Getting frustrated..

January 5, 2013

This is so tough.. I know you guys are probably right. Convincing myself is the hard part. Those what ifs are killing me right now. What if she wanted to talk about us? I didn't let her. I was stubborn in trying to stay NC. I never told her I'd be going NC. Does she think I was being cold? I was just trying to move on. I'm telling myself reaching out to her would give me closure. I'm not sure what closure I would get though. Do I need to know that it's over again? I thought I knew that already. The only way I can know for sure is to check up on her. Something I haven't done in 2+ months. Deathly afraid of what I would see though.. I've tried so hard to this point. Having a really rough week apparently.

Ill tell you again. YOU ARE DETOXING FORM THE TEXTS AND CALLS THAT YOU CORRECTLY DIDNT RESPOND TO.

So IGNORE EVERYTHING your brain is telling you about the what ifs. You aren't thinking clearly now.

Everything you have done is correct including blocking to finally recover. OK? TRUST US.

Take 10 to 20 deep breaths 5 seconds in and 6 seconds or longer out. Exhale everything. Tell yourself I'm breathing in and im breathing out as you do this and pull your mind into the present.

Edited January 5, 2013 by cavalier99

January 5, 2013

If only it was that easy.

And yes, I am under the impression she still has feelings for me. I seriously want to just look at her facebook, see a picture of her with another guy to convince myself it's over. I don't want to set myself back though and I know that would cause me a major setback. My stomach is turning over the thought of seeing that or seeing love quotes and pictures of her with someone else.

It isn't easy, i'm with you there, i'm still having a bit of tough time with it i've just gotten to the point I can put it at the back of my mind and have a good time most of the time. She cheated on you, so you know she's been with someone else. Knowing shes with someone won't help, when I seen my ex with a new guy it had the opposite effect it made me want her back even worse and made me want to do anything to make it happen. And the pain is unbearable thinking of them with someone else. No new evidence will help you.

January 5, 2013

It isn't easy, i'm with you there, i'm still having a bit of tough time with it i've just gotten to the point I can put it at the back of my mind and have a good time most of the time. She cheated on you, so you know she's been with someone else. Knowing shes with someone won't help, when I seen my ex with a new guy it had the opposite effect it made me want her back even worse and made me want to do anything to make it happen. And the pain is unbearable thinking of them with someone else. No new evidence will help you.

Well when I was still talking to her, it sounded like she was making excuses for him and that the relationship was a failure. She may be dating someone else now. I don't know which would hurt more. She's still with the guy she cheated on me with or she's found another guy already. No new evidence helps me, but not knowing anything is hurting me right now.

I also hate not knowing her motive. I mean every night, a text saying she wanted to talk to me. What could she possibly have wanted? I'd give anything to know.

January 5, 2013

If only it was that easy.

And yes, I am under the impression she still has feelings for me. I seriously want to just look at her facebook, see a picture of her with another guy to convince myself it's over. I don't want to set myself back though and I know that would cause me a major setback. My stomach is turning over the thought of seeing that or seeing love quotes and pictures of her with someone else.

if u check the self-improvement section, i've started a 30 day challenge. and the 2 components are not checking exes facebook, and sadly, not masturbating lol. this is only day 2, but it's a challenge and right NOW, it's kind of fun to take on, since i've never gone more than a few days (week max) of either in the last forever. maybe u need to take on a similar challenge.

i so badly wanted to check her facebook after new years to see if she had pics up with the guy she started seeing about a month or so ago (she told me it wasn't that serious yet, BUT also said she would try things with me again had she not developed 'strong feelings' for this guy). yeah rightt. she didn't end up posting any pics with the new guy over the holidays (as of the 2nd of jan) and did post a christmas photo of her in her baking apron (was crazy cute too grrr) but in REALITY, a photo of her new guy, or no photo means NOTHING i've realized. and i refuse to keep checking daily until i see something crushing. FACT is, they don't want to be with us, or we both would be together with our exes. so i've committed to stop looking.

