angie2443 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I see this phrase from time to time in this forum. I also see people told to change the locks so the WS can't come back in the home. Is this legal, though? Can you keep someone out of the house for cheating? Does it matter much if both names are on the house. Actually, I don't know anyone now who needs to kick someone out for cheating. I do know someone who is in an abusive situation and has tried to keep her H out, but the police haven't been very helpful. Both the H and W's name's are on the house. I'm just wondering how much power someone has to kick someone out if that person harmed them.
Spark1111 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I don't know if I had the right or not. It wasn't something I thought out or pre-planned or consulted anyone about. After dday, I was a whirling dervish of pain and rage that he had lied to my face, daily for over a year. I was crazy and it was a visceral, primal, from the gut crazy. I gave him 48 hours to get his stuff out while I moved into a hotel otherwise he find it on the front lawn with his car spray-painted. I think at that point, he was scared; of me, of the ramifications of others finding out, of how crazy I get, how far I would go. He left.
bentnotbroken Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I see this phrase from time to time in this forum. I also see people told to change the locks so the WS can't come back in the home. Is this legal, though? Can you keep someone out of the house for cheating? Does it matter much if both names are on the house. Actually, I don't know anyone now who needs to kick someone out for cheating. I do know someone who is in an abusive situation and has tried to keep her H out, but the police haven't been very helpful. Both the H and W's name's are on the house. I'm just wondering how much power someone has to kick someone out if that person harmed them. I consulted a lawyer and used the emails that he stated he wanted to sale the house and for me to move back with my family.
nofool4u Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I see this phrase from time to time in this forum. I also see people told to change the locks so the WS can't come back in the home. Is this legal, though? No, its not. But you can put their belongings on the front lawn and hope they at least have the decency to honor your wishes that they GTFO. Does it matter much if both names are on the house. Not sure about that one. But my guess would be that it doesn't matter if married. Actually, I don't know anyone now who needs to kick someone out for cheating. I do know someone who is in an abusive situation and has tried to keep her H out, but the police haven't been very helpful. If she gets a RO, then she can keep him out of the house.
Furious Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) I see this phrase from time to time in this forum. I also see people told to change the locks so the WS can't come back in the home. Is this legal, though? Can you keep someone out of the house for cheating? Does it matter much if both names are on the house. Actually, I don't know anyone now who needs to kick someone out for cheating. I do know someone who is in an abusive situation and has tried to keep her H out, but the police haven't been very helpful. Both the H and W's name's are on the house. I'm just wondering how much power someone has to kick someone out if that person harmed them. In my situation it was not just kicking my WS out, it was only the first step toward divorcing him. The day after D-day I went to a lawyer, got my finances in order and called a real estate agent. I made a new will and changed the benefactors to my life insurance. As far as I was concerned a cheating spouse is already gone while they're cheating, handing them their suitcase and wishing them well just makes it so that they are really and truly gone. I would think a WS would be glad to go to the OW waiting in the wings. Edited January 4, 2013 by Furious
WifeCheatedOnMe Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Most states have a divorce from bed and board provision. You can invoke it and get them out of the house due to abuse, abandonment and infidelity among others. 1
carhill Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Here's an excerpt from New York law, relevant to an at-fault filing for abandonment: Abandonment may be actual or constructive. Actual abandonment is usually one spouse leaving the marital residence without the consent of the other spouse without intention to return. One spouse may also lock out the other spouse from the marital residence. Constructive abandonment is the refusal of "basic obligation arising from the marital contract," including a cessation of sexual relations; establishing such a prior constructive abandonment may render the spouse who leaves, or locks out the other, as the innocent spouse. As each jurisdiction is different, one must necessarily consult the statute of that jurisdiction for legal guidance. One can do pretty much anything, but whether it's legal or not may impact the final resolution. Here in Cali, one effective technique to 'kick them to the curb' has been the successful allegation/prosecution of a domestic violence complaint, whether actual or staged. Matters involving children are also a sensitive area where creativity can 'kick them to the curb'. It all depends on who cares the least. Once honesty and fairness and respect for the law are abandoned, it's a free for all.
Steen719 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Florida - both attorneys I consulted with said I could change the locks and he could, also. They both said it could go back and forth forever. First time, the azz did it to me, I consulted an attorney who told me that I could keep the house since I had a minor child who would be living with me (I could afford it by myself at that time) and he would have to leave. When my son turned 18, I would have to sell the house and some equation would be applied for us to get our money out of it. Wish to hell I had done that instead of giving him another chance and the next 14 years of my life, but not all of my choices have been good ones.
Snowflower Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Wish to hell I had done that instead of giving him another chance and the next 14 years of my life, but not all of my choices have been good ones. Well, look at it this way Steen, those 14 years were probably giving your son a stable, loving home. So maybe all is not lost then? Don't be so hard on yourself because you made the best decision you could at the time! 1
Steen719 Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Well, look at it this way Steen, those 14 years were probably giving your son a stable, loving home. So maybe all is not lost then? Don't be so hard on yourself because you made the best decision you could at the time! Thank you, it is the only way I can accept that was the choice I made. I have to believe it helped my son.
