standtall Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 We made it after he saw the papers from the lawyer...adultery did matter. If you're in the US, legally it did not matter. To you it mattered..enough for you to continue on with this dead end. Again,in all 50 states, there is no fault divorce...adultery is irrelevant to divorce matters no matter how much you want it to be.
bentnotbroken Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 If you're in the US, legally it did not matter. To you it mattered..enough for you to continue on with this dead end. Again,in all 50 states, there is no fault divorce...adultery is irrelevant to divorce matters no matter how much you want it to be. Born here...and we disagree with the relevance to divorce.
standtall Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 (edited) Born here...and we disagree with the relevance to divorce. The relevance is to you..not legally. The judge don't care. You know I'm starting to see something here. People are always talking about the "affair fog" which many cheating spouses are in that clouds their judgement. I believe that it exists. But I also believe that many of the married spouse victims find themselves in an "anger fog"..that clouds their judgement in a different way. Thinking that one can kick a spouse to the curb legally for cheating seems to be one of those foggy beliefs. Edited January 9, 2013 by standtall
bentnotbroken Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 The relevance is to you..not legally. The judge don't care. You know I'm starting to see something here. People are always talking about the "affair fog" which many cheating spouses are in that clouds their judgement. I believe that it exists. But I also believe that many of the married spouse victims find themselves in an "anger fog"..that clouds their judgement in a different way. Thinking that one can kick a spouse to the curb legally for cheating seems to be one of those foggy beliefs. If that is the way you see it...not a problem for me. I know what happened in my case, how it happened and legally what the outcome was. It worked for me.
Got it Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 If that is the way you see it...not a problem for me. I know what happened in my case, how it happened and legally what the outcome was. It worked for me. bent, if he refused to leave, would you, and how would you, have had legal recourse to remove him from his shared property? What legal statues would have been used if he dug his heels in and fought it? This might be where you and standtall are at an impasse. Maybe some further information would help clear the air.
Snowflower Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 bent, if he refused to leave, would you, and how would you, have had legal recourse to remove him from his shared property? What legal statues would have been used if he dug his heels in and fought it? This might be where you and standtall are at an impasse. Maybe some further information would help clear the air. When I went through this, I had to file for legal separation in the state where I lived. My H didn't want to leave and it was too toxic for us to live together while he was in his affair (even though I didn't know it was an affair at that point). Legal separation outlines things like this. Who will live in the marital residence? What about finances? Custody of children, etc. Just like a divorce without the finality of it. In other states, like Florida, where there is not legal separation, the parties would proceed straight to filing for divorce. Again, who lives in the marital home would be decided by either the parties themselves, or a judge if the parties cannot agree. Infidelity doesn't usually have anything to do with it. However, a separation agreement or divorce petition will stipulate living arrangements, especially if there is a disagreement between the spouses. No court will just let the parties to work it themselves (if there is contention), or force them to live together just because one spouse doesn't want to move out.
bentnotbroken Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 bent, if he refused to leave, would you, and how would you, have had legal recourse to remove him from his shared property? What legal statues would have been used if he dug his heels in and fought it? This might be where you and standtall are at an impasse. Maybe some further information would help clear the air. We aren't at an impasse. We agree to disagree. I love the south most of the time.
carhill Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 He alleged that she cheated, not him. But guess what, you don't need to allege cheating to get a divorce anyway, you can file for divorce in all 50 states for no reason at all, hence no fault divorce, which exist in all 50 states. End of story. 1. There is no fault divorce in all 50 states. I am sure that there are some obscure, unused,unenforced, and archaic laws in some communities that make adultery illegal, but there are merely leftovers that have not been scrubbed for the law books. You can click in paste any archaic statue you want, but I know for a fact that New York was the last state that enacted no fault divorce in 2010. 2. You cannot kick someone out of a jointly owned marital home based on cheating alone. I have been saying this for the last 4 posts. I am not defending the cheaters, I am not saying what is right or wrong. I am just telling it the way it is, and not grasping for straws based on emotion on what someone deserves. You are aware that I'm a former MM, right? I'm speaking to legalities from the perspective of 'can you really kick them to the curb'. Yes, legally, you can, both civilly and criminally. For most people, it doesn't come to that. A good lawyer, as I had, advises their client of *all* relevant possibilities, including relevant statute and case law supporting such possibilities, both civilly and criminally. The OP asks: "Actually, I don't know anyone now who needs to kick someone out for cheating. I do know someone who is in an abusive situation and has tried to keep her H out, but the police haven't been very helpful. Both the H and W's name's are on the house. I'm just wondering how much power someone has to kick someone out if that person harmed them." I answered globally, though criminal action relevant to domestic violence would probably be more effective for that person's situation.
