br148210 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Hey everyone, I'm not going to re-write my past history with my ex in this post because it's just two lengthy. You can see it I believe by searching my username or searching it's complicated. I have did a little checking into the person she has been seeing for the interviening 7 months. This is a person who had a previous connection romantically with her and she didn't persue anything with him because he had feelings for another woman and didn't want to play second fiddle to another woman. I met her and we were together for 4 years and I was the one who broke it off. She wanted to remain friends with benefits, which I was ok with. Not to mention a financial connection with a loan. After about a month of us being broken up, and being intimate with her telling me she still loved me etc. She ends up going out on a date with him. I flipped out. In the interviening time she has slowly been pulling away and I have told her that I want to get back with her. She is non-commital and says there is a wall there. Classifys what we have as dating but not committed and she is not looking for a committed relationship with anyone, him or me , that she needs to find out what she wants. This guy has no idea we are still intimate with each other because I asked her how he would feel if he knew she was out with me, and she said he would be mad. I said exactly. She claims that there are things about her that are none of his business and that goes for me as well. I asked her if she was protecting him and she claims no she wasn't. I said all things being equal it's not really a even playing feild since I know about him but he doesn't know about me. She said she is sorry that I know about him and that it was never her intent for me to find out it was him. I did a little checking and the guy has 3 felony convictions and 7 misdemeanors. Do you think she knows? Would a woman be ok with that even if those offenses and types of offenses were in their past? What about the stigma associated with being with an ex-con? Do you think I should tell her or would it just be a case of the messenger being burned and drive her closer to him? I told her I trust what she said about not wanting to get back into a relationship with anyone, but I worry since if they have been going out for at least 6 months thats how long it took her and I to decide to be committed. Do you know of women who will just go out with a guy they claim is their friend on dates, have that person pay for dates and not reciprocate any affection physically? Most guy's would be like this is not working out. Claiming she is their friend is also interesting since I am a "friend" now who still has sex with her and helps her out financially when she is in a bind. All honesty welcome folks.
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Well a criminal record should not be a life sentence, and you don't mention what this dude specifically did. This girl probably has some idea of what he did if they've spent time talking like any two people who wanna get to know each other. It doesn't seem she's interested in working things out with you, and anyone who's been to prison is definitely born again hard. If I were you I'd consider my own welfare and move on.
Author br148210 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Just need to add that.... She still wants me to do things as if we were still in a relationship. Asks me for help financially and has me around her kids and parents and other siblings. Whats up with that. I said I loved her last night and she stammered but almost said it. And tonight she said she still cared for me, and i said I think that she still loves me and she was kinda shaken and said she cares.
CptSaveAho Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Your ex knows how to pick them Some good news for you 1)She's dating a complete loser 2)Her life wont ever be the same 3)She wants this, she doesnt care about anyone including herself 4)She knows about his past It's not your job to be her friend or help her out. Clean that mentality up. I would feel like complete crap if my ex was banging a loser like that (trust me been there). I wouldn't want anything to do with her again nor would I help her out financially. She's self destructing, don't be anywhere around her, don't peak into her life, stop helping her. She is going to use you purely for her gain now. She doesn't even know that she will but she will She doesn't love you, she only cares as a friend... thats it Time to cut off the friends/the hooking up/ and focusing on your life from this point forward
Simon Phoenix Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Just need to add that.... She still wants me to do things as if we were still in a relationship. Asks me for help financially and has me around her kids and parents and other siblings. Whats up with that. I said I loved her last night and she stammered but almost said it. And tonight she said she still cared for me, and i said I think that she still loves me and she was kinda shaken and said she cares. Unless they are your kids, then you shouldn't do any of this. You need to back the hell away from this person.
Author br148210 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Well a criminal record should not be a life sentence, and you don't mention what this dude specifically did. This girl probably has some idea of what he did if they've spent time talking like any two people who wanna get to know each other. It doesn't seem she's interested in working things out with you, and anyone who's been to prison is definitely born again hard. If I were you I'd consider my own welfare and move on. I understand people can change however I do feel used in this and she claims she doesn't want me to feel that way.I love her and am willing to walk through fire for her. She said she needs to make a decision as to if she wants to get back together with me and I need to be patient. It's my family she has issue with. The big ones were for auto theft, theft by swindle, and bank/credit card fraud. Using his brother as an alias as well. I know her parents who are elderly would have a severe issue with it as well as her ex-husband since this person would be around his kids as well and he might bring legal issues to the table. I know if I say something to her she will blame me. Not to mention but this guy works part time where she works and my brother in-law is a friend of his. One vicious little circle.
Author br148210 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 Your ex knows how to pick them Some good news for you 1)She's dating a complete loser 2)Her life wont ever be the same 3)She wants this, she doesnt care about anyone including herself 4)She knows about his past It's not your job to be her friend or help her out. Clean that mentality up. I would feel like complete crap if my ex was banging a loser like that (trust me been there). I wouldn't want anything to do with her again nor would I help her out financially. She's self destructing, don't be anywhere around her, don't peak into her life, stop helping her. She is going to use you purely for her gain now. She doesn't even know that she will but she will She doesn't love you, she only cares as a friend... thats it Time to cut off the friends/the hooking up/ and focusing on your life from this point forward Seriously I have been seeing a couselor for this crap I have been going through. Passed up other opportunities in the hopes of getting back together. Have you heard of women going through a mid-life crisis? Why oh why would she be ok going out with someone like that and be ok with it? I saw a picture of the guy and boy does she have a type he looks like a carbon copy of me.
LostOne1 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Your ex knows how to pick them Some good news for you 1)She's dating a complete loser 2)Her life wont ever be the same 3)She wants this, she doesnt care about anyone including herself 4)She knows about his past It's not your job to be her friend or help her out. Clean that mentality up. I would feel like complete crap if my ex was banging a loser like that (trust me been there). I wouldn't want anything to do with her again nor would I help her out financially. She's self destructing, don't be anywhere around her, don't peak into her life, stop helping her. She is going to use you purely for her gain now. She doesn't even know that she will but she will She doesn't love you, she only cares as a friend... thats it Time to cut off the friends/the hooking up/ and focusing on your life from this point forward Funny thing is my ex I think did the same. Though she stuck up for this guy claiming he was fooled by some other girl and got a criminal charge for a stupid reason. Maybe she is right... but I agree. It's better off moving on and knowing she is with some loser now.
crashvector Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 and I just found out today that my ex wife is letting two dudes bang her at the same time. What's your point? lol
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