you sit at home miserable, he will never want you back. A hungry dog never gets fed. I dont agree with this... all this does is make someone jealous. I took this route, it worked after 2 months she came crying back, writing letters, etc to not reallt mean it. I suggest just going ghost and if its meant to be, the TOTAL absence will make them wonder in itself
almosteverythingx Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Thats why I said don't contact them... It's kinda obvious begging back after you having fun is a bit of a 'no go area' tbh, I think most of us have had it done to them. They have to prove themselves and it has to be a long period of time.
jags2bowl27 Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 Thats why I said don't contact them... It's kinda obvious begging back after you having fun is a bit of a 'no go area' tbh, I think most of us have had it done to them. They have to prove themselves and it has to be a long period of time. For me this is my first ltr breakup so I was an idiot a d fell for it, and honestly prob made myself look like a fool. She ruined what I had with the new chick to the point where my head was everywhere and I broke things off with the new girl. I wish I was as smart lol
almosteverythingx Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 For me this is my first ltr breakup so I was an idiot a d fell for it, and honestly prob made myself look like a fool. She ruined what I had with the new chick to the point where my head was everywhere and I broke things off with the new girl. I wish I was as smart lol Ahh man, that sucks! Sorry to hear about that! Good luck with the future!
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