chloe1408 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 So I had a conversation with my ex last night. I text him to say his stuff was in the post on his way to him. The actual text just said "posted" He said Thankyou. I have decided that I want to change my number, new start etc. I have also deleted my facebook and my Twitter - there is no need for them. I have done so today and sent him a text to say that I wished him all the best in his new life. He replied to say I'm taking this abit far. We exchanged a few texts with him basically blaming me for the end of our relationship saying I never let him get close to me. I said he was very close to my heart and he said its a shame I never made him felt that way. I decided to once and for all get my closure so I called him. He answered and we spoke. He basically said the real reason we split was not down to that, those were issues we could have sorted. He loved me and likes spending time with me. He just doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with me. It was apparently the same reason he split with his ex. He said we could still be friends and talk whenever. I said that to be honest, I feel lead on, you dont invite someone over to share Christmas together and dump them in a text the next day. I said that I felt he wasnt a genuine person and in fact very selfish. We had been together 4 months, he hadnt even come to me to see if there was any way to improve our relationship. He had just walked away. I said that I dont need people like that in my life. He said he was insulted and started listing the things I hadnt handled well in our relationship as if to shift the blame back on to me. So I just said to him that I wish him all the best in his life. That I wanted nothing more to do with him and I had enough friends, I dont need anymore and then I put the phone down. I still miss him like hell but I know now that it was nothing I did, this wasnt my fault. Its a fault in him. He is so focused on the one that he is missing out on good times with good people and making snap judgements. He sent me a text to say he was really sorry and I didnt reply. Of course I still love him but I no longer like him. Its a step forward if there ever was one. Thoughts? Did I do the right thing to put the phone down? I really wish it could end friendly but I do feel totally lead on and lied to and the fact he is on dating websites already screams of disrespect. It doesnt sit comfortably with me.
Emilia Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Thoughts? Did I do the right thing to put the phone down? I really wish it could end friendly but I do feel totally lead on and lied to and the fact he is on dating websites already screams of disrespect. It doesnt sit comfortably with me. Of course you did the right thing. If someone dumps you after 4 months and is on dating sites, etc, he was never invested and likely was only looking for sex. All the arguing on his part is about placating his conscience.
Author chloe1408 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 i dont think he purely wanted sex, i think he is just focused on "the long term" and is looking for this "perfect girl" that doesnt exist.
Emilia Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Mmmm someone who is serious about long term will give it more of a go in my experience - unless you had some major arguments that he thought made you incompatible. He would have to be pretty mature to see through that though and he doesn't sound mature at all. I think it's rare for a man to date in search of a wife, it's usually for sex until he finds someone to settle down with.
Author chloe1408 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 he did say that it just wasnt meant to be, he seems to have it in his head we arent compatible. Problem with him is he is quite snooty and likes things his own way I get the impression im not long term because he doesnt like my friends (they arent "insurance city men" like he kindly puts it) and I dont think he likes my family. He said he doesnt feel comfortable there. When we were together he put a lot of effort in He took me away for weekends, told me he loved me, I spent Christmas with him. It seems alot of effort to go to just for sex when he was getting that anyway
almosteverythingx Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I think you did the right thing texting him. So he knows he can't just have you when he wants. Definitely don't text him back, just leave him with that now. Best way now is to move on, Even if it is that you want him back. You will never get that old relationship back now. It is dead. So if you do want to go back there, it is still better moving on and then give it time to see if your both willing to start a fresh. x
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