denxnis Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) Two months ago I broke up with my ex girlfriend of six years because I had many suspicions that she was cheating. At the time I was doing an internship for a highly reputable company and going to school, thus I was not able or willing to give her the attention that she so obviously craved; she literally would sit next to me while I worked an would ask for attention... Yeah I know, I fuc**d up The day after we broke up she confirmed my suspicions by admitting that she had been emotionally cheating on me with her coworker. For several weeks I tried to reconcile with her and urge her not to do something stupid that would jeopardize our future if we were to ever get back together; I failed. I thought some time apart would be good for us but she immediately began dating her coworker. Like many of you, my life went down down and well down. My days are usually consistent, wake up sad/depressed, day gets better when I go to the gym or hang out with a friend, then at night I am sad again... The last time I spoke with her was 3 weeks ago when I asked her to cancel the dog's health plan so that I could start paying and change the dog's chip information over to my phone/address. Well she blocked me and hasn't contacted me since. I am no loser, career wise I am doing exceptionally well while she works her "blue collar" job with no college or real future ahead. The only thing this other guy has on me is that he works out more, is more tan, and can give her more attention than me because well... he works with her. She hasn't tried to contact me since I last asked her to cancel the dogs health plan (which would save her $), no merry christmas no happy new year, and to kick a man when he is down flaunts a picture of her and this douche bag off saying she is "happy". When we first started dating my ex became very clingy after only a few months, however with this person she is pulling that crap right off the bat and is not waiting to display how interested she is in him. It really makes me look and feel like an idiot for ever dating her... My Question to you all is this. Why? How can another human being that once loved me and was with me for 6 years treat me like such crap. I am not here for sympathy, I just cannot understand how/why someone would act this way. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that jumping into a relationship right afterwards is disrespectful and immoral; not to mention posting pictures all over the internet only makes you look like an *******. I have suspicions that her single friends are pushing her to do some of these things but that is no excuse, she is 21 and an adult. Edited January 4, 2013 by denxnis
crashvector Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Because once they dump you, they stop caring. I tell you, women can be AWFULLY cold-hearted. I know. 3
Bluem Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I think you answered your own question: Two months ago I broke up with my ex girlfriend of six years because I had many suspicions that she was cheating. At the time I was doing an internship for a highly reputable company and going to school, thus I was not able or willing to give her the attention that she so obviously craved; she literally would sit next to me while I worked an would ask for attention... Yeah I know, I fuc**d up The day after we broke up she confirmed my suspicions by admitting that she had been emotionally cheating on me with her coworker. For several weeks I tried to reconcile with her and urge her not to do something stupid that would jeopardize our future if we were to ever get back together; I failed. I thought some time apart would be good for us but she immediately began dating her coworker. Like many of you, my life went down down and well down. My days are usually consistent, wake up sad/depressed, day gets better when I go to the gym or hang out with a friend, then at night I am sad again... The last time I spoke with her was 3 weeks ago when I asked her to cancel the dog's health plan so that I could start paying and change the dog's chip information over to my phone/address. Well she blocked me and hasn't contacted me since. I am no loser, career wise I am doing exceptionally well while she works her "blue collar" job with no college or real future ahead. The only thing this other guy has on me is that he works out more, is more tan, and can give her more attention than me because well... he works with her. She hasn't tried to contact me since I last asked her to cancel the dogs health plan (which would save her $), no merry christmas no happy new year, and to kick a man when he is down flaunts a picture of her and this douche bag off saying she is "happy". When we first started dating my ex became very clingy after only a few months, however with this person she is pulling that crap right off the bat and is not waiting to display how interested she is in him. It really makes me look and feel like an idiot for ever dating her... My Question to you all is this. Why? How can another human being that once loved me and was with me for 6 years treat me like such crap. I am not here for sympathy, I just cannot understand how/why someone would act this way. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that jumping into a relationship right afterwards is disrespectful and immoral; not to mention posting pictures all over the internet only makes you look like an *******. I have suspicions that her single friends are pushing her to do some of these things but that is no excuse, she is 21 and an adult. To her - your relationship is a failure and she wants to get past it. It probably didn't make her feel great that you were doing so well (given, you said, she has no future) and ignoring her. You made her feel insecure and rejected, and this new guy makes her feel validated. Sure, maybe he's a loser in your eyes - but he's what she wants. She has not yet realized that no relationship can fulfill you. To her, you remind her of rejection, etc. This is why she's avoiding you. I don't think it's necessarily that she's trying to disrespect you as much as simply get over you and focus on her attention cravings. She feels hurt. Let her be. Forget about her. Are you still friends with her on FB? Delete her. Delete her #. Stop hearing about her - don't let people tell you about her. It's easy to make her look like a villan, etc and you have every right to be angry. What's the point though? She's a waste of your time. You're a successful guy, and odds are, you're going to find someone who is motivated/driven and more compatible with you. This girl seems very childish - put it behind you. 1