2013 is a new year, and a new me. 2012, she owned my f*cking ass, regretably, but not this year. f*ck that. this is MY year. i refuse to be her slave this year. i tried fighting for her half of last year, and wasted a lot of time being consumed by it. so much pain. not this year. she's dead to me (obviously not since i still think about her a ton, but i'm taking pro-active steps to make her dead).

also blocking her really means nothing to her. if she truly wanted you back she'd just call using another number and leave a voicemail saying she wants you back or something. OR come to your house etc. stop obsessing over this, it's OVER. she feels incredibly guilty, that's it.

January 5, 2013

Ive done the same thing your doing at moments. Snap yourself out of it. That is why we bock them so we don't mind f-k ourselves.

She DOESN'T want you back. Also YOU DONT want her back. REMEMBER

Every single time I reached out, I got burned. I thought it would help. Not a single time did it help, it just hurt me. It doesn't give you closure, even them saying they don't want you doesn't take the what if's away. Contacting them just doesn't help at all. Especially in your case you don't want her back, she cheated on you. It's ok to think about it, but don't act on it. You keep reasoning with yourself thinking this time is different, or I need to say this, but it's still the same.

Right there with ya !!agree 100%

January 5, 2013

wait, she cheated on you?!?! wow. you've been making thread after thread, day after day, pining over a girl that cheated on you??? sigh. it's ok to feel crushed, and betrayed, and broken, etc etc...but why do you want this piece of trash back who clearly gave not one f*ck about you back when.

January 5, 2013

If only it was that easy.

And yes, I am under the impression she still has feelings for me. I seriously want to just look at her facebook, see a picture of her with another guy to convince myself it's over. I don't want to set myself back though and I know that would cause me a major setback. My stomach is turning over the thought of seeing that or seeing love quotes and pictures of her with someone else.

Won't happen , seeing that on Facebook will make it worse !! I'm dreading the day I see it on my ex's page ! Be strong

January 5, 2013

if u check the self-improvement section, i've started a 30 day challenge. and the 2 components are not checking exes facebook, and sadly, not masturbating lol. this is only day 2, but it's a challenge and right NOW, it's kind of fun to take on, since i've never gone more than a few days (week max) of either in the last forever. maybe u need to take on a similar challenge.

i so badly wanted to check her facebook after new years to see if she had pics up with the guy she started seeing about a month or so ago (she told me it wasn't that serious yet, BUT also said she would try things with me again had she not developed 'strong feelings' for this guy). yeah rightt. she didn't end up posting any pics with the new guy over the holidays (as of the 2nd of jan) and did post a christmas photo of her in her baking apron (was crazy cute too grrr) but in REALITY, a photo of her new guy, or no photo means NOTHING i've realized. and i refuse to keep checking daily until i see something crushing. FACT is, they don't want to be with us, or we both would be together with our exes. so i've committed to stop looking.

2013 is a new year, and a new me. 2012, she owned my f*cking ass, regretably, but not this year. f*ck that. this is MY year. i refuse to be her slave this year. i tried fighting for her half of last year, and wasted a lot of time being consumed by it. so much pain. not this year. she's dead to me (obviously not since i still think about her a ton, but i'm taking pro-active steps to make her dead).

also blocking her really means nothing to her. if she truly wanted you back she'd just call using another number and leave a voicemail saying she wants you back or something. OR come to your house etc. stop obsessing over this, it's OVER. she feels incredibly guilty, that's it.

Really needed this to help me put things back into perspective. If I meant that much, she'd go out of her way, you're right. Right after telling her to leave me alone has be wondering though. Even if she wanted to reach out to me, she won't because I told her to leave me alone.

I was my ex's b*tch too. No doubt about it, she definitely had more power in the relationship than I did. She seems to have more power than I do outside of the relationship. Influencing my emotions and she doesn't even know it lol.