Michael Johnson Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 Since my name was the only one on the house and I was the one paying the bills, yes I could absolutely kick her to the curb and I sure did. 1
Summer Breeze Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 I left. I had 2 reasons for not staying in the marital home. One was that his kids lived there with us and they were in HS. Their mother had died and we gave them a fresh start that they did well in. The other was because if I had stayed there he would have had thousands of reasons to drop by or to make waves. I took the first apartment I found and moved immediately. I still carry the guilt about my stepkids but it was a dealbreaker and that was something I wouldn't compromise.
standtall Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 In the US you cannot kick out a spouse for cheating.
nofool4u Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 In the US you cannot kick out a spouse for cheating. If it wasn't for my kids, if my x-wife didn't want to leave the house, then I would have done something to get her to slap me. THEN I could have her kicked out of the house.
bentnotbroken Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 If it wasn't for my kids, if my x-wife didn't want to leave the house, then I would have done something to get her to slap me. THEN I could have her kicked out of the house. It probably depends on the area.
nofool4u Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 It probably depends on the area. Nope. Assault and batter is assault and battery, and restraining orders have been issued for less.
standtall Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) It probably depends on the area. All 50 states are no fault divorce states. You cannot kick someone out of their home for cheating. Here endeth the debate. Edited January 7, 2013 by standtall 1
carhill Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Some states still allow prosecution of 'at fault' divorce lawsuits, even if they also allow 'no fault' divorces. It depends on the state. I used New York as such an example upthread. Additionally, criminal allegations which could assist in 'kicking them to the curb' are completely separate from prosecution of a civil divorce lawsuit. Many avenues of action are open to those so inclined to achieve the goal of 'kicking them to the curb'. 1
Spark1111 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 the legalities of all of the above may very well be true. but in the aftermath of dday, when you have the WS and the AP in shock that the affair has been discovered, they now fear the reaction of the BS. First words out of my H's mouth: PLEASE don't tell anyone. So, in hindsight, I think many will leave rather than risk exposure that could hurt them, their AP, their employment, their relationship with friends and family. they too were in shock and in fear of the fallout; the affair bubble had burst a bit, and they did run and hide for awhile.
standtall Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 (edited) Some states still allow prosecution of 'at fault' divorce lawsuits, even if they also allow 'no fault' divorces. It depends on the state. I used New York as such an example upthread. Additionally, criminal allegations which could assist in 'kicking them to the curb' are completely separate from prosecution of a civil divorce lawsuit. Many avenues of action are open to those so inclined to achieve the goal of 'kicking them to the curb'. I said cheating...which is not criminal in any state. You're also 100% wrong with the "at fault" part..It doesn't exist anymore..it went away nationwide by the mid 80's....last century dude. Just end it man. Edited January 8, 2013 by standtall
carhill Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 You might wish to check the statutes of the relevant states. I know for a fact that New York (DRL §170.4 for adultery) and Tennessee still have fault divorces, and a famous country music singer from Nashville divorced her husband based upon the fault of his infidelity back in 2006-2007. It was widely reported in the media. Her name is Sara Evans. You might remember she quit Dancing with the Stars during it. IIRC, North Carolina still has a criminal statute relevant to infidelity, called 'criminal conversation'. I'd have to look up the statute but it did exist last year when posting to a similar topic. 'Cheating' isn't criminal but a creative adversary can cause or create circumstances to cause criminal charges and/or specifications to be brought upon the unfaithful spouse. Domestic violence and child endangerment are but a couple. 4
bentnotbroken Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 All 50 states are no fault divorce states. You cannot kick someone out of their home for cheating. Here endeth the debate. I live in the deep south and in my state...he was shown the door while his things were being loaded into his car. The house is mine...his car is his.
standtall Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 That was a decision you and him made. I am sure you didn't have a court order kicking him out of the house for cheating.
standtall Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 You might wish to check the statutes of the relevant states. I know for a fact that New York (DRL §170.4 for adultery) and Tennessee still have fault divorces, and a famous country music singer from Nashville divorced her husband based upon the fault of his infidelity back in 2006-2007. It was widely reported in the media. Her name is Sara Evans. You might remember she quit Dancing with the Stars during it. He alleged that she cheated, not him. But guess what, you don't need to allege cheating to get a divorce anyway, you can file for divorce in all 50 states for no reason at all, hence no fault divorce, which exist in all 50 states. End of story. 1. There is no fault divorce in all 50 states. I am sure that there are some obscure, unused,unenforced, and archaic laws in some communities that make adultery illegal, but there are merely leftovers that have not been scrubbed for the law books. You can click in paste any archaic statue you want, but I know for a fact that New York was the last state that enacted no fault divorce in 2010. 2. You cannot kick someone out of a jointly owned marital home based on cheating alone. I have been saying this for the last 4 posts. I am not defending the cheaters, I am not saying what is right or wrong. I am just telling it the way it is, and not grasping for straws based on emotion on what someone deserves.
bentnotbroken Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 That was a decision you and him made. I am sure you didn't have a court order kicking him out of the house for cheating. We made it after he saw the papers from the lawyer...adultery did matter.
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