LostOne1 Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 I think you answered your own question: To her - your relationship is a failure and she wants to get past it. It probably didn't make her feel great that you were doing so well (given, you said, she has no future) and ignoring her. You made her feel insecure and rejected, and this new guy makes her feel validated. Sure, maybe he's a loser in your eyes - but he's what she wants. She has not yet realized that no relationship can fulfill you. To her, you remind her of rejection, etc. This is why she's avoiding you. I don't think it's necessarily that she's trying to disrespect you as much as simply get over you and focus on her attention cravings. She feels hurt. Let her be. Forget about her. Are you still friends with her on FB? Delete her. Delete her #. Stop hearing about her - don't let people tell you about her. It's easy to make her look like a villan, etc and you have every right to be angry. What's the point though? She's a waste of your time. You're a successful guy, and odds are, you're going to find someone who is motivated/driven and more compatible with you. This girl seems very childish - put it behind you. I gotta agree. I'm slowly starting to realize my ex was living the same life. She thinks a relationship is perfect, but doesn't realize there are ALWAYS ups and downs. She does't know what a relationship means yet. Also if a girl stops feeling something.. there is no way to change it. I think my ex thought I pushed her away or told herself that and she believed it in her mind. She pushed herself to BU and must have really fought her feelings to go through with it and then just not care after awhile. It's somethin I guess we won't fully know. I guess like bluem has said... they wanted somethin that wasn't fufilled and don't know yet that you can't fufill everything in a relationship. On top of that our ex's were hurting so their pain changes how they feel about us. And right now wether they are with someone else or just enjoying life... they are happy and that's why we are nothing to them. The thought of us gives them pain and a reminder of being so close and then having to move on. I kinda hope I run into my ex at school even if it's once in the next 4 months. I'd just like her to see me and feel my presense and know I'm around and doing well. I know SHE will care but she won't show it in anyway. If I remember her story correctly her last relationship when it ended... it took her a LONG time to heal she said.. and honestly our relationship was the best she had and the longest, the most serious and the first time she ever introduced a guy to her family. So I'm sure deep down it will take her awhile to heal too, she's just putting it off due to anger. And her anger is pretty bad more like road rage anger lol...
Author denxnis Posted January 4, 2013 Author Posted January 4, 2013 (edited) I think you answered your own question: To her - your relationship is a failure and she wants to get past it. It probably didn't make her feel great that you were doing so well (given, you said, she has no future) and ignoring her. You made her feel insecure and rejected, and this new guy makes her feel validated. Sure, maybe he's a loser in your eyes - but he's what she wants. She has not yet realized that no relationship can fulfill you. To her, you remind her of rejection, etc. This is why she's avoiding you. I don't think it's necessarily that she's trying to disrespect you as much as simply get over you and focus on her attention cravings. She feels hurt. Let her be. Forget about her. Are you still friends with her on FB? Delete her. Delete her #. Stop hearing about her - don't let people tell you about her. It's easy to make her look like a villan, etc and you have every right to be angry. What's the point though? She's a waste of your time. You're a successful guy, and odds are, you're going to find someone who is motivated/driven and more compatible with you. This girl seems very childish - put it behind you. Thank you Bluem, I think you hit the nail on the head. In her eyes this guy is amazing because he is giving her everything she needs right now. After we broke up I did a lot to try and persuade her not to give up on us, yet it all went in one ear and out the other. In your opinion do you think she will ever realize what she threw away? Although I am certain I could never take her back it really sucks ending a relationship like this. By next year we could have moved into a nice house with our dog, whom she cherished, traveled, and pretty much have had it made. I gotta agree. I'm slowly starting to realize my ex was living the same life. She thinks a relationship is perfect, but doesn't realize there are ALWAYS ups and downs. She does't know what a relationship means yet. Also if a girl stops feeling something.. there is no way to change it. I think my ex thought I pushed her away or told herself that and she believed it in her mind. She pushed herself to BU and must have really fought her feelings to go through with it and then just not care after awhile. It's somethin I guess we won't fully know. I guess like bluem has said... they wanted somethin that wasn't fufilled and don't know yet that you can't fufill everything in a relationship. On top of that our ex's were hurting so their pain changes how they feel about us. And right now wether they are with someone else or just enjoying life... they are happy and that's why we are nothing to them. The thought of us gives them pain and a reminder of being so close and then having to move on. I kinda hope I run into my ex at school even if it's once in the next 4 months. I'd just like her to see me and feel my presense and know I'm around and doing well. I know SHE will care but she won't show it in anyway. If I remember her story correctly her last relationship when it ended... it took her a LONG time to heal she said.. and honestly our relationship was the best she had and the longest, the most serious and the first time she ever introduced a guy to her family. So I'm sure deep down it will take her awhile to heal too, she's just putting it off due to anger. And her anger is pretty bad more like road rage anger lol... LostOne1, this is your ego man. I definitely am on the same page as you but I think you have an arterial modem as well. Edited January 4, 2013 by denxnis spelling
UppercutHook Posted January 4, 2013 Posted January 4, 2013 Because once they dump you, they stop caring. I tell you, women can be AWFULLY cold-hearted. I know. Wish this weren't true, but it is.
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