January 5, 2013

Really needed this to help me put things back into perspective. If I meant that much, she'd go out of her way, you're right. Right after telling her to leave me alone has be wondering though. Even if she wanted to reach out to me, she won't because I told her to leave me alone.

I was my ex's b*tch too. No doubt about it, she definitely had more power in the relationship than I did. She seems to have more power than I do outside of the relationship. Influencing my emotions and she doesn't even know it lol.

Remember? I told my ex. DON'T CONTACT ME UNLESS YOU ARE DYING HAVE CANCER OR SUFFER A SEVERE CAR ACCIDENT AND IN THOSE CASES GET SUPPORT ELSEWHERE.

And she still tried to contact me for my bday 3 months later with nice email. If they want to contact you they will. And in the super unlikely event they want to get back together nothing you say or any block wont stop them from trying every avenue to get in touch.

January 5, 2013

Remember? I told my ex. DON'T CONTACT ME UNLESS YOU ARE DYING HAVE CANCER OR SUFFER A SEVERE CAR ACCIDENT AND IN THOSE CASES GET SUPPORT ELSEWHERE.

And she still tried to contact me for my bday 3 months later with nice email. If they want to contact you they will. And in the super unlikely event they want to get back together nothing you say or any block wont stop them from trying every avenue to get in touch.

That's very true. I think I want her to try to get in contact with me, but she isn't. So that's what's upsetting me. Then it gets me wondering why she isn't.

January 5, 2013

That's very true. I think I want her to try to get in contact with me, but she isn't. So that's what's upsetting me. Then it gets me wondering why she isn't.

She isn't because she didn't want to get back together with you. She just wanted to friend zone you and cry on your shoulder and totally boost her ego that you are there for her. You know this. And you know it is OVER. You did the right thing by not giving into her game.

It was all about her and never about you.

January 5, 2013

I have a solution -- I'll come over to your house and punch you in the face, laugh at you for a while, then leave. In a couple of days you'll yearn for that again, so I'll come by and belt you again. We'll keep doing this until a)you get sick of having a bruised, lacerated and broken face and stop calling or b) you are in the hospital.

Sounds absurd doesn't it? Well, that's exactly how you sound right now. Your ex basically punched you in the face and laughed in your face about it. But here you are, crying and moping and hoping she'll come back to slug you again. How are you not so mad and disgusted at this woman? She betrayed you in one of the worst ways possible yet you want her back? Not only do you need to keep NC, you need to figure out why you have so little self-worth that not only are you overlooking the fact that SHE CHEATED ON YOU but that you want more of that. I hate writing this, but f--k man, man up, find some balls and stop this. Please.

January 5, 2013

She isn't because she didn't want to get back together with you. She just wanted to friend zone you and cry on your shoulder and totally boost her ego that you are there for her. You know this. And you know it is OVER.

Reality hurts. Exactly what I need to hear though, which is why I love this forum lol.

If I know it's over, I hate how I'm still feeling depressed over it. Probably why I'm so frustrated about all of this. I can't just tell myself "it's over" and go on with my life. No. I have to stop. play twenty questions. bring the unrealistic expectations back. and feel like crap.

I really hate this...

January 5, 2013

You need to try and feel indifferent about her. Not sad or angry, not anything. In your threads, you seem to cycle between sadness and anger. And while anger can be cathartic, you just crash soon after.

/jediadvice

January 5, 2013

i have a solution -- i'll come over to your house and punch you in the face, laugh at you for a while, then leave. In a couple of days you'll yearn for that again, so i'll come by and belt you again. We'll keep doing this until a)you get sick of having a bruised, lacerated and broken face and stop calling or b) you are in the hospital.

Sounds absurd doesn't it? Well, that's exactly how you sound right now. Your ex basically punched you in the face and laughed in your face about it. But here you are, crying and moping and hoping she'll come back to slug you again. How are you not so mad and disgusted at this woman? She betrayed you in one of the worst ways possible yet you want her back? Not only do you need to keep nc, you need to figure out why you have so little self-worth that not only are you overlooking the fact that she cheated on you but that you want more of that. I hate writing this, but f--k man, man up, find some balls and stop this. Please.

great post!