standtall Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 (edited) Yes, legally, you can, both civilly and criminally. . No you cannot kick someone out of their legal home in the US for infidelity, nor are there any enforceable criminal penalties for such behavior. It is not about other scenarios, it is about cheating only. Anybody can charge and allege anything they want, but that does not mean it has force of law...you are sadly misinformed. The anger fog just keeps clouding this debate into what people want the law to do, not what it does do. Let's just agree to disagree for the OP's sake and move on. Edited January 9, 2013 by standtall
WifeCheatedOnMe Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 No you cannot kick someone out of their legal home in the US for infidelity, nor are there any enforceable criminal penalties for such behavior. It is not about other scenarios, it is about cheating only. Anybody can charge and allege anything they want, but that does not mean it has force of law...you are sadly misinformed. The anger fog just keeps clouding this debate into what people want the law to do, not what it does do. Let's just agree to disagree for the OP's sake and move on. Wrong...In NC you certainly can get a court order of eviction for adultery: Divorce from Bed and Board - The Details - Articles 1
beenburned Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 In my state you can file for divorce on the grounds of adultery, and the division of assets are definitely affected by the adultery! You only have to provide the proof of the adultery. Last I heard, there are 13 states here in the US that are still fault states, although they also offer no-fault divorces. Most fault states are in the South. My D just got a divorce for this very reason!!! She was awarded child support, alimony(based on proven fraud), her lawyer fees paid her H, half of the money and gifts he spent on his 2 OW were given to her(4 year affairs), and much more. She also kicked him out of HER HOUSE when d-day occurred.(pre-marital property) I sure am glad he got what he deserved! 1
standtall Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Wrong...In NC you certainly can get a court order of eviction for adultery: Divorce from Bed and Board - The Details - Articles Yea yea yea..an add for a law firm that tells desperate people what they want to hear. I got some snake oil i can sell you as well. Show me the .0001 % people who have done it...cite me case law and I will believe it. Typical "click and paste" internet scholar.
WifeCheatedOnMe Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Yea yea yea..an add for a law firm that tells desperate people what they want to hear. I got some snake oil i can sell you as well. Show me the .0001 % people who have done it...cite me case law and I will believe it. Typical "click and paste" internet scholar. Are you really that obtuse? GS_50-7 http://caselaw.findlaw.com/nc-court-of-appeals/1231139.html
standtall Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Are you really that obtuse? GS_50-7 WASHINGTON v. WASHINGTON, No.?COA01-250., December 28, 2001 - NC Court of Appeals | FindLaw Yea I am that obtuse. Keep buying the snake oil. You can find one case in the last 20 yrs, and you think it is the norm.There was a lot of details missing in the "internet scholar post"..such as if the marital home was jointly owned and purchased during the marriage. Some fat guy in his basement wrote that non legal summary. You are misleading the vast majority of the readers here in making them believe that they can kick a cheating spouse out of the jointly owned marital home. People believe what they want to believe when their desperate. Even if they could get an attorney to take a legal loser such as that, it will take the plaintiff years and 10's of thousands of dollars to even remotely get a chance....not exactly something that the average person can consider...so who is calling who obtuse.
WifeCheatedOnMe Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Yea I am that obtuse. Keep buying the snake oil. You can find one case in the last 20 yrs, and you think it is the norm. I spent all of 30 seconds googling caselaw....Not one example in 20 years. Google it your self "Divorce from Bed and Board" and you'll get tons of information. But it's obvious your mind is made up, your closed to the facts, you base your opinion on YOUR experience...You attempt to be an internet bully holding on to your beliefs at all costs. I'm not advocating that it should be, could be done....I'm simply refuting your bold claim that it can't be done. It can be done and it is up to the person in their situation to evaluate whether it should be done with proper legal counsel. I'm done with this ridiculous argument as it serves no more purpose...At least readers now know of possible options, regardless of your bullying. 1
beenburned Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Disregard people who don't know the laws in many states.(especially the 13 states that are still fault states) It is done on a regular basis here in my state.
nofool4u Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 One sure fire way to make sure a spouse in a joint marital home is "kicked out". Maybe push their buttons to get them to hit or slap you, then boom, their ass is yours. Get a restraining order. Now would I have egged my X on to slap me just so I could get a RO? Nah. But if she hit me during an argument, you bet I would have.
buckeyeblue Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I am an attorney and I am telling you that a person can be evicted on the grounds of infidelity ALONE in my state and in at least one of my neighboring states. Proof of infidelity has to be presented. There...settled. 2
nofool4u Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I am an attorney and I am telling you that a person can be evicted on the grounds of infidelity ALONE in my state and in at least one of my neighboring states. Proof of infidelity has to be presented. There...settled. Very wise state you live in. Too bad I'm in the hell that is Illinois, for more than one reason. 1
beenburned Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Buckeyeblue, Thank you so much for providing this info!! I already knew it, but I guess you just have to prove it to the people that insist otherwise! Read some of my older post to see just what my D has been through for the last 2 years trying to divorce her (not willing to compromise about anything) H!! She had so much evidence for court they had to wheel it in on a hand truck!
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