Mme. Chaucer Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Basically what I meant with this thread is are these guys looking for a model look alikes or someone that is just kind of pretty? I bet that a lot of times, it's not even really thought about much when it's put in a profile. I would't attribute too much to it unless there are other red flags indicating superficiality in the profile. And … a man saying he wants an attractive girlfriend is NOT "the same" as a woman saying she wants a boyfriend with a good job. What it's the same as is a woman saying she wants an attractive boyfriend. Yes, I know that traditionally men seek attractive women while women seek "good provider" men. Why are so many here SO invested in reinforcing the traditional gender roles? Yes, they can still exist, but they are not the end. We are moving forward. Some of us, anyway. Women can want an attractive boyfriend, and a guy can want a woman with a good job. No shame in any of that. 1
soccerrprp Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Not looking for nor desirous of the model type. If it happens, gosh, i woudn't be disappointed, but just looking for my definition of pretty. 1
DC4 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 "I want an attractive woman/I want a man with a good career" seems to be a huge point of contention on this site. Of course we want attractive people with a good career. Who actively wants someone they find ugly and unsuccessful? It's just plain common sense. I feel I'm on the positive side of average as far as looks but who knows, maybe I'm not. This is why I have grown to loathe OLD. I am sure I have passed up good men because of a crappy photo and I'm guessing I've been passed up by men who might otherwise date me as well.
mesmerized Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Hmmm if he just said he wants an attractive girl I wouldn't care, if he started to mention his desired boob size and body fat percentage on a dating profile is when I start to worry. Everyone wants someone attractive to them, nothing wrong with that
DC4 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I would be sort of amused by someone who would only date women who are a specific bra size.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I think it's a strange/obvious thing to say in your profile. And by the way, Eternal Sunshine, you are looking HOT in your new avatar!
PJKino Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I would be sort of amused by someone who would only date women who are a specific bra size. Why? most women wont date a guy under a certain height[usually 5'10 old] is that any less shallow? 1
DC4 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Why? most women wont date a guy under a certain height[usually 5'10 old] is that any less shallow? I didn't say a damn thing about it being shallow. Amused as in it's quite arbitrary, like if I said ONLY 5'10.5" Sheesh people.
jcrew11 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Would you bother if a guy says so in a OLD profile? It just seems weird - and makes me think this guy is too superficial and will just pick apart my appearance. This is just insecurity on your part; and your fear of rejection. If an ugly guy wrote this, then you wouldn't care because you aren't attracted to him. But if a Brad Pitt looking guy wrote this,then you will feel self-conscious and fear rejection. Obviously, by stating his ideal preferances in his profile, this prevents women from asking "why did he not write back?" - because he didn't find you pretty enough.
Lonely Ronin Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Would you bother if a guy says so in a OLD profile? It just seems weird - and makes me think this guy is too superficial and will just pick apart my appearance. depending on the context & tone, I could easily see my self writing off a woman that says this.
FitChick Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 It wouldn't bother me if he contacted me because it would mean he found ME attractive. Otherwise I don't really care. We all have our preferences.
edgygirl Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Whenever I see a guy saying they want someone attractive, I am VERY much tempted to click them as a "no" in my OLD site, and usually I do. It turns me off immensely. Although I consider myself attractive and am fit. I think it makes them look extremely superficial. Adding to that, usually these profiles don't mention the personality traits of the woman they want. Instead of saying "attractive" (who knows what that specific guy considers attractive anyway???) - I would understand if they pointed out one or two characteristics that are deal breakers for them. For me, I stated that I prefer tall guys, which I consider fair enough, as short guys turn me off and I don't want them losing their time contacting me. Guys that state they want "fit girls" also turn me off, but it's something I can understand as they probably want someone who share their lifestyle. Oh it also makes me laugh a lot when really non attractive guys say on their profiles they want an attractive girl. It happens ALL the time!
TouchedByViolet Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Everyone wants someone attractive.... It's almost redundant to say.
Imajerk17 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I've learned that some things are just better left unsaid. Of course I want an attractive girl, and of course I have my measure of what I find attractive (my physical type). But I don't really go into detail about that in my profile. Why? Doing so wouldn't help my cause. A woman reading that who is my physical type probably won't become more interested, she would probably feel objectified in some way. It would be like a woman going into too many requirements when it comes to income of her desired partner. It's not going to inspire a high-income guy to write them. Again, no one likes to feel objectified. I screen for my physical type by whom I decide to make contact with.
PJKino Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Oh it also makes me laugh a lot when really non attractive guys say on their profiles they want an attractive girl. It happens ALL the time! It also makes me laugh when a girl whos face looks like was run over by a truck or a women whos a donut away from 3 bills or is a few years from collecting social security asks for tall dark and handsome on her profile which happens all the time as well I had a rather large lady say short men are ugly and make her look big and she wants to feel small and dainty and i told her that her stomach makes her look big not me and that it would take an offensive lineman make her look small and dainty
Imajerk17 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I had a rather large lady say short men are ugly and make her look big and she wants to feel small and dainty and i told her that her stomach makes her look big not me and that it would take an offensive lineman make her look small and dainty You might not be a lineman but I'm sure she thought you were offensive! Couldn't resist...
Imported Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I would guess writing "I want an attractive girl" will deter women they don't want from trying to contact them. Who the hell likes telling people that are utterly unattractive to them to go away. I have never tried online dating, however if I contacted a girl it would be because I think she is attractive, so she better have a lot of pictures up showing herself, because I don't give a **** how many pages of **** she writes about herself to show "who she is" . You'll need to be attractive for me to contact you, the rest will be figured out later. Writing pages upon pages of **** means nothing....except maybe you're a bit nutty. I approach girls in real life based on if I think they are attractive and if they seem attracted to me. So if I approach you, then you are attractive. I am not going to pick apart her appearance or compare her to other girls. A "better looking" girl is not going to walk by and get my attention. I don't care if some other girl "looks better", I am with a girl because I already think she looks great and now I am trying to figure out her worth outside of how she looks.
scratch Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I bet that a lot of times, it's not even really thought about much when it's put in a profile. I would't attribute too much to it unless there are other red flags indicating superficiality in the profile. This is similar to my opinion. It's a fallback for someone who isn't particularly comfortable or adept at describing what they're seeking. File it in the same category as "loves to laugh," "enjoys new experiences" and "values time with friends and family." On my profile, I put in a height requirement, an education requirement and an age requirement, because they are distinct metrics. I declined to input a body type requirement because it seemed like it would do more harm than good. An attractiveness requirement (besides being unquantifiable) would be even more self-defeating. However, rest assured that attractiveness and body type are very important to me. On a busy day, I'll get 10-15 messages or winks. That's not so many that I can't be bothered to skim and delete the unappealing ones. When I do get frustrated with multiple emails from unsuitable women, I make my profile non-searchable and only have to deal with people I contact first.
pteromom Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 It's a meaningless thing to say. EVERYONE wants an attractive girl (or guy). The thing is though, that the definition of attractive varies from person to person, so you don't learn anything about someone by that statement.
xxoo Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) Sure, everyone wants an attractive girl. But not everyone wants a girl who reads, "seeking attractive girl" and says, "That's me!" He doesn't want to have to convince her that she's attractive. He wants a girl who feels she is attractive. ES, you are attractive. Whether or not any one guy is personally attracted to you, or whether you are as attractive as someone else, isn't the point. You are attractive. It is what it is. Just accept it, and move on! Edited January 4, 2013 by xxoo
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