January 5, 2013

I have a solution -- I'll come over to your house and punch you in the face, laugh at you for a while, then leave. In a couple of days you'll yearn for that again, so I'll come by and belt you again. We'll keep doing this until a)you get sick of having a bruised, lacerated and broken face and stop calling or b) you are in the hospital.

Sounds absurd doesn't it? Well, that's exactly how you sound right now. Your ex basically punched you in the face and laughed in your face about it. But here you are, crying and moping and hoping she'll come back to slug you again. How are you not so mad and disgusted at this woman? She betrayed you in one of the worst ways possible yet you want her back? Not only do you need to keep NC, you need to figure out why you have so little self-worth that not only are you overlooking the fact that SHE CHEATED ON YOU but that you want more of that. I hate writing this, but f--k man, man up, find some balls and stop this. Please.

It may be that I want her back when I obviously shouldn't. Or it's that I feel lonely and am not satisfied with my single life. Something that I need to be. You're right. You've been right. Why do I miss this person at all? It's annoying how I go from missing her to not missing her, then it just starts over again.

January 5, 2013

It may be that I want her back when I obviously shouldn't. Or it's that I feel lonely and am not satisfied with my single life. Something that I need to be. You're right. You've been right. Why do I miss this person at all? It's annoying how I go from missing her to not missing her, then it just starts over again.

NA49 I Iove your threads. And obviously a lot of people do because you have gotten more advise and responses that ANYBODY in the last couple months. Maybe you should just process things a little more. Maybe just start like one thread a week or keep a online journal in one thread? Lol

I think maybe you are thinking too much about this and analysing every emotion you have and too much posting might be holding you back some. You really know EVERYTHING at this point. Stand up on you own. You can do it!

January 5, 2013

It may be that I want her back when I obviously shouldn't. Or it's that I feel lonely and am not satisfied with my single life. Something that I need to be. You're right. You've been right. Why do I miss this person at all? It's annoying how I go from missing her to not missing her, then it just starts over again.

You miss the idea of her, the concept of her. Not her. We all go through it. But I do have a serious question -- what could this woman do to you to snap you out of this? Obviously her cheating doesn't bother you to that point. Does she have to stab you in the thigh with a pair of lawn shears?

January 5, 2013

NA49 I Iove your threads. And obviously a lot of people do because you have gotten more advise and responses that ANYBODY in the last couple months. Maybe you should just process things a little more. Maybe just start like one thread a week or keep a online journal in one thread? Lol

I think maybe you are thinking too much about this and analysing every emotion you have and too much posting might be holding you back some. You really know EVERYTHING at this point. Stand up on you own. You can do it!

Yeah, a na journal thread would be good.

January 5, 2013

cav- lol no question. I definitely have gotten a lot of advice and have made more threads than I should have. I think trying to figure things out for myself now is the only way to go. I get good advice, take it for a day and then come back asking for the same advice. Maybe that's causing some of my frustration.

Simon- that's true. She doesn't need to do anything else, I just want to stop obsessing over this so much.

January 5, 2013

cav- lol no question. I definitely have gotten a lot of advice and have made more threads than I should have. I think trying to figure things out for myself now is the only way to go. I get good advice, take it for a day and then come back asking for the same advice. Maybe that's causing some of my frustration.

Simon- that's true. She doesn't need to do anything else, I just want to stop obsessing over this so much.

Just power thru bud!

Keep posting when you need to but try to take a step back. Well get thru this. You have helped me a lot with your posts and giving and getting advise form you has helped a ton.

The fact of the matter is I'm sorta in the same boat as you and also have many of the same thoughts you do. But we need to stand up and try to get thru this with help here BUT on our own also.

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Getting frustrated